Dew drops on a blood-stained field

Dew drops on a blood-stained field

A Poem by Sherbs Dreaming Tree Of Poetry
"

Something that popped up when reading comments that my poetry was getting a bit repeatable so i'm going to change the structure and subject of my poetry to kind of a Gothicy Romancey style

"
I walk through this field,
    Or graveyard,
For misconstrued lovers,
     Unlucky souls more like,
Walking past the bodies of her past,
      With theirs hearts removed,
I look around to pieces of flesh,
       What appeared to be parts of heart,
The stagnant stench of death,
         Lurking in the air,
I glanced around for signs of life,
           The air, like the smell, was dead,
Where is the creator of this monstrosity?, 
             This foul temptress of love and seduction,
How do we stop this malpractice of love,
               This evil deity of false pretences,
It can never be stopped,
For this deity is life,
An unorthodox creature,
Of misery and sorrow. 

© 2011 Sherbs Dreaming Tree Of Poetry


Author's Note

Sherbs Dreaming Tree Of Poetry
Something a little bit different so please let me know what you think :)

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Featured Review

This was neat, quite different from your other work that I've read. Good different--- I think that your others needed a little bit more description but this one was great! I love the words you use here!
For misconstrued lovers,
This evil deity of false pretences,

Those were my favourite lines. I never have heard much Gothic poetry, but I like this one! Nicely written!


Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

i enjoyed the change of pace of your writing... it still had the dark side of a theme.. but would enjoy to see you break out of your comfort zone even more... excellent job!

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This ones really good, like walking threw a real battle.
I love the last 2 lines, An unorthodox creature, Of misery and sorrow.



Posted 13 Years Ago


This was neat, quite different from your other work that I've read. Good different--- I think that your others needed a little bit more description but this one was great! I love the words you use here!
For misconstrued lovers,
This evil deity of false pretences,

Those were my favourite lines. I never have heard much Gothic poetry, but I like this one! Nicely written!


Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

this is great!!! but i feel as if there is something missing from it...not sure what...
fav line was:
"Where is the creator of this monstrosity?,
This foul temptress of love and seduction,"
99/100

Posted 13 Years Ago


I agree with the comment below-this sounds more like a story than a poem (and would make a great one, if you decide to change it). I would suggest formating the whole of the poem the same way, and looking up at some of the commas since most of them are not needed. Nonetheless, this is a great read-indeed quite Gothic-romantic. Good stuff!

Posted 13 Years Ago


sardonic and creepy.
Seemed more story than poem, to be honest.
Good read, though.

Posted 13 Years Ago


Different is good! Alittle dark, brings your senses to life!!

Posted 13 Years Ago


WOW! This was awesome! I love the imagery you choosed!

Posted 13 Years Ago


different... but still really good!
the ending is epic I must say!

Posted 13 Years Ago



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Added on February 22, 2011
Last Updated on February 22, 2011

Author

Sherbs Dreaming Tree Of Poetry
Sherbs Dreaming Tree Of Poetry

Kirkcaldy, Sherbs house on Sherbs street :D, United Kingdom



About
I am Sherb of Sherbs Dreaming tree, Come inside and see, My marvellous range of tea. Haha Im Sherb I love poetry, it was my life for wuite a while and i have been suffering an 18 month block .. more..

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