A demonic romance

A bit anti-christian

Blood lusting hunters

skulking like rats

 

Cowering...

 

From their master

 

She is lillith

The outcast of Eden

The untold story

Of a gothic romance in paradise

 

Stricken down like a leper

She prevails in her bittersweet seductions

That snake of the garden

That hissing hell-hound

 

She will bring all to their knees

Crippling all good in the world

Draining our lifeforces

The apocalypse is nigh

 

Those lips so full

Yet behind them a forked tongue slithers

 

Her glistening eyes make hearts pound

Yet they harbour pure evil

 

She will bring all to their knees

In a demonic romance

Even the most...

Blood...

lusting...

hunters...

Reviews

[♥Chloe-The-Zombi..]

wow. really good. i like it. favorite line was:
"She will bring all to their knees
In a demonic romance
Even the most...
Blood...
lusting...
hunters..."
i like it. 98/100

[Sherbs Dreaming Tree Of..]

Well katub it was you heheh

[Katub]

Wow, its really good little white boy, I didn't think it would be hehe, who was your inspiration!?

[Detective Watts]

Everything you right has a Necronomiconal level of brain-bending, inhuman, terror-inducing morbidness.

Marquis de Sade himself couldn't have done a better job at leaving me feeling depressed and alone.

95/100

[ice]

I think you have to reread the story of Lilith..Adams first wife..
She was not the snake, she was not evel..She was the first womens libber
She told Adam to buzz off...

But I do like the poem
I am a little puzzeled...The first stanzas words conotates plural beings-hunters and rats..but you say...

"She is lillith
The outcast of Eden"

"She"as being a singular being...multiple personalities?

Keep writing
ice

[Sherbs Dreaming Tree Of..]

The idea of the ellipsis is to fade out
Not o end with a punch lulling someone into a false ending causing mysteries

[freelancejouster]

since you're my capitalization stickler, i'd like to point out "lillith" at look at you with an arched brow. okay, maybe i shouldn't be so, as this poem is quite frightening, but i digress. where punctuation is your friend and should be looked into to end most lines here, ellipses are not. again, your last three lines fade out instead of ending with a punch, leaving the reader unsatified. you paint a dark picture here, in this almost-ode, and for that i compliment you :)