The gothic Lurker

Inspired by a band called Theatre des vampires :)

Can you feel its presence?

Its questioning glances

It lurks in the corner

Watching and waiting

 

Cursing your pleasure

Begging for attention

Never receiving

Never giving

 

He watches for fear

He can smell your fear

He relishes it

Will you succumb to his evil?

 

His scorned erotica

Bringing eternal pain and anguish

Just watch and wait

Yours will come soon enough

Author's Note

Please comment :D

Reviews

[freelancejouster]

brilliant. the two opening lines are very powerful, and i'm awed by the last stanza, though the last line could use some work as 'yours' doesn't really connect well to anything. maybe some rewording? the repetition of 'fear' doesn't quite work, it gives that stanza an awkward lilt... otherwise, this is great, wonderful work.

[Maureen Mwaniki]

Scorned erotica brining eternal pain and anguish...oh bite me!:-P u potray vimpires in erotic but dangerous way!i love it!

[Madison A. Wright]

vampires... they have such an erotic image to them that you just cant help but be drawn to them. this poem deff pulled me in.. felt like i was waiting for one to jump down at me..

[guiltyascharged]

Hn. Really good, but what I don't understand, is why something so horrible would exist. Brilliant work.

[HopelesslyDevoted]

nice job, i like this

[Short.Nerd]

Nice!

[♥Chloe-The-Zombi..]

this is UH-AMAZING!!!! my favorite part was "His scorned erotica
Bringing eternal pain and anguish
Just watch and wait
Yours will come soon enough"
totally genius. great poem! 100/100

[emona]

love it it actually kinda described fear because fear is exactly like that. were you talking about fear?

[Katub]

This is amazing James, I'm not kidding. When did you get so talented?

[M.Babu]

You have a strong opening here and that kept my attention throughout. Your other pretty much summed up my critique of repetition which i thought blemished the piece a bit but overall you have a gift here so perfect it and awe up with your words! Congratulations keep writing.