Tangled Hearts Part 3

Chapter 255-2

Tangled Hearts

Part 3

 

It was nearly 2 am before we turned in for the night; we were more than tired and could have slept the entire week away here in bed. Yet none of us could bring ourselves to do it. Mom opened our door telling us breakfast would be on the table in 30 minutes. It only gave us boys a chance to quickly jump into the shower, brush our teeth and put on a robe. Mom hated us being fully dressed for breakfast, too her it meant we were all rushing away from family; and family meant everything to her. The first thing I noticed was my mother as she was busy talking to Dad regarding our plans today.

My mother only had to see her therapist for a brief one-hour session one on one. Then she too would be joining us today as we shoot the premiere of Tangled Hearts. Today she was glowing with a radiance I hadn’t seen in a very long time. She was happy, happier then she had been in a long while. The moment she saw me she smiled at me said. “There’s my golden sunshine now.” It didn’t matter how many times I have told her not call me that, she insisted on doing it. It sounded so babyish compared to Tiger and EJ, but she refused to call me that. It was her way of showing me her affection.

The moment I sat down at the table Mom placed a large plate of whole wheat pancakes in front of me. I had mentioned that she was a total health food nut. It had taken a while to get used to the idea that everything I put in my mouth was some sort of hyper vitamin that so supposed to keep us all healthy. The only thing I can say is, it was a rarity if any of us got sick, or we recovered quickly. Mom stated it was because of what she was feeding us.  Dad and my mother soon joined us at the table so Dad can say the prayer.

Mom and Dad still firmly believed in praying, but it wasn’t like it was when I first came to live with them. They still had family prayer not as often as we used to in fact we were lucky if it was not more then once a week which was usually done on Sunday and we prayed when we gathered around the table unless some from the satanic church were among us then it was never said.

However, it was our choice if choose to say our individual prayers. Many of us have stopped doing so including me. Mostly because I really didn’t believe that God was really listening. Yet then there was Jeff, how could I justify him as a spiritual guide. Yet not once has he indicated that God actually listens or cares if we pray or not.  In the meantime, I simply did what was expected of me, even if it meant I had to give the prayer when it was my turn. It was just words said out loud, most if not all of it was just a mantra ritual borrowed from everyone else and wishful thinking.

Even my mother followed everyone’s example even though prayer doesn’t exist in her house. Nor did she firmly believe in family home evening or having us read our scriptures. Mom and Dad had slacked off in regarding that, in fact, I was a little surprised when Dad said ending the prayer. “Mom and I were talking last night that its time we as a family being as many of our new boys are not have been baptized, or not familiar with the workings of the LDS Church. That we should start by each morning reading two chapters, of scriptures and have family prayer right after and go back to the days where we had family home evening.

“Mom and I have set a goal to have the book Mormon read by Christmas and have all our boys and our new sister Loraine baptized in the church soon after. We feel this will unite our family and bring us all closer together. So after breakfast, we will meet in the living room for one hour before school and before anything else… and have a quick family devotion like we used to do.

“I have located us a piano which will arrive sometime today. That tonight we will have our first family hymn with us around the piano instead of us all sing off key and not knowing the words to the music. We will each get a chance to pick a song and take turns reading the scriptures and saying the prayer so the Holy Spirit wants to live in our hearts, our homes, and our minds during these stressful and dark times we live in when dealing with Mr. Tate and the satanic church.”

Everyone groaned regarding Dads plan of uniting us as a family. Dad wasn’t done dropping bombshells as he filled his plated smothering his pancakes in butter and homemade maple syrup said. “Being as Nate here is the oldest of our boys; I think we should begin with him, to open up our little family devotional. Then we will work our way down the line until everyone has had a turn.”

My mouth gasped opened like a fish, I wanted to hide under the table or in some dark hole where the world could never find me. Dad was waiting for me to set an example for my younger brothers. The fact I had just rapped our newest member last night was lost on him. Again those chains were getting heavier, but I managed a brief nod and words that seemed strange to me as I said. “Your right Dad, we do need something to bring us closer together, and with many of my new brothers not being a member of our church or baptized it would be something as a family we can do.”

Dad said wiping his mouth to remove the syrup that had dripped down his chin. “Excellent, so it’s been decided that today you will lead our devotional today and help your brothers when they need help with theirs.”

I gave a nod and focused on my breakfast feeling the blush on my cheeks being the center of attention as Eli said whispering in my ear. “Please tell me your Dad isn’t serious?”

I smiled and said. “Very serious, “as I whisper back.

I turned to Dad and said. “So my first obligation of leading our divisional today is to say the opening prayer and chose someone to say the closing prayer, pick a song and have someone read today?”

Dad nodded and I smiled, said. “And it can be anyone here considering we are in a sense all family?” Dad nodded I smiled, even more, looking over at Eli, said. “Eli will be the first to read the first chapter, and Jared and Terry being as they are next in line as my brothers will each read half of the second chapter. Rhoda and Kerry will pick the song and Jody will lead it.”

Eli gaps, the moment the words came out of my mouth, but Dad had left the decision up to me, said; “excellent son, now who will lead us in family prayer?”

I chewed my food for a couple of minutes then said. “You will Dad since it was your idea, you should be the one to do it.” Dad's face paled a little but he put on his big boy pants and nodded that he would be honored to do it. In spite, he had already given the breakfast prayer. It was his idea and he needed to own up to the fact that it was his idea.

I had about 10 minutes or so to work out the words I would say, nothing to elaborate considering it wasn’t a speech; the words held no meaning to me, they were simply words nothing more.  I also had to think where I had put my scriptures, even though I had two sets, one for home and one for school. The ones at home were a little less used and dusty compared to the ones I used at home. 

Mom hadn’t gotten around to buying each of my new brothers their own set of scriptures. In fact, she intended today for Terry so he could be enrolled into the seminary program. It wasn’t uncommon to have students that weren’t yet members of the LDS church to be enrolled into the program, but it was indeed a rarity.

The church didn’t care about if they had been baptized to be enrolled into the program, they preferred it. However, there was no church law in regards to having non-members enrolled even more so when they are being prepared to be baptized. Eli and the girls had already been baptized and confirmed as a member of the LDS Church. Terry and my new younger brothers haven’t and Mom and Dad were making it their number one goal for those that were over the age of 8 or close to it.

So far Mom and Dad have kept their promise to me in regards to me not getting evolved in blessing and preparing the sacrament being as there was plenty of other boys to do it. Yet they are wanting me too set them an example of what would be expected of each of them the moment they became a member of our family, and Dad being a God-fearing man. That promise was going to be broken.

Being as none of my new brothers had even read the book of Mormon and some may have heard or read the bible or are familiar with some of the stories. It was a good one to start with. Plus the fact missionaries use the Book of Mormon as their main resource to get non-members into the church quickly.  I may not ever go on a mission, but Mom and Dad were giving me the opportunity to set an example of a good LDS person. Even though I truly believed that this church is flawed, and in many ways is governed by people that say one thing and do another.

Yet in truth, all religion is all based on the same principles. The one thing I do believe in when it comes to religion is our choice how we live, and no one has that right to dictate what we do or what we should believe in; however, when it comes to the LDS Church or any church you have to pick your battles.

Personally, I believe that it is between you and God and no one else to dictate what you should believe or how you should live your life. Sad to say the majority of the LDS church focuses on forcing others to either believe what they believe or to shun them because they refuse to… or the fact that everyone isn’t perfect. To me, it's just nothing more than words, but sometimes those words cut you to the core where it hurts, knowing you will never be accepted for who you are because you did not live up to their glorified standards.

Time went quickly as we gathered together in the living room for a quick devotional before the mayhem of the day truly began. We had given my mother time to dress since she needed to be back at the hospital on time within a few minutes after our devotional. We too had to be ready to leave so we could be on time; everything was timed down to the smallest detail. I could feel the clock ticking in my mind as we knelled in prayer for the first time as a family in a very long time.

When Dad prayed he prayed with his heart and soul because he firmly believed in the LDS Church. The words he said were felt deep inside as Mom cried softly like she usually did when Dad prayed like this. Yet I was a little surprised to see my mother as well having tears in her eyes, knowing that this is what is meant in regards of love for family. Something she didn’t have, and most likely never have as long as my father was evolved.