Here’s Mud In Your Eye. Part 3

Chapter 243-2

Here’s Mud In Your Eye.

Part 3

Greg walked me and Sparky back to my cabin as Rhoda and Lucy with her three boys were pulling up into the driveway with their driver. Landan asked the driver to come inside and wait where it was warm. Telling him his services were still needed. Lucy said. “Landan dear, what are you trying to do, get yourself landed in jail on purpose? You know you can’t leave confines of Heber.”

Mom said. “Of course he can, he just can’t leave the boundaries of Salt Lake City when he needs to be working in regards to our fundraisers. I have called the Marriott and they are holding us rooms there, considering the ones you were staying in have been sold to some college students so they can have huge parties and go skiing this weekend… and after last night the manager wouldn’t even speak to me because of what has happened in the middle of his lobby. Stating the owners or angry about him allowing this to happen in the first place. Stringum going to have to settle it, they refused my apology. Now come inside its freezing out here.”

Mom gave them each a nice cup of hot chocolate, she cringed as the men were drilling holes in her walls and ceiling. Dad said loud enough over the noise. Watching ceiling dust and particles make a mess on Mom’s new carpets. “Let’s take our conversation down to our room so we can hear each other without the noise.” Everyone one else was either in their rooms or over at Dotty’s house, to escape it.

Mom took a seat as Dad closed the door hearing the noise subside. Mom said. “They are going to be at it all night into tomorrow. So Mr. Tate can start filming on Monday or Tuesday. I am not sure how he thinks that’s going to be possible considering the boys he wants to film are working down in the big crew kitchen preparing for the big fundraisers. He said that he doesn’t care about that, or the fact they will be up all night filming so he can something to show at his gala on Saturday. He plans to be on a plane with the boys Mark and Nate to film at each of the schools to see which one he wants to use.

“The fact that it’s the last days of the term or the fact it’s the big fundraisers doesn’t have any sway with him. I hoping Stringum will say something considering he promised me that school will always be first and work second. Its big week for us all so, I am insisting we take advantage of this weekend because who knows we will get another one before the hearings. Not just one but two. Then we jump into Thanksgiving and Christmas with parties almost twice a week and not mention our undercover work.

“So here’s what I plan to do, we are going to send Nate and Rhoda down to your place for the weekend with your three boys Lucy. Then when Stringum comes back around 7 pm to go over the evidence that we have so far and then we will leave him and Tony to it. Then the rest of us will take the rest of the weekend off and play hooky in Salt Lake City, and finish what we started. Call it a working weekend going over the details of the fundraiser. Perhaps do a little Christmas shopping as well.

“Jody and David, with the help of Kerry; will watch the younger kids for us over the weekend. Leaving older kids to plan games and work out the decor for the Halloween party for the kids as well as the dance, with the help of David, Kerry and the Benson's when they come home tonight or in the morning. Dr. Sar’s and Bishop Sakes and Kirk's mom will be also on hand if need be as well as Dotty to keep everything under control until we come back Saturday night depending on the roads. So that’s it, does anyone have any questions?”

No one did and Mom released us. She and Dad pulled me aside as everyone was leaving, said. “You still haven’t read any of Shawn’s letters. I know you don’t believe him, but Dad and I have talked to him over the phone and to the headmaster. Shawn says he really is sorry, and his grades have come up and the new headmaster said he really thinks Shawn is turning himself around. Dad and I have agreed that we should bring him home for Thanksgiving and if it goes well… we see about Christmas break, but it would really help us as a family to let the past go and give him a chance.

“Jody has and is written to him and called him. He has apologized to her. She has a lot more to be sorry for then you do. It would really mean a lot to me and Dad if we could have our entire family home for Thanksgiving, well except for Shane, but he supposed to call.”

Everything screamed at me not to do it, but the look in Mom and Dads face said they really believed him. I said. “Jeff says it is lying.”

Dad said. “It may be a lie son. But if we don’t give him the benefit of the doubt we will never know. We gave you the same chance and look how that turned out. Jeff even told you that we have lied to you many times, which was true we did. Not trusting you with our family secret; knowing if you found out about our lifestyle and you told the wrong people. We could all be facing prison and our children taken away from us and put into the system. Yet none of that happened. Instead, we gave you the benefit of the doubt, and invited you to be part of our family.”

I looked at Dad in the eye and said. “I am holding you to your promise, that if Shawn harms me and my brothers or my friends. You will see too it that he can never do so ever again. I want that in writing and signed by you and Mom. It's one thing to let people of the satanic church rape me and my brothers, and keep me and them prepared so it can save our lives.

“It’s another when someone like Shawn and Mr. Tate and his sick friends do it when it has nothing to do with keeping us alive or in the name of their demon church. You swore an oath to me and my brothers that Shawn would never touch us again in that way.

“The same oath you swore that you would never use the cattail whip on any of us our the turntable. You promised God, you promised Jeff and my mother as well as my grandmother that nothing like that would happen again. You have kept that promise so far, even though you have come close of breaking it, when Gloria did it, fake or not, your fault or not makes no difference to them or me. But I have given you the benefit of the doubt that you won’t go back on your word.

“It’s the same with my mother. I have given her the benefit of the doubt because you promised me that if she ever broke that promise she would never see me again, and my brother who you promised if that happened you would take him and raise him as your own like me. So he would never be placed into the system. I want you to put that in writing knowing if you do will never break that promise.

“It is the only thing I will except in regards to Shawn coming to visit. Knowing that if it works out he will have to prove himself that he deserves the benefit of the doubt. Then when he breaks that trust it is the last time, or I will personally kill him for it. The law will be on my side, not yours, not his. Because you allowed it to happen when you have given me your sacred promise, and everyone else.

“I will kill him and then when my mother and my grandmother find out. What has happened and why you let it happen. I will lose two families where I could have been happy. You have no idea how it hurts knowing that I will never see the Downing’s again or if I find them I will be unable to be one of them. I’ll be 18 in year’s time, without nothing or no one. Not even a home to call my own or parents when that happens, because of Shawn, and you let it happen. Shawn is lying to you, and I don’t understand why you can’t see that.

“He has lied so many times, he lied about raping his brothers, and he has lied about rapping their friends. He has lied about doing drugs, and getting drunk and getting stoned with the other foster kids you have taken in. He has lied so many times and yet you believe him because he says that he has changed, and brought his grades up… and you believe this new headmaster who I have said, and Stringum and Tony have said is a liar and in sheep’s clothing put in place by Crawford and his demon psychopath friends. Yet covers his trail by the time we can get there.

“Ask yourselves how many times I have lied to you? How are my grades? Who are the boys that I have raped? Or threatened to kill if they don’t have sex with me? Ask your selves how many times I have given you the benefit of the doubt that you are sorry how you first treated me, not believing that what’s in my file? Believing that I was just another bad boy, like the rest?

“How hard it was for me to live each day prisoner in your own home, not knowing if I will die. Or if Mom here is going to drown me before someone can stop her. Or when you come home all pissed off and grab the whip and beat the s**t out of me. Then nearly dieing because you had gone too far, questioning if the next to you do it will be. I have done everything you have asked me to do. I have accepted the fact that this is the life I wanted.

“I have never run away, since being in your home. I have done all I can to make it work, knowing that if I can’t the only place I was going was to boys ranch for troubled teens. I was told up front this was the last foster home I would see the moment they took me away from the Downing’s kicking and screaming for making one stupid mistake, which was I needed to say goodbye to my brother and my grandmother.

“I was cautioned by them it was a bad idea. I was counseled by Jeff that it was a bad idea. I didn’t listen like you are not listening now that Shawn is pulling the wool over your eyes. He knows you will take him back and forgive him. It will be open season the moment he finds out what we have been doing. He will be angry when he finds out what we have been doing. Yet you punished him and Arthur and every boy you have taken in for doing it.

“He will use that to his advantage, not caring who he hurts, he won’t care which boy he rapes. He will be a predator raping every young boy here in town and in school. Knowing you won’t stop him or can’t stop him once he knows that if you do. He can turn you in for child endangerment. He won’t care if you lose every one of us or that you end up in prison or found dead lying in a gutter as he sells all of us out to the satanic church.

“He will be their newest member with the support of the entire satanic church behind him. He will contact Crawford and every member here and they will accept him and everything, and I mean everything we have done to take them down will be wasted and the people we have brought to our side will be sacrificed and their families, our friends, everyone including our entire family.

“Shawn is a monster. I have seen his cruelty first hand. I have been told by Jeff that he is lying and waiting to make his move. I have been told he still at it as we speak. You have been told by me and Stringum and Tony the same thing. And you call and find out that that is not true, he has changed. Yet, when we tell you about his victims there are no traces of them. The headmaster says it common for boys to run away. So he says. Yet we have given you everything to prove it.

“It’s not our fault that you refuse to believe it when it comes to Shawn. I have worked miracles with Jeff and you believed him and we have done things no one thought was possible. Yet when it comes to Shawn you believe him over me, over Jeff, over Stringum and Tony. This time I am not going down for this when he comes home and he rapes me and my brothers and friends; for the sake of doing it, and no other reason.

“Which is why I am demanding you to give it to me in writing. That if he does you will promise me. He will be gone, and never coming back. My brothers and many of our friends that know Shawn will be wanting the same promises.

“Knowing if you put it in writing you will not break that promise. I will give you my written promises to give him the benefit of the doubt, but if he touches me in that way without my permission and my bothers or any of our friends or touches another boy regardless if they are a member of the satanic church or some other faith.

“I will kill him, or make sure he loses that part of his anatomy and then feed it too him. Then I will blame you, and I will have no choice but to inform the authorities and let the chips fall where they may. I am sorry. I’ll read those damn letters now so you know I have read them. But I am holding you responsible when Shawn comes and he lies and you do nothing. Please don’t make me choose losing another family or to choose to kill Shawn. Loosing what self-respect I have for you.

“I do not think I could bear losing another family. Knowing I can never trust you ever again, as I watch him rape my brothers and my friends. Knowing you will do nothing because he is your flesh and blood. It takes more than that to become parents.”

I hugged Mom and Dad, Mom said.” If that’s what you want, it’s only fair, considering you and your brothers have a lot riding on our decision. Shawn knows what we are doing and he wants to help. You will see as you read his letters.” I cringed knowing everything I said went out one ear out the other as Mom said. “Our boy is coming home.”