Turn-Table Part 3

Chapter 88-2

Turn-Table

Part 3

 

No one said anything when Shawn’s chair was still empty, nor the fact that Mom had given Dad a plate for both boys down in the basement, Dad left Shawn’s plate on the counter and took Arthur’s down to him, having Mom remind him to bring up all his dirty dishes. As I had said before Arthur was no longer welcomed at the table, mostly it was because none of us could stand to look at him or the fact he became uncontrollable and would s**t his pants on purpose regardless that he had spent nearly an hour to do his business and when he did he thought it was funny.

It got so bad that Mom and Dad would make him wear a diaper that old people would wear in rest homes. Several times he would go without and rub his bare a*s on the carpet or draw pictures in his own waste on the walls he was supposed to be cleaning. The psychologist would say that he was just acting out. That in time he would stop when we stopped paying attention to his outrage.

After the first month, he got worse, not better, having the doctor suggest that Arthur be returned to the institution. Yet Mom or Dad would argue regarding if it would have been better to send Arthur back to the institution, as the doctor suggested and would have if they didn’t need the money to help support their family. It didn’t help to know that they had waved their rights as foster parents and were no longer allowed to foster any more children; making Arthur and their last, but keeping Arthur prisoner wasn’t a solution either.

Dad and Mom needed to decide quickly with school just around the corner. For now, it was just simply decided that Arthur would remain locked in his room other than chores and bathroom breaks. Dad was the only one big and strong enough to control Arthur when it comes to giving him a shower. Not once did Dad complain about it, but when Arthur made a point to cover himself in his waste soon after. It set the tone that Dad had, had it and was on the warpath, and nobody wanted to be near him.

Dad was true to his word that night after spending the entire day down in the basement with Shawn. He called us all into the living room and had us take a seat on the coach. The large brown folder in his lap as he skimmed the pages, he quickly scanned our faces and remind us that we had agreed to tell him the truth. We all said “yes sir” and made ourselves comfortable as Mom took the other seat in front of Dad. The living room seemed bare without the piano, it was the one thing that we had all decided not to replace until we had enough money to spare and would save up for to buy a used one.

Dad or Mom would take me to the church house and let me practice at least twice a week if my chores were done and I was golden. It was something I had to earn like everything else, having Dad state, “Nothing is for free son. Like most things in life, if you want it bad enough you would earn it.”

Yet to me it was another memory of something I had lost and it was Kerry and Jody as they would sit down with me and share that time with me, now that too was gone like Shane and his protective arms around me each night whenever I had a bad episode.

I tried not to think about it because when I did I would want to hurt myself just to feel nothing. Yet that too I had promised Mom and Dad that I wouldn’t do that anymore, instead, I would come to them and they would put their arms around me. Let me cry in their arms instead of letting me feel that I needed to be numb.

Even my home visits had been placed on hold, most of the time it was my father would refuse my mother to have me at home. Or I would simply decline because I didn’t want to face the fact when the visit was over I would feel trapped between the two families. For now, my mother had agreed that I would spend my last few weeks before school starts no exception. I knew sooner or later that I needed to come to terms with everyone leaving me. Yet so far I have no idea how that was ever going to happen.

Dad opened the floor asking us one by one everything we had said to my caseworker. He said he just wanted the truth and he wouldn’t be angry or take us to task because it was water under the bridge.  I told him everything that I had talked about leaving nothing out, stating she had taken us individually not as a group so I had no idea what my brothers have said. He understood and said he would have done the same if he was in her shoes.

I even said that she had already figured out that he caused my injuries and it wasn’t a skating accident and all I said. “No, it wasn’t a skating accident, that you did it because you had lost your temper and I had gotten in the way the second time,” I told him she was angry because she wasn’t aware that he had done it the first time and now this was the second time.

I told her not to think any more of it, that I had forgiven him and Mom for what they had done to me. She said it had taken great courage to do so. That most boys would have run away instead I stayed and worked it out and because of that I have been able to show that I wasn’t a bad kid, but a kid that just wanted parents to love me when my own had refused too.”

I hadn’t realized I was crying, but neither was I ashamed of it, as Mom crossed the room and took me in her arms.

Dad only asked a few more questions, at first I didn’t answer right away because he wanted to know if I had told anyone else. Something inside me said to say no, but I had promised Dad and Mom that I would answer honestly rather than being placed back into the turn-table. I nodded said. “Yes, because my grandmother and the Downing’s, as well as my Aunt Margaret, had taught me that when a person abuses me and that same person wants me to keep it a secret. It is one secret that I should never keep.” At first, I thought they would be angry with me, but after I had explained why I did it.

Dad sighed. “You lied to me and your Mother son, all the time when we had asked you if they knew anything.”

I nodded and said. “Yes sir and I feel bad about it, but even though they knew about it. They had forgiven you like I had because I loved you for making me a part of the family when I had none. To them, it was more important to keep that same secret rather than destroying our relationship. Besides my parents had done worse over the years, so my mother said she had no right to judge you.”

Dad growled. “You still lied to us and it doesn’t make it right.”

Mom growled back reminding him that he had promised if we told him the truth that he would not bring us to task or place us back inside his turn-table. Dad said. “I know Karen what I promised, but doesn’t mean I can’t be angry about it. Now that they know everything that has transpired since he has been our home is now known to everyone that he has been in contact with. Yet like he said no one is going to say a word unless we stupidly repeat our mistakes, and they are now all willing to press charges if I do. If I had known I would have never put him inside that box.”

Mom argued. “That she didn’t have to pry the information from any of us under torture, if only he had listened to her in the first place we wouldn’t be discussing what was said to people that care nothing more than make sure we love our children, not punishing them for telling the truth. That we should be lucky that our sons had guts enough to tell someone at all or if they hadn’t they could have easily of having lost them. Yet instead we were given a warning what not to do, a seconded chance.”

Dad soon dismissed us stating we would be up early wanting to do something as a family. He didn’t say what just that he was sorry for not listening to us and would find a way to make up for it. We all nodded and got ready for bed, Dad reminding us that the basement was off limits. He knew I would never go down there, but hearing it said that he didn’t want any of us near what was taken place down there set a tone that he was more than angry about the situation.

He was about to say something else but changed his mind telling us that he be in to tuck us in. We had gotten away from saying family prayers; mostly it was because he and Mom were having a hard time feeling the spirit in the home. Even more so having the two bad boys locked away as if it was a dirty little secret. Yet didn’t mean we didn’t say or individual prayers as we took turns each night that first week when Shawn had come home.

By morning Mom had breakfast waiting was busy packing coolers; Dad had just arrived rubbing his hands together and said. “Good morning my family,” when the phone rang. I knew the rules of the house, and the rule stated that I was never allowed too answer the phone or use the phone without permission. In fact, I still asked to use the bathroom or to go outside. It may annoy my mother, but when you live in a house with rules that are made to be followed or suffer the punishment, I would rather annoy her.

I had gathered from the phone call that Shawn and Arthur had been assigned a weekly scheduled something that Mom and Dad had forgotten that he had 1,000 hours of community service Dad said.: “Fine, They will be ready within an hour.”  It didn’t matter to the Judge that Arthur hadn’t participated during the rape of Jody or the vandalism he was still responsible for sexually abusing Jared and Jason, retarded, or pushed into it made little differences. He should be lucky that they didn’t put him behind bars or share the same cell with Shawn.

All Mom said. “Change of plans Robert?”

Dad looked at us and the clock stated. “That it was one less headache to worry about. So no dear, are plans are still on,” not giving away to what he had planned. It wasn’t hard to guess as Dad had us grab sleeping bags and place Shane and my tent into Dads new truck he had purchased with some of the money he had gotten from the house insurance.

He had hooked up the new or used horse trailer. Meaning it was bought used, but new to us. Instead of room for two horses, it had room for all four. Dad didn’t waste time in chasing them down; instead, he simply left that job for me. Knowing that the moment the horses saw me they came running to greet me as if I had a treat for them, which I always did as they quickly nosed my shirt smelling the apples. I smiled knowing that it was a secret and it was between me and the horses.

Even my new puppy who I named Sparky liked the idea of what Dad had planned having Dad tell me to make sure I grab the large bag of dog food and five bails of hay for the horses. Leaving the animals to care to me. In that, itself reminded me that these were the only pets I had, yet I never took the responsibility lightly. Making sure and double checked that I had everything they would need.

The large bag of dog food and the five bails of hay said that we would be gone for least a week. It also was obvious that Mom and Dad was taking us camping and trail riding; which meant that we weren’t going to our new spot to go skinny dipping. Yet it didn’t say where we were going or when we were coming back. Mom had cleared out the pantry and the fridge as well as the freezer, by the time I had done what Dad had asked. I was about to ask what else he wanted me to do. When I overheard a conversation, regarding me. I know eavesdropping is bad, but when you hear your name you know it couldn’t be good.

Dad simply said. “Eric unavailable this week and is wanting to spend some quality time as a family to repair the bond between us. I realize that his mother wants him home earlier than scheduled, but right now would not be a good time. Perhaps it would be best if he stayed here until school started and we could work out a couple of visits on the weekends.

"Fine, I will give her one full week before school starts and a one weekend to make up for it later on in the month. Tell her she is lucky that I am allowing that after what he has told me regarding what he has told her and his grandmother and God only knows who else. No, I am not punishing him for telling the truth, I am just disappointed that he hadn’t chosen to confide in us first. Nothing more, good day and we will see you in two weeks."

Dad hung up the phone telling Mom how infuriating she and my mother could be. Mom stating she just wants to see her son, considering she hadn’t seen me since we were in court. Dad nodded stating he’d rather that I didn’t see her or my grandmother until he could fix the rift he had created by placing me inside the turn-table, and how difficult it would be to trust me again.

Mom said “Robert dear, you’re the one that had chosen that method in the first place, and you have been using that horrible device for more years than I care to count. Yet no one has ever found it because of all your precautions. What makes you think just because you used it on Eric that if he said anything they would believe him or find it after all these years? Personally, dear, I would rather you seal it up and destroy it. Making the whole problem go away and I have told you so over the years.”

Silently I quickly backed tracked to the door I had come in and opened it and closed it Yelled “Dad, “ I didn’t want them to know that I had overheard the conversation, besides they were right, no one would believe me without some sort of real proof, and right now I don’t have any or the means of getting any that wouldn’t comprise me with cameras that would show me going down there on my own, providing if that was a possibility.

Dad was right he really didn’t harm me, sure it hurt like hell; but so far I haven’t noticed any lasting side effect, other than a few minor burns and a tingling sensation or more muscle cramps than usual, which could mean anything, like not drinking enough water or lack of vitamins or overworked muscles.

Mom answered, “We are in here son.” Having them pretended that nothing had taken place, while Dad poured ice into the chests that we were ready. I too pretended that I hadn’t overheard the conversation. Dad told me to pack enough clothes for a week and have Jared help me carry the ice chest out to the truck and the rest of our gear. As well as bring in the rest of the ice, having me state he had used the last one. Dad simply stated that we will buy more on our way out, yet still not saying where we were going.

By the time Jared and I were loading the last cooler and made sure we had everything like extra batteries and waterproof matches. The van arrived to pick up Shawn and Arthur. Dad wasted no time handing them over after a quick handshake that looked odd, watching a white envelope being placed inside one of the corrections officers back pocket.

All I heard was. “Yes, Mr. Rothwell I’ll take care of it as agreed if I have to put them in leg irons. You can trust me, sir, they won’t be any trouble or be able to cause any on my watch.” Somehow I knew that Shawn and Arthur were not going to be going on a week filled of fun in the sun. Nor did I care.

Dad said. “I am not worried about if they happen to get lost among the population doing a lazy Suzy on their backsides or come back dented like a rusty can. In fact, make it known who they are and what they are quietly of course.” Dad smiled reached into his wallet and pulled out two bills and placed them inside guy he was talking to the front pocket. I watched the guy solute him and drive off. I had a feeling if social services knew what Dad had just done; he could be in prison for endangering a child. Yet personally I felt that if I had the same connection as he did, I would have done the exact same thing and slept like a baby.