Remnants of Life Part 2

Chapter 87-1

Remnants of Life

Part 2

 

 

Once more the judge banged the gavel stating after he has read and evaluated he will make a decision either too proceed or dismiss the charges, having the Officer in the room tell us all to rise as we watched the Judge leave the room. It seemed that hour dragged on forever, Dad was angry when he said. “Boys when we get home we are going to have a long talk.” It didn’t matter that my caseworker had told Dad that she had promised us that if we told her everything that things we talked about would not come to light. Stating she only had left notes not full statements and if she finds out that he had punished us for telling the truth she would take matters into her own hands. I knew it was more than just a threat, but I also knew Dad and Mom when it comes to hiding things they are really, really good at it. Shane squeezed my hand promising that everything will work out.

When we all took our seats and waited on pins and needles for the results I still had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. It was the same feeling I had when the Judge favored my parent’s over the Downing’s. I pleaded with God, Jeff, and fate too clear us and my foster parents of the charges. The Judge was unreadable when he sat down, but Bishop Crawford seemed pleased and that in itself bothered me. At last the Judge spoke. Stating he had gone over our statements and the evidenced and had made the decisions that we were innocent of charges, however, he feels that in some cases my foster parents have gone too far.

Stating that it is his recommendation that the Rothwell’s will give up their rights as foster parents and will not be allowed to take in any more children, but he will be able to keep and raise the ones he has until they have aged out of the system except for Danny. Yet if he so much as repeats any of the said abuse he will lose not only them but his own children that are still in the home and will sign a waiver in the courts and Social Services.

He also warned my mother that if she or my father ever laid a hand on me. Regardless if my father had not or will sign a document in the courts, she will be just as responsible, and both, not just her will lose their children and spend their days in prison. No longer will the courts sit by or tolerate any kind of child abuse and stating it is not a threat but a promise.

Then he laced his fingers and looked at Danny and Shawn, Said Danny will not be returned to the Rothwell’s but will serve time in prison up to fifteen years for the rape of his brothers or longer depending on the evidence regarding the rape of his sister Jody. That there is no proof that Mr. Rothwell or Shane or family had caused his injuries, but if he finds out that there is he will spend time in jail for it. 

Shawn will spend 3 months in Juive and will seek treatment. Telling him this is his first strike and because he had severed times already and because of the abuses in the home having his father go too far when it comes to punishment. He should be lucky that he is only being dealt a first strike not a second strike, but if he endangers or continues said behavior that first strike will become his second strike. Arthur will be allowed to return as well within two months time, considering he was forced to participate, but will continue to seek help, but if he does participate in the same acts of Shawn again. He will be removed from the home and placed in a mental institution until his 21st birthday.

There was a disturbance in the room regarding the two boys getting off with no more than a slap on the wrist. Even more, so that was on another side of the room stating the boys are innocent of the crimes and have been favored as a criminal from the get-go.

Having their lawyer stand calmly too overrule the fact that Jody is not his sister no longer now that he has been taken out of the home so he is innocent of said charges, that there is no proof on camera to show that it was not co-essential; reading a statement from the two boys that made you want to vomit, Jody was in tears stating it was all lies. She never said or did such a thing. Screaming uncontrollably that she had to be removed or kept quiet

The statement read that she had opened the door when the power went out motioning the two boys to come into the house, quickly unbutton her blouse and her jeans saying. “My parents won’t be home for several hours. That she was hoping that they would be interested in having sex with her” said. “Danny’s downstairs.” Handing them the key to unlock his room and to invite him to participate; licking her lips as she unzipped both their pants and slowly lifted off their shirts. Placing her hands down their pants squeezing their boyhood, stating she likes it hot and ruff.

She quickly told Shawn to disable the cameras in the house in case the power came back on leading the two boys as she placed each of her hands inside their pants to feel each of their butts, then licking her tongue down each of their necks. Ordering both the boys to remove their pants, and ordering Danny too do the same and had him pick up their clothes and follow her out to the field quickly sliding off her jeans and panties.

Dad stood said.” He had heard enough, that it was all lies reaching inside the box pulling out a videotape and another bag with the tranquilizer needle as well as the doctor’s notes regarding Jody’s condition and the rape kit. The room went still as Bishop Crawford face went completely white seeing the tape in his hands. Their lawyer asked where and how he got such a tape when all the cameras were disabled.

Dad smiled as they all waited for an answer as the officer handed it to the Judge he said. “Not all the cameras were disabled and had a battery backup in case of burglar or vandalism of the property that he had installed personally after Shawn, Danny and his friends vandalized the saddles in hopes of causing his son Eric and his injuries that could have killed either of them. There has always been a camera on the front door and hallway, as well as both the back doors in case my foster sons have tried to runway that would trigger an alarm on any of the said doors.”

Once again lawyer tried to throw it out of court stating that these cameras are not part of cameras that courts have seen or had permission to install. Therefore are under the privacy act they should not be allowed in as evidence. The Judge simply said he would be the judge of that but will consider it if it had been tampered with. Asking for a short recess to view said tapes in his chambers, both lawyers and as well as my caseworker asked if they too could view the evidence to prove that either side is guilty or not guilty.

It was granted as we all rise and watched Dad smile as he quickly took his seat next to Jody to wait. Telling her to be brave and hold on just a little bit longer. She was beyond hysterical as Dad took her in his arms. Telling her she is innocent, that we were all innocent.

We all rose when the judge came back into the room as the rest of us took their seats. The Judge had sick look on his face so did our caseworker. She quickly took my hand and waited as the Judge took his time, taking several swallows of water and refilled his glass. Bishop Crawford and their lawyer didn’t look happy; in fact, Bishop Crawford was looking scared. The Judge stated that he has made his decision to allow the evidence in, but will not show the court because of the engross nature that no one in their right minds or parents should wittiness such brutality to their daughters. Yet he is willing to play the sound and describe what had been taken place.

We all wanted to vomit as we heard all the foul language and Jody’s screams as they dragged her out to the field. It was not something I would want to relive, but in fairness to Jody, she was brutally raped by the three boys, even after they tranquilized her. They were delighting in what they had done stating “she is one tight piece of a*s” as they look forward to doing it over and over.

The taped was stopped as he looked at the boys said. “I hereby order you to be placed in Juvenile hall until your 18th birthday and server 30 years for the rape and destruction of the property and pay a fine up 250. 000 dollar for damages and restitution for the crimes committed. I order that it be a second strike placed to all parties including Shawn Rothwell and he will sever 1,000 hours of community services and an additional month for standing by and doing nothing when he could have prevented it. If he so much as steps out of line or repeats any of these crimes it will be a third strike and he will sever prison time until he is 21 or longer.”

Dad and Mom didn’t even look in their direction as they both turned their backs to the boys as they left handcuffed; personally, they should have been hanged for their crimes or castrated or both, but there would never be justices enough for what they had done. Once again the time had come as I hugged Shane one last time knowing I most likely would never see him again. I watched as he hugged Jody and kissed her on her head whispering that he loved her dearly. Unlike last time we weren’t allowed to follow as Shane and his MTC companion was escorted back to the MTC, now that Shane and I were now cleared of all the charges.

My mother and my grandmother hugged me and left several kisses smearing lipstick all over my face. I reached in deep inside myself to where I could tune out the world and my feelings so I could feel numb watching the people I love dearly leave me. I did not cry repeating over and over “I am numb; I am numb,” poking my self with a paper clip that I had found on the floor. It was barely sharp enough, but I was able to poke enough pain to feel numb as the blood slowly went down my arms reaching my fingertips.

Mom turned around watching me and reached back and took it away from me and slapped me for doing it. Even that I felt numb as I traced the lines of blood dripping forcing the blood to keep flowing. Mom quickly hauled me out of the car yelling at me as I ignored the pain as she quickly cleaned me up. Telling me I am not allowed not to feel, if I continue to harm myself she will find punishment so severe that I would never do so again. I smiled and said. “In death, I would feel numb, only death would truly release my pain,” slapping me again telling her to do it again so I can feel nothing. Instead, she tied me to the kitchen chair so she could watch me rather put me in my room knowing I would beat myself until I was numb.

I had no fear of pain; in fact, it was all I could think about. Several times I have spoken to my psychologist, going round and round going nowhere on why I would rather feel numb. Tell my foster parents that he was concerned and suggested that they put a camera in my room and never lock the door and keep me away from razor blades. Giving me an antidepressant hoping to combat the depression I was feeling. Stating its normal for children to feel this way when it comes to grief, that it would take time. Stating I needed a busy lifestyle to keep so busy that I would forget what I was feeling.

He was right of course, Dad increased my chores, and my activities once again. It did help, but I had a problem of pushing myself beyond limits. I still wouldn’t consider in replacing any of the animals that I had lost; even when they got me a dog, hoping that in time I would accept the fact that it was ok to feel.  But I still refused any other pets even go inside the barn other than to bring out hay for the horses. They hoped when school started that too would help. Dad and Mom were careful when it came to punishing me knowing I would encourage them to keep doing it. I knew if it was my father he would, yet if he did my mother would lose everything.

Yet what really helped was hearing from Shane when he would write… it did bring happiness to our now small family, which consisted of three boys and one baby; having Jody remain with Kerry and her husband attending BYU for college credit as well as High School. Even she limited her visits to once a week on Sundays. It was nearly a month when Arthur had returned. Mom and Dad had only left cameras Arthur’s and Shawn’s room as well as the basement at the bottom of the stairs. Every camera had a battery back up. Dad told us where they were when it came to the outside like the barn and the fields and above the outside doors. Hoping to once more make our home safe, but not interfere in our carefree lifestyle.

At first, we were all nervous about the idea of going skinny dipping as a family even more so having our favorite spot ruined. Dad purchased a pool large enough in the backyard hoping to bring back our carefree lifestyle; we would laugh when Dad would run through the house without any clothes on; having him wrestle mine off me like he used to do, or our simply having us walk freely about the house like we used to do using the pool adding a rule that no bathing suits were allowed. Within a month I had stopped grieving with Shane’s letters coming so frequently and was able to sneak in a visit once a week until he was leaving on his mission. It felt good to be myself again and stop worrying that Shawn or Arthur would rape me.

The home was becoming home again and I started to laugh and smile again. The openness we had, had was coming back if not stronger. Even my closes friends and their families were once more in our lives. Dad had found a new spot up Provo Canyon, not as nice as the one we had before, but it made life bearable again as it had been before. Even Jody seemed to improve by leaps and bounds sharing herself and seemed happy. The only time she got moody was when she came home so Dad and Mom made a point to pick her up on the way. Even she had a hard time coming around, but having us share ourselves with her, not in a sexual way made it easy to once more feel love as family.