Life Without Embarrassment Part 2

Chapter 71-1

Life Without Embarrassment

Part 2

 

After the hundredth time of saying Officer Kenly, he had told me and Aaron to call him Tom, in fact, he begged us to and reminded me and Aaron several times that we didn’t need to call him Brother Kenly or Officer Kenly or Mr. Kenly when we were in his home and it was just us and him. I had a right to worry about my mother with my father home. He had beat on her and given her a black eye and fat lip and other nice bruises, and she didn’t want me and Aaron to see it.

Even though Tom felt he should have been put behind bars for beating on his wife. The laws at the time regarding spouse abuses were quite lean it unlike they are now, but Tom had kicked him out of the house and told him not to come back until he could behave himself. I had asked to see my mother anyway; using the excuse that I need to pick up a change of clothes for Aaron and me, and my homework.

I know he didn’t like the idea, but he did drive me home so I could. When I saw my mother and the state she was in I cried in her arms, wanting to kill my father for what he had done. My bedroom door was ruined seeing the hinges bent and tilted against the wall and cracked where he had kicked it in. There was no use fixing it considering we had ordered a new door, and my father wouldn’t be allowed home until long after my visit. I didn’t need much. A clean pair of boxers and pair of shorts for Aaron and me stuffing them inside my backpack, I was still afraid of the basement so Tom gathered them from Aaron’s room and his pillow. I had asked him not to tell my caseworker regarding my father; it wasn’t my mother’s fault that it happened, but he did have the house watched in case my father returned to finish the job.

By the time we got back to his house, it was almost 9:30 and I still hadn’t called my foster parents and my grandmother. I asked Officer Kenly having to remind me to please call him Tom. Saying I didn’t need permission to use the phone, but he understood that I was told to call my foster parents and my grandmother or there would be consequences and there still might after seeing my mother. I called Dad hearing him pick up after the second ring. Telling me, he was just about to call before coming down when the phone rang.

I quickly apologized telling him it was my father's fault and my parents had a huge fight and Aaron and I had been sent to Officer Kenly’s house for the night so my parents could have some “alone time.” He asked to speak to Mr. Kenly and I told him my Dad wanted to talk to him. He said. “No Mr. Rothwell, he hasn’t been harmed and there is no needed to come and get him. The problem has been resolved.” He handed me back the phone so I could tell him I was safe and unharmed and I loved him and missed them. I then called my grandmother and told her the same thing.

While I was on the phone Mrs. Kenly was running a bath Aaron and her son Tony having finished had dried them both of them off and dressed them in clean boxers and running me one, while her husband was taking a shower in their master bedroom. I still didn’t sleep well tossing and turning seeing my mother’s bruises on her face and arms. I kept seeing my father’s angry face over and over as I tossed and turned.

Aaron was sleeping soundly next to me, and finally, I had enough. I opened my typewriter and sat at the kitchen table and worked on my homework. Tom was a light sleeper like me, heard the clicks of the keys and the soft ding of the bell, came into the kitchen said. “Another rough night?”

I nodded and said. “That I seldom sleep well after a bad fight hearing my parents argue, always wondering if they are going to take it out on me.”

He asked if I have the same problem with the Rothwell’s. I nodded that I did, but most of the time my room is sealed shut to prevent me from harming myself when I have a night terror, that like tonight and last night. That sometimes my meds don’t work, even more so when I am keyed up after a bad day.

He left me to my work and fixed us all breakfast by the time his wife came in kissing him good morning said. “I was wondering where my teddy bear went? Rubbing his soft hair on his chest and arms.  Aaron was still sleeping and I let him considering it most likely the best sleep he had gotten in a long time. I only woke him when everyone was sitting down to breakfast. Unlike my mother and father, they shared the cooking duties and not one thing was burnt or health food related.

After breakfast, I continued on with my homework while Aaron and they watched cartoons. I was never much into TV so I kept at my work until my mother called asking how me how my night went. I told her I didn’t sleep well knowing that my father had hurt her because of me. She tried to tell me it wasn’t my fault, but I wasn’t convinced. I told her I was ready to come home, and she asked what I wanted to do today. I said to make things better so my father would have less to complain about and that I missed her more than anything. Even though I knew there was nothing I could ever do to make things better when it concerned my father, but I had too least try.

Soon as I got home I put my stuff away and put on a shirt and jeans and put on my shoes and socks. Made a quick list of things of the chores I could do that needed done. Like mow the lawn and vacuum the floors and mop kitchen and bathroom floors. Scrub the tub and the sink and my least favorite the toilet. Aaron helped Mom with the laundry and helped rake up the yard and take out the trash. He too dressed even though it was quite uncomfortable.

By the time we were done most the morning was gone and part of the afternoon. My sisters hadn’t bothered to help except clean their rooms and I was more than fine with that, I didn’t want to deal with them. I had taken the door outside and removed all the broken hardware. My room looked funny not having a door, but it looked worse having it sit there broken.

Even though it was hot, I stayed dressed, wanting very much too put on some nice comfortable shorts. It was Mom that made me Aaron after seeing the back and the fronts of our shirts soaked with sweat. I told her I was fine and didn’t want to get her in trouble with my father, but she insisted be for we both die of heat stroke.

The moment Aaron and I took off our shirts and handing them to our mother, that’s when my sisters complained about it telling her. “Wait until Daddy finds out.”

Mom said “you can tell your father to go to hell for all I care. Every boy in the neighborhood knows better.” Pointing too several boys on bicycles riding up and down the road without a shirt, making my sisters blush. Only to turn seeing a neighbor's fathers mowing lawns without shirts and their sons working in the yard; Boys and girls running through the sprinklers in bathing suits, frolicking in the hot sun.

Mom wiped her brow telling them when we get back from town we are all going swimming and if their father doesn’t like it that’s tough; telling me and Aaron “don’t you dare put a single piece of clothing on that’s not necessary.” I had to grin watching Aaron strip off the rest of his clothing the second he walked into the house. He was bare a*s naked as he walked in front of them. Wiggly his nice red butt and slapped it, making me and Mom laugh. My sisters were appalled by it if their faces got any redder I would think they were sunburned. But Mom meant what she said, having Aaron and I dressed in our swim trunks and nothing else.

My father was furious when we arrived at the church house with my escort Officer Kenly. Even more so watching him strip off his shirt and shoes and socks right there on the sidewalk. After hearing about his argument with my mother regarding what my father considers what is indecent when came to guys running around barefoot and shirtless. He called home telling his wife that we were going to the pool in two hours and to meet us all down at the church house. Making damn sure they paraded in front of him in nothing but their swimsuits.  I had once again driven Bishop Earl crazy listening to me play the piano, having him to close up shop just to hear me play.

When he heard we were all going to the pool afterward to escape the heat. He invited himself, telling us, he and his wife and his boys and daughter would meet them all at the pool. He invited my father, but he simply flat out declined. He said, “suit yourself, but your missing out a chance to be with your family, and get away from this heat for a while.” He too had removed his shirt and shoes, in front of my father outside on the lawn before getting into his car. After hearing about the argument after noticing Officer Kenly and us in the chapel and growled angrily that there was nothing immoral about anything we had done and felt my father needed a lesson. Even more so seeing the bruising on my mothers face or what he could see that wasn’t concealed by makeup.

I had no doubt that my father was embarrassed when my mothers said. “You should know Jim; I had purchased a new swimsuit and you’re missing out seeing me in it, but I will, like your daughters will be wearing it more often at home and at the pool.” If his face gotten redder it would have been looking at a ripe tomato. Telling her he forbids it, pleading her to reconsider the indecency she allowing into his house. Mom ignored him and got into the car.

Even though my sisters declined the offer, and even though they were ground, Mom made them go. Having them put on their swimsuits, warning them if they didn’t she would have Officer Kenly come in and help her put them on. Both Aaron I knew that he and his family were most likely halfway to the pool, but they didn’t know that. I could tell they were embarrassed, wrapping towels around their stark white shoulders and covering their legs and feet.

Mom simply turned around and took the towels from around them and tossed them inside her and Aaron’s bag along with their shoes and socks after quickly having to remove them. Telling them when they get home that was all the clothing they were allowed to wear, watching them blush and were absolutely horrified by it.

When we got to the pool it was crowded with every kid and their parents, splashing around. Even though it was a large indoor, outdoor pool, it seemed small with everyone in it. Everywhere my sisters looked there were kids wearing fairly modest swimsuits from single pieces like my two sisters, too bikini styles that Jody and Kerry wear around the house when they are laying out in the sun or having a family water fight.

Susan said. “Mamma, if Daddy saw this he would…kill you for exposing us to all this indecency.” doing her best to cover her eyes blushing bright red. Even more so seeing all the boys without shirts and fathers like Mr. Kenly and Bishop Earl and their families walking toward us; finding out these same boys were in her and Becky’s classes. If they could have hidden in the bushes they would have.

Mom shook each of their hands Bishop said. “A fine day for swimming don’t you think Mrs. Shepherd? Too bad your husband didn’t want to come.”

Mom said. “Too bad, and I had just purchased a new swimsuit and wanted his opinion on it,” smiling placing her hand on my shoulder; telling us to find a nice cozy spot while she puts it on.

Susan and Becky said almost at the same time; “Mamma your not? You wouldn’t dare? Oh please reconsider and let’s just go home for you embarrass us even further.”

Mom laughed. “Absolutely not, I can’t wait to dive into that nice cold water,” pushing them both in laughing as they flounder in the water. Having us dive in with a cannonball with the rest of the boys. Watching them spit the water out, gagging on the coroneted water. Trying to get out of the pool, having them hug the sides crossing their chest to cover up as some older boys sneak past them.

Personally, I don’t know what they had to cover up, considering they weren’t showing that much in the first place? When Mom came out they were speechless, even more so watching her toss Aaron and I the ball and slipping into the water groaning on how good it felt. It didn’t matter how many times we asked them to join us they simply hugged the corner of the pool. Asking Mom if we could go home, Mom simply said not a chance and continued playing with Aaron and me.

It was all most dark by the time we got home, having stopped KFC and the drug store. Susan and Becky were mortified after a long day at the pool. I doubted that they would ever stop blushing. Mom was quite pleased with herself was true to her word, by making them stay in their swimsuits, right up until bedtime. Even went as far as having a picnic out on the front lawn so everyone could see us.

Every time they tried to cover up she remove the towels making them sit on the front porch with the light on so the whole neighborhood could see them and weren’t allowed in until it was time for bed; telling them to get used to it that after church and after school on warm and hot days that was all they were allowed to wear. They were also sunburned.

I still tossed and turned most of the night, and was wondering how Aaron could sleep so peacefully when I moved around so much trying to get comfortable. Every time I closed my eyes I saw my father’s angry face, beating on me and my mother. By the time I did fall asleep. The sun was shining through the window. Today I was going home and for the first time, I wasn’t looking forward to it. I am not saying I don’t miss the Rothwell’s; in fact, I missed them a lot. It’s just that my mother and I for the first time have become close and I didn’t like leaving knowing Aaron and she could be harmed.

Yet postponing it would never solve the problem, knowing perfectly well I am not wanted here, by my sisters or my father. Like me, Officer Kenly had given Aaron a key to his home whenever my father tried to take his anger out on him or my mother, but it still didn’t make me feel any better.

By the time Mom and my sisters got out of bed and got ready for church after a quick bowl of cold cereal. I packed my things and made my self ready for church. I had made up my mind by the time we left the pool to take the offer of playing my recital piece for the ward. Not knowing if my mother and brother would come to see me perform it when it really counted, also I had strong doubts that my father would let them and forbid them to come.

It didn’t matter those famous men played the piano and made a very good living performing across the United States and other countries across the globe. He considered them sissy, as well as gymnastics and swimming. Telling my mother they were both immoral and only gay men and boys participated in them and should be disbanded because of it.

Mom offered to iron my shirt and my slacks so I would look extra nice, but I had chosen to do it myself, mostly because it gave my fingers something to do besides shake with fear, knowing I was about to play for the biggest audience that I have ever played for. I knew my father would be there and I knew he wouldn’t be pleased, then again I didn’t care if he was or not. I was doing it for Mom and my brother as if I was saying goodbye and wanted something to remember me by.  It hurt deep inside, watching the clock tic down to the final hour when it was time we parted ways. Saying goodbye to my brother was going to be the hardest thing I had ever done and it was already tarring me apart. I did my best not to cry in front of him or my mother.

I began hating the clock as the hand's tick closer to that final hour. It was like a giant bong ring in my head after each advent had taking place like a checklist. Take my seat with the boys to bless the sacrament, bong, check. Say the blessing, bong check. Wait for my turn after the first speaker, bong, and check. Walk to the piano and not look at the audience, breath and concentrate on the music, bong, and check. Wait for the clapping then realized there was none. Walk the distance to my seat next to my mother and my brother, bong check. Try not to cry feeling her arm on your shoulders, bong check. Write without shaking seeing the teardrops smear the page as try you to take notes, bong check. Shake hands with people you don’t know as they congratulate you for all your hard work, bong check.

Yes I hated the clock today, I hated knowing every time the hour and seconds passed, the closer you were getting to when you had to say goodbye. I know I should be proud that I have done good and did it almost perfectly, but I wasn’t. The fact I had made it to the Bishops office where my Sunday class and priesthood class was held without a single episode, I wasn’t even a little bit proud. The hour was still approaching, closer and closer, and there wasn’t one thing I could do to stop it.

I didn’t think it could get any worse when my father greeted us outside on the sidewalk telling me. “Good reddens sissy boy. Tell those immoral hillbillies to beat you every day and don’t you dare come back or I will kill you and your f*g-it brother, with my bare hands.” Without warning he slapped me across the face ripped my shirt wide open, popping off several buttons and walked way seeing his Bishop and Officer Kenly running down the sidewalk. I could feel the blood dripping down my chest and soaking my shirt. Mom was in shock watching her world fall apart around her.

I knew I should have turned the other cheek, but the anger inside of me wouldn’t be denied. I took off my shoes and threw them at my father, hitting him in the back of the head. Watching him turn around and growl at me as he took off his belt and lunged for me, but I was quicker. Letting it wrap around my left arm and with my right fist punched him in the noses, feeling the bone shatter and said. “Don’t you ever touch me and my mother ever again!” Knee’ed him hard in the groin, watching him fall to his knees, blood spewing down his face as he grabbed his private parts. I knew it hurt seeing his eyes tear up from the pain. I would have punched him again if I could have, but Officer Kenly was standing in my way.

No one said a word to me or my father, but I knew I had just made the front page when it came to gossip. My clean white shirt was ruined, feeling my mother take it off me and use it to stop the blood from my noses. My sisters were the only ones that seemed to care, about my father, but Mom yelled to them to get in the car, picking up my shoes off the grass. I watched as they gathered around my father talking among themselves, hearing Bishop Earl tell them. “Nothing to see here folks, just go about your business.” Officer Kenly manhandling my father away from the public eye, I knew whatever he was telling him the words weren’t pleasant.

My father’s last words were. “I’ll kill him, you hear me sissy boy you're dead.”