Repetition part 2

Chapter 68-1

Repetition

Part 2

 

 

I was glad that Mom had left my sisters home, more so after today, but it did make me warm and fuzzy inside; thinking of all the boy eye candy, when it came to us boys running around the Rothwell home without a stitch on more times than not. Like most parents, Mom could careless. I thought she’d would blush or turned her eyes away when my foster parents made Shawn, Arthur and Danny strip right in front of us. Yet Mom didn’t, instead, she treated it as if she was just giving her own sons a bath and we had nothing to be embarrassed about.

Considering she was our mother and seen our bodies enough times growing up that was really was no big deal. It didn’t bother her having even my sister Jody present or the fact she and Shane had given both me and Aaron a bath out of sisterly love. I could guarantee that both Susan a Becky wouldn’t have taken it as such and would be beyond embarrassed or made fun of us or wanted no part of being our sisters instead of hating the very sight of us.

Even though growing up I have spent time in the tub with Susan and possibly Becky when I was no older than a toddler or under the age of 13 or the fact Mom herself had let us run around the house without any of us having a stitch on. Grandma has shown me and Aaron pictures confirming it.

Yet Mom knew that Jody loved me as one of her brothers, and knew it didn’t bother me having my older sister showing me such affection, knowing she had shown the same affection to her own brothers. She was good with that and took it as nothing more as sisterly love. Watching her hug me and kiss every inch of me. Seen pictures showing her and her older sister Kerry sleeping in the same bed with her arms around me. To me and Mom they were as much as my sisters as Susan and Becky are. I was loved and that was all that really mattered.

I had gotten up the courage to ask my mother why the change when came to her ideas of immodest behavior? Mom squeezed my hand and leaned over so she could rub my shoulders and back finding a tickle spot I didn’t know I had.

She simply stated it was my Grandmother and Bishop Earl that made her see the light that there was nothing wrong in what she and God had made, that she should be proud of the fact he allowed us to be born in her and my fathers likeness, and there wasn’t a single bad gene that should make her ashamed of Aaron and me.

That she had learned what immoral behavior was and that when came to family modesty there was nothing immoral or immodest about it stating there is nothing we had to be embarrassed about or ashamed of when it just life in the purest form.

Everywhere I looked, there were boys wearing nothing but swim trunks like mine. That showed enough of an outline what’s underneath our shorts. I could see the blushes on my sister’s face looking at all the boy eye candy. My foster Mom had introduced my mother and Aaron to my gymnastics coach and went as far as letting Aaron participate with the smaller boys learning how to tumble and doing flips on a very large trampoline.

Hoping to encourage my mother to enroll Aaron in the sport, Mom made no promises but accepted a pamphlet and the name of a coach near our home in Santaquin. If you call Spanish Fork close, being 25 miles away as the crow flies, but it was closer then American Fork High School. She even said they had a pool, I could see Aaron’s eyes light up when she said it begging her to sign him up. Once again Mom made no promises just said she’d check into it.

Mom took her spot sitting next to my foster Mom taking out her camera. Mom had purchased several more rolls of film when we stopped at the drug store before we left home.  Mom (Rothwell) took out some needlepoint to pass the time. Practice can be quite boring once you had seen the same tricks over and over.

I knew Mom would lose interest in it after a while and once she had taken enough pictures of me Aaron she too would pull out some needlepoint. I had made her bring it stressing that other mothers seldom stay long enough to drop us off and come back when it’s over.

When my three best friends arrived I introduced them to my mother and my brother, Mom noticing the same tan as mine, she didn’t have to wonder if they to spent as much time in clothes as I did or my Rothwell brothers. Running laps is one thing, but earning punishment in the hothouse was quite another.

Mom had asked regarding it earlier on our way here. I shook my head no and said that’s where Dad drew the line. Giving her promises that when it came to friends, my foster parents didn’t extend the same courtesy, but running laps, but when it came to water fights or sunbathing and skinny dipping was a whole different thing.

Mom couldn’t help laugh when Bishop Lanwall told her how I had started a new tradition in church because of my injuries. That shirts and shoes became optional; I had let her read his talk on God Doesn’t Care from my journal. At first, she didn’t believe me that anyone would allow that, even more so in church on Sunday, but hearing comes from his own lips that it did happen. Made her weep hearing how my friends and the ward rallied around me, she couldn’t have been more impressed with him and why he was more than just my Bishop.

Yet it saddens her missing another moment of my life, making the same promises that from now on she wasn’t about to lose another moment. Time will tell if she keeps that promise. Mom had to admit that watching the same tricks over and over can be quite boring, but she never let on just picked up her needlepoint and joined the other mothers that stayed behind to watch their children practice. Aaron was having the time of his life, even more learning how to flip on the trampoline; telling Mom that we needed one of these at home.

Yet when came to swimming there was no way she was going to put on a bathing suit. Even if they found one in her size it wasn’t going to happen, but it didn’t stop her from sticking her feet in the water groaning how good it felt. Mom (Rothwell) didn’t hesitate to slip into her bathing suit, doing her best trying to coax my mother into one. Telling her nobody going to care, Mom simply declined said maybe next time. After the tenth try, but I know she was thinking about it seeing other mothers her size joining their children in the water, but for now, she was content just soaking her feet.

I knew she was doing her best to get over the fact that my father had convinced her that God considers this a sin, but the words echoed her mind according to every religion, every scripture reference that it wasn’t. God wasn’t ashamed of their bodies, we are. Plus she was not one of those skinny models and was afraid of how her family and the world saw her.

My foster mom loved playing with us in the water, she was just as much as a kid than the rest of us when came to playing tag or diving games or tossing the ball. I could see it hurt my mother, watching her bond with me and my brother Aaron. I could see the hurt in her eyes. If she could have she would have choked her with her bare hands, but it was her own selfish pride that was holding her back. And the fact she wasn’t as pretty as the other mothers made her wallow in self-pity.

I hated to see her sad so I climb out of the pool sat next to her. I reached over hugged her then kissed her cheek and told her I loved her. That to me beneath all that weight she was pure perfection. I told her Aaron and I didn’t care what she looked like on the outside, she was still beautiful as any mother we had ever known. I kissed her cheek said, “I love you Mom lets go find you bathing suit and make my father eat his words.”

I told my foster mother I would be back and took my mother's hand and walked her to the front counter and said. “Ma’am I would like to rent my beautiful mother a swimsuit.”  I knew the lady and I knew she would never make fun of any mother that wanted to spend time with her children. In fact, she herself was just as large and I had seen her and her boys in the pool many times.

Mom asked, “are you sure you want to see me in this.”

I kissed her on the cheek said “absolutely, you’re my mother why wouldn’t I.” and hugged her. Mom took out some money and lady declined said “no charge.” Showing her the brochure that all parents and family with children participating in said events; Swimming, Gymnastics, Boxing, Karate, Wrestling, and Basketball. didn't have to pay for rental.

I said, “race you back to the pool.”

Mom wasted no time as I simply waited for her to come out. When she did I hugged her and quickly dived in with a cannonball. Mom quickly made her way to the pool and slowly slipped into the water groaning how good it felt. My foster Mom nodded her approval and the games were on. We played until it was time to go giving my younger foster brothers and mother a hug goodbye. Mom (Rothwell) reminding her breakfast at 8:30. Kissing my cheek as I told her I loved her, having her say it back with several more kisses.

Even though I would see her tomorrow, it still broke my heart watching them leave me behind. I hugged my brother close to me. Mom made two final stops on the way home; one to purchase four swimsuits, two for her and two for Aaron and another large gym bag for her and my brother. The second stop was for pizza, and ice cold pop. By the time we walked in the door, Officer Kenly was sitting on the couch watching TV with my father and my sisters. My father growled at us saying “it took you long enough.” Mom ignored him telling me and Aaron to go to my room; setting the pizza and our purchases on the table.

I could hear them yelling back and forth and I simply closed the door, and help Aaron get ready for bed.  I heard the front door close and waited for the monster to enter the room. Aaron was already under the bed, neither of us trusted my father. I was ready to strike, bending my knees getting into fighter stance. Mom knocked on the door telling us my father was gone. I breathed a sigh of relief watching the door open, seeing only her opening the door slowly. I waited for Officer Kenly to come back; Mom said she sent him home for the night. I nodded asked if I could use the phone to call grandma. Mom didn’t tell me I didn’t need to ask, she just simply gave me permission.

Grandma was relieved hearing my voice and told her about my day. She only asked one question, was I hurt in any way? I said I couldn’t have been in better hands. Mom smiled and kissed my cheek I watched my sisters scowl at me. Having Mom show me such affection, we ignored them and Aaron I grabbed several slices of pizza and two cans of orange soda. I flipped on the TV finding a game asking him what team he liked, having him curl up with me on the coach. My sisters growled angrily and Mom swatted them on the bottom sent them to their rooms.

Aaron was out like a light with soda and pizza all over his face. I picked him up and carried him to bed. Mom washed his hands and face, while I brushed my teeth and took my meds. She kissed us goodnight and turned out the light I said: “love you, Mom,” and fell asleep with my brother in my arms. Not once did either of us have a nightmare. Aaron was still sleeping soundly when I rose the following morning. I had always liked the quiet of a house when everyone was sleeping, finding it to be the best time to work.

Mom yawed and kissed me on the head and draped her arms down my bare chest. Telling me she could get used to this, she liked having me home all to herself. I still didn’t say anything; I didn’t want to shatter her dream. I kept working on my homework watching her fix a hot breakfast of instant oatmeal for my sisters, burning it slightly. Aaron screamed finding me not there and ran down the hallway in a panic. I knew it was going to hurt when the home visit was over having to hug him close to me; earning another growl from my sisters.

I ignored them they weren’t a threat to me and weren’t all that important. I had a family that I loved and two mothers that thought the world of me. If Susan, Becky and my father wanted nothing to do with me; I wanted nothing to do with them either. I had all the love I needed as I reached up and kissed my mother. Telling her I loved her asking permission to climb into the tub. Aaron quickly slipped off his boxers said, “the first one has to do their back”

My sisters gasped seeing Aaron’s sunburned backside and gasped even louder seeing mine. Mom giggled picked up our boxers off the floor. Susan and Becky were shocked watching our backside disappear around the corner. All Mom said, “oh give them break it's not like you haven’t seen your brothers naked before.”

Susan gasped and said. “But Mamma, you really you’re going to allow that, Daddy wouldn’t if he was here.”

Mom laughed watching them blush and said. “And if he was, so what get used to it.”

Officer Kenly didn’t come over he just simply called. Mom told him over the phone we would be back late, giving permission to my father to spend time with his daughters after school and they could fend for themselves for supper. We had left before they were ready for school, simply dressed in our boxers; Mom adding several pairs of shorts, and their new swimsuits, stuffing in a few towels for after the pool. Mom asked the girls one last time if they rather spend the day with us then go to school. Like always they declined the offer.

Susan said. “We rather spend time with filthy rats than with you and a bunch of no good indecent hillbillies.”

Mom said. “Suit yourself, I rather spend time with my sons and Hillbillies than you and you’re no good father and you can tell him I said that.” And quickly drove out of our driveway.

My foster Mom was quite pleased seeing us arrived, watching Mom remove her shoes at the door. She had chosen to go barefoot than ruin a good pair of nylons and a pair of socks. She smiled at my foster Dad and my brothers at the table dressed only in their boxers as if it was perfectly normal adding her sons to complete the picture. Dad had decided to keep everyone home from school today simply said they all had the flu.

Mom said she had heard it was catching and took a seat at the table. Arthur, Danny, and Shawn were out running laps, having passed them on the way over. Jared was busy scrubbing the family room walls, Mom didn’t say a word to the fact he was doing them in the nude. She knew my foster parents didn’t tolerate lying. It was harsh punishment, but neither did it bother her, there were worst punishments he could have had, she had them memorized in her mind and had seen and felt the scars on my back as proof.

Mom (Rothwell) told Jared to come to sit at the table now that breakfast was ready. He took his seat sitting gingerly, grimacing from a very tender bottom sitting next to Jody. Dad took hands and said the payer and we all dived into a hot breakfast of whole wheat banana pancakes and homemade maple syrup, with freshly squeezed orange juice. The fact they were whole wheat didn’t stop Aaron and I or my brothers from making them quickly disappear.  13 pancakes were my limit patting a very full belly.

Dad asked Aaron if he would be interested in help feeding the animals on our very small farm and perhaps later the four of us could go horseback riding. Mom asked if that was such a great idea after yesterday. He simply said the best thing to do after falling off a horse is to get back on. Stating he had repaired all the saddles with new leather straps last night. Aaron begging Mom to let him, Mom said “alright you can go. Since Mr. Rothwell and your brother were going, havens forbid me from stopping you.”

Aaron quickly gave her hug saying “I love you Mom, you’re the best.” Mom returned the hug telling him to finish his breakfast.

Mom helped Jody and my foster Mom with the dishes watching Jarred continue on with the household chores. Aaron and Jason sat at the table doing homework, while I practiced the piano waiting for my teacher.

Homework was always done first before play time. Mom had never enforced this rule until seeing how effective it was seeing me doing mine without ever being told. Hoping to instill at home with Aaron and my sisters  I knew they weren’t going to like it, even more so seeing more than they want to of Aaron and me, but that was just tough. Rules were meant to be broken. Mom had made me and her Bishop a promise to find a way to bring her family closer together. Susan and Becky were just going to have to drop their attitudes or suffer the wrath of Mom. It was my father that neither of us knew what to do about.

Last night was the first time I had ever heard Mom pray asking God to help her find a way to heal her family, asking forgiveness for all the atrocities she had done to her sons. Praying to soften my father’s heart and give her the strength to do what’s necessary. I too prayed for him to give me strength to trust my mother and even though I prayed for my father to soften his heart.

I knew deep down that was never going to happen. I had asked Mom before we went to bed last night if she wanted to pray together as a family as the Rothwell’s do? But she told me to give her time, she needed to find her way back first. I told her I was a good listener if she ever wanted to talk I would be more then willing to listen to her.

Mom hugged me tight against her said: “I am so glad that you are home.” I still didn’t repeat it back and I knew the longer I didn’t the more it hurt her, but for now, I couldn’t give her what she wanted. I trusted her, but not enough when came to my father. I was doing my best not to run down that street and never look back. It was one nightmare I wasn’t ready to face, like Mom I needed time. I prayed that I would have it. Something inside of me told me I wouldn’t.