Winning Isn't Everything Part 2

Chapter 67-1

Winning Isn’t Everything.

Part 2

 

After a healthy lunch of grilled cheese on whole wheat bread and homemade tomato soup and ice cold lemonade, least not forget my favorite double chocolate cookies. It was off to have some fun. I had promised Aaron a ride on my horse and I planned on keeping it. Like always I asked Dad for permission, sometimes he helps me with the saddle because it was really heavy and the fact that I was giving my brother a chance to ride up and down the field with me. Dad wanted to make sure it was safe and secure.

My mother warned me to be careful; my foster parent's simply reminded her that I was a very experienced rider. Not a hobbyist, in fact, they were thinking about entering me the horse torment in the summer. Long distant jumping and barrel racing and maybe bull racing were I would rope small steers or pigs for the best time. So a simple ride up and the field was nothing and were completely safe for me and my brother.

Dad helped Aaron up, taking his seat in front of me. Mom would have required me him to least wear our sneakers. Like a worry wart, she covered him in suntan lotion to prevent sunburn. Dad stopped her taking it out of her hand and tossed into the garbage.

Told her I and my brothers have run naked enough times up and down this field, telling her to stop worrying about it. He knew my mother knew about it, how can she not after seeing my very tan back side that matched the front and the back of my body seamlessly, and seen my foster brother's backsides just as tan as mine. Like I said Aaron skin was ghost white compared to me and my brothers, but it didn’t stop her from worrying.

Dad brought out a soft chair from the dining room and offered it to her and went back to his work. I told Aaron to hold on, taking the reins and started off with slow gallop. Having him laugh and stepped it up into a run, letting the wind blow through our hair. Up and around we went around the field, Aaron waving to Mom every time we passed her. Aaron was having the time of his life while I held him tight against me. Keeping him safe in the saddle; I could feel the warm sun on my bare back and made him feel free.

I felt absolutely giddy and excited sharing a moment with my brother. Up and Down we went at varying speeds of a train rider. We had almost reached the top of the field after our 8th cycle when the girth snapped under the horse. I could feel the saddle slipping, but at the speed, we were going it would be impossible to stop without harming the horse. By instinct, I grabbed Aaron by the waist and did my best to slow the horse, but it wasn’t enough. I took a deep breath and told him to scream real aloud, hoping it would distract him long enough as we fell to the ground. It was the only warning I dared give him. I had fallen many times and from experience taking a deep breath was not the answer. I knew the second we hit the ground we would lose our breath.

I grabbed Aaron around the waist with both hands and jumped at the same time the saddle slipped off the horse. Making sure our feet wouldn’t get caught in the straps. Trust me you don’t want that happen. He screamed all the way down while I forced him and me to roll away from the saddle and the horse. The first bump would be a doozy. I landed on my back with Aaron on top of me. It was aloud ump and spun Aaron into a practice roll, letting me take the biggest hit; watching him roll safely away from unharmed.

My body screamed as the air left my lungs, but we were alive and that’s all it mattered. I watched as the horse kicked the rest of the saddle and blanket, he too was alright just scared. I gave me a minute listening to Aaron scream from the terror of falling off his first horse. I knew when he realized he was fine he would stop and begin laughing. He was more concerned about me then himself seeing my eyes closed. When I groaned and rolled over on my side we both started laughing.

I stumbled to my feet and helped him up. We laughed even harder seeing we were covered in mud and fresh horse manure. It did bother us that our shorts were ruined having them split down the middle. It was safe to say neither of us was wearing boxers, considering we had planned to go to the pool after gymnastics. I simply took them off instead of letting the fall off and trip me. Aaron laughed even harder and did the same after I pointed to large tear in the thin material showing him his pink bare butt. I guess we should have worn a pair of old jeans that had been turned into shorts to give them more life.

Dad was running towards me, I told Aaron to wait there why I picked up the saddle and the horse blanket. Both my mothers were right behind Dad. Aaron was grinning from ear to ear when everyone reached us. My mother quickly checked Aaron from top to bottom was absolutely terrified. The fact that we standing in field naked covered from head to toe in mud and horse manure hadn’t hit her yet. I watched her hug him tight, then started yelling at Dad. “You said it was perfectly safe and I trusted you.”

I stopped her telling her “it wasn’t his fault,” showing Dad the saddle as we both looked at the belt where it snapped. Dad cussed using words I had never heard come out of his mouth, seeing the slice on the other side of the girth belt. It had been deliberately cut, not worn, but cut on purpose.

He was more than furious seeing the anger in his eyes, somebody was going to catch hell and I didn’t want to be in their shoes when he finds out who did it. Mom blushed when she finally realized that both her sons were naked as the day they were born standing in the field. Then she grinned having it turn into a giggle and then to a laugh bring her to her knees. My foster parents and I were in shocked as to why she was laughing, but laughing some time’s borders on crazy and can be infectious. But Dad was too angry to laugh and so was my foster Mom, boys running around naked was no big deal to them.

Dad picked up the saddle and put it over his shoulder. I placed my arms around Aaron’s shoulders and followed my foster parents, leaving my mother to her giggling, crazy laughter while she followed our nicely exposed butts back to the house. Mom (Rothwell) wasn’t about to let anyone in the house with dirty feet specially covered in manure, telling me to clean ourselves off with the hose. Jared and Jason love water fights the second I turned on the hose to clean me and Aaron up. The temptations was too great, normally Mom would tell them to put on their swimsuits, but she knew her boys and simply picked up their boxers and let them have at it. Aaron was just much as a kid as they were.

Mom slipped off her ruined socks and grabbed the hoses and squirted all of us; until Dad called for me, he was very angry, so not obeying him was not an option. I ran to where he was calling from; stopped right in front of our saddles lying on the ground in front of us.

He pointed to each strap. All of them had been sabotaged, in several places. It wouldn’t have mattered what saddle we would have picked, the accident would have happened. I was more than lucky that I had chosen to ride in the field today, instead of the open road or abandon trail. Where I and Aaron could have been easily hurt and would have been hours before anyone would think to look for us.

Dad picked up one of the saddles and tossed it as I watched hit the wooden fence. Dad called Jared over telling him to get over here now. Dad pointed to the second saddle made him pick it up and look at it. I could see the fear in his eyes. He knew the person or persons who were responsible. Dad asked him “who did this boy? Or do I have to beat the living tar out of you, before you tell me?”

Jared was more than scared as he stuttered, “Shawn, Danny and Shawn’s friends.” Dad was quiet and when that happened you might as well be prepared to pray that he didn’t kill you.

The next question came out in a hard growl. Like lightning, he grabbed him hard by both arms and raised him off his feet and shook him really hard. Bring him face to face and asked. “Why didn’t did you tell me, boy, someone could have been killed today, understand that, killed?”

Jared was hysterical and in complete terror, in so much he pee’ ed all over Dad. Dad set him down and calmed himself, apparently being pee’ ed on didn’t bother him. I myself was having a hard time controlling it. Quickly crossed my legs and doing the best to hold it in.

Dad was still waiting for an answer. By that time both my mothers were there standing there in shock and awe seeing the urine running down Dads bare chest. Mom quickly put her arms around me holding me close. Dad bent down and picked up one of the saddled by the belt. Showing them that every saddle had been sabotaged; Mom (Rothwell) gasped looked at both me and Jared. Dad growled Shawn, Danny’s and their friend’s name. Both of my mothers nodded their heads realizing what could have happened.

Dad was still waiting for an answer, Jared was shaking with fear. If he hadn’t already emptied his balder he would have now as all eyes were on him. He stuttered saying “they would beat the crap out of him if he said one word or worse.”

Dad and I both knew what the worse was and so did my foster Mom. It had to do something with sexual abuse. Something Dad and she had been trying to keep behind locked doors. Dad told him to go to his room and don’t come out until he has told him too. I knew Dad, and I knew his punishments well. If it wasn’t for my brother Aaron or my Mother he would have dealt it out faster then you could say “time to die.”

All the fun seemed to stop as both my mothers reached Aaron and Jason sitting on the lawn wondering what was going on; well Aaron was Jason was practically shaking from fear after seeing his brother dive into the house crying.

I helped Aaron off the ground and hugged him. Telling him there was nothing to worry about, asking if he would like a nice hot shower or a bath with his favorite big brother. I knew that would bring a smile to his face, he had chosen a bath. My foster Mom rubbed his wet hair telling me to make sure we scrubbed ourselves really good.

Clothing was no big deal to Mom (Rothwell,) and could be easily replaced. Aaron was about the same size as Jared and loaned him a pair of boxers and a pair of swim trunks. My mother cleaned the dirt off her feet and tossed her socks into the trash, before coming in the house. Dad climbed into the shower while Aaron and I were taking a much-needed bath. Even though we didn’t need help, Mom was more than happy to be of service. Mostly she wanted to make sure we were both alright.

Mom thanked my foster Mom for clothing for Aaron, she simply said: “I can’t have my boys run around naked all the time, regardless of how cute their butts are.” Mom grinned, watching her leave to give us our privacy when we were done and dressed in clean boxers and shorts she sent us on our way. Jason too was dressed in a clean pair of shorts and invited Aaron to join him on the trampoline. When I looked towards the field I could see Dad taking up his post and Jared was running laps. My mother didn’t say anything as she observed everything from her chair out on the back lawn.

We still had three hours before we had to be at Gymnastic practices, I didn’t want to get dirty and Aaron was having the time of his life and had made another new friend. I had finished most of my homework for today and Dad would give it to my school adviser to hand it back to my teachers. So I asked my foster Mom if it was alright if I went for a walk with my Mother.

She said that would be an excellent idea. I felt bad that Mom had ruined her socks because of me. So I quickly went to my room and grabbed a pair of mine. Went out and asked her if she would like to take a walk with me, handing her a pair of my socks and her shoes. Unlike me, she wasn’t used to going barefoot. She hugged me quickly put them on and took my hand.

When we got some distance from the house I told her I was ready to have that conversation, and Mom asked “what conversation?”

I said “regarding something personal. Something I haven’t told a living soul.”

She quickly hugged me asked, “Are sure you trust me?”

I said “Yes Mom, I actually do” I began with Jeff’s death and stop and looked into her eyes seeing tears. I knew she believed me. So I continued on and when I got to the part where Dad had whipped me twice with the cattail. She made me stop so she could see my back. Her fingers shook as she touched the fading scars. I knew she was angry, but I remind her she and my father had done worse.

Mom's voice quivered said. “For the last two years she had regretted that mistake,” I told her I had already forgiven her for it. And would continue to as long she kept her promises to be my mother and not my abuser. She promised me again she would, as I wiped her eyes and reached up and kissed her cheek. And I continued on describing every detail of my near-death experiences, the turning point of mine and Rothwell’s life when they to actually begin to be my parents.

We both had tears in our eyes taking a seat on the grass under a shade tree on Bishop Lanwall’s lawn. I knew he would be home soon and I really wanted her to meet him. Plus I wanted to ask him point blank question regarding the power that my parent’s Bishop had over me. And I wanted to keep it between me and my mother. I had just finished describing the feeling I felt when Jeff held me in his arms and what I saw when he pulled up into his driveway. He quickly came to my side and embraced me. I introduced him to my mother having her shake his hand. He invited us inside.

I took a seat accepting an orange soda and handed another to my mother. I had told my mother that he knows everything that she and my father had done to me. Bishop Lanwall nodded said. “He has and I am not sure why you’re here with him Mrs. Shepherd. But I warn you I am no longer under any obligation to keep what I know private when it comes to child abuse. I won’t tolerate it.”

I quickly said. “My mother has repented of her sins to her own family Bishop and is willing to suffer the consequences in the eyes of the law if she breaks that trust, my father hasn’t and we seriously doubt that he ever will.”

Bishop Lanwall didn’t beat around the bush asking me what brought me here today instead of seeing my new Bishop. I said. “Trust, something tells me not to trust him.” Then I came to my point. Describing the feeling and what I had seen several times when he was my Bishop, and what I don’t feel and see with my Bishop. Then began to describe in great detail what happens when I am in the presence of my mother’s Bishop.

He didn’t think I was crazy; instead, he drew his chair close to us. Asking me to look into his eyes while I took his hand, at first I didn’t see anything or feel anything, but the longer I looked and concentrated. It was still there, not as strong and not as bright, but it was still there beneath the surface. When he let go it vanished. I soon learned that Jeff had found new away to communicate with me without out actually being there. The feeling I felt was his spirit guiding me and was strengthen me to help me overcome my fears. It was up to me to learn how to find that spirit inside me using that same connection.

The draining feeling was heeling me and with time and with an effort I would be able to use it. Right now I was empty well and Jeff was filling it. I also had a bad feeling that once I had control of it. Bad things were going to happen; more worse than a hothouse, worse than running laps, worse than being whipped with a cattail whip; worse than fearing basements and my father. Something was going to happen and it was coming fast and there was no way I could stop it.

Mom sat quietly watching me and he nodded when I had worked it out, I had my answer and I didn’t like it. I saw her shiver seeing the goosebumps on her arms. I finished my soda and stood to shake his hand, he pulled out a card telling me to call him anytime day or night and handed another to my mother. Giving her one last warning said. “It has taken great courage, Mrs. Shepherd, to fix your mistakes in hopes of repairing your family. I suggest, no. I strongly suggest that you spend time asking God what he would like you to do to make up for what you have lost. I also advise you to keep your sons closes to you whenever your husband is around. Pray daily, pray nightly as a family and God will strengthen you.”

Mom took his hand and looked him the eye and said: “she intends to.” I knew from that moment on that Mom would do her best to do what was necessary to keep that promise and build that trust even if it takes her entire lifetime. She was going to do it. I said goodbye giving one last hug and walked my mother home. I stopped at on the side of the road near the house, and reached up and kissed her cheek and said. “I love you, Mom. Please don’t make me regret in trusting you. I would hate to see you in jail and my brother put in the system.”

I knew I shook her when I said it because it took her a minute to register it. When she did she hugged me tight telling me “I love you too son and I will fight zombies to keep you and your bother safe.”