Roses part 1

Chapter 66

Roses

Part 1

Have you ever noticed that Monday sets the tone for the rest of the week? I have, today started out like any other day, well not for me considering where I was and who I was with. Mom was never much of a cook and breakfast was one of the things she sucked at. Mrs. Rothwell always made sure we had a hot breakfast to start our day. Mom simply placed several different kinds of cold cereal on the table, like Lucky Charms or Frosted Flakes. I could just imagine Mrs. Rothwell face seeing me dump cold cereal into a bowl. It was a rarity if Mom gave us toast with lots of butter and I can guarantee that it wasn’t whole grain wheat bread.

The good thing about today was I was feeling refreshed and full of energy unlike the day before, when the Bishop drained me like a vampire, sucking the life out of me. I was absolutely starving even after eating three bowls of cold cereal and 6 pieces of toast, drinking several glasses of milk and orange juice that morning.

My mind was still fuzzy every time I tried to think about what took place the day before; it was as if someone was blocking my memory. Mom just grinned like it wasn’t a big deal, but too me it was. I apologized after my fourth bowl and two more pieces of toast. For eating her out of house and home. Mom simply said I was a growing boy and if I was hungry it was her job to feed me.

Susan and Becky had gone to school not having the same holidays as me, considering we weren’t in the same school district. Mom kept Aaron home so he could spend more time with me, calling the school and telling them he had the flu and could be out the rest of the week. Not everyone was on the block schedule, for now, it was only in a couple of districts on a trial base. So far according to the news, all schools will be changing over to it within the next year or so.  I am not saying I didn’t feel bad for my sisters having to go to school. On the contrary, I was praising God that it was one less day I have to spend time with them.

Mom sat down at the table with a notepad to write down everything she and I needed to accomplish. To make sure I didn’t miss anything important, considering she had promised me and Dad that I would be there for my swim team and other events because to me it was a very big deal. Not once did she complain that I had very busy after school schedule, a deal was a deal. Personally, she didn’t want to let me down and show me she truly could be a good mother, but right now she and I had more important things to do, like really making my room mine.

I had chosen to paint my room a light sky blue to match my red carpet. It wouldn’t take the whole day to paint my room considering how small it was and the lack of future or pictures on the wall. For now, it was basically an empty shell or blank canvas dying to put some life into it. It also allowed time for my father to work at the church house and before we invaded his privacy.

I had learned that he currently holds two jobs as a full-time janitor at the church house and a part-time job at Santaquin Elementary, the only school in town, the same school where Becky attends.  Aaron is currently in the 7th grade at Payson Jr. High, while Susan attends the 10th grade at Payson High school, the same grade as me due to me being held back.

In a way, we had the whole house to ourselves. Mom had changed compared to the mother that I thought she was. Instead of cruel and unloving when came to me and Aaron she was fun and full of life, in so much I was looking at a whole different person. Even more so when she started to rock out and cranking up the stereo, something I had never seen her do in my entire lifetime.  In fact, I didn’t know she liked Guns and Roses or Black Sabbath and other cool bands that I listened to back then. It made me laugh watching her play air guitar, something I would never see Mrs. Rothwell do. Mom was wild compared to her in some ways she was two sides of a different coin.

Mom took several pictures of me and Aaron dressed in painter overalls, even more so when we covered each other in paint. Aaron and I had several stripes of paint running down our arms, our back, chest and bare feet. It seemed we had more paint on ourselves then the walls being covered from head to toe. It took three hours and a long hot bath before we were done, but the room looked great and that’s all that really mattered.

By lunchtime, Dad had arrived with all the things I would need, except for my homework from my classes. Due to the fact school would be closed until tomorrow, telling my mother that she could stop by my house after swim practices and pick it up. Mom noting the time on our schedule that practice begins at 4:00, but I needed to be there no later than 3:30 so I would have time to check in and dress. Mom asked if it was alright if I brought my brother and my sisters.

Dad said they keep part of the pool open to the public so it wouldn’t be a problem, but during the meet, they would have to be in the bleachers until after the meet if they planned on swimming. Mom also noted the time for my gymnastics class and kickboxing. Dad said I had a competition next week, but I still needed to be there or they wouldn’t let me compete. Dad stressed that part having Mom underline the times of each of my practices. Again she didn’t complain or give excuses that we would be driving back and forth so often. It was what it was and Mom intended to keep her promises to me and the Rothwell’s.

Dad could see I hadn’t been harmed considering both me and Aaron were dressed in shorts he was concerned about the bruising on my ankles and my wrist, I simply stated Mom learned a hard lesson when it came to me having an episode. Having too tranquilized me and Officer Kenly had to strap me down to my bed. I could see he was angry, but it changed in a blink of an eye. I could see he was trying hard to keep the monster in its cage.

Dad didn’t like being lied to and he knew that I had lied when I said everything was fine yesterday. The proof was staring him in the face when he looked at the red buries on my ankles and my wrist. It came out harsher then he intends watching my mother step back a bit. Dad wasn’t going to go quietly until he rung the truth out of us. I asked Mom if it was alright if Dad I went for a walk. Mom was about to say I didn’t need to ask permission, but no words would come out, so she simply nodded her head.

I took Dads' hand and pulled him away from my mother. It was a fairly warm day and I was decent enough to go for a walk without putting on a shirt and I seldom wore shoes or socks at home like the rest of my brothers and sisters. Besides Mom (Rothwell) didn’t like it when we wore shoes in the house, and preferred all of us boys to go barefoot to prevent having to constantly mend holes in our socks. When we got some distance from the house Dad asked in a harsh manner what really happened and warned me not to lie or there would be a consequence.

I knew very well what those consequences were or could be. I simply told him I had an episode right after sacrament meeting. When I had stepped into the bathroom to wash my face and it was the same bathroom I had scrubbed with a toothbrush having my father physically beat me in. That I had tried to control it, but there were too many ghosts that grandma had to tranquilize me to bring me out of it. Dad understood as he stopped and hugged me to him.

He knew that was going to happen, he hoped it wouldn’t, but that church house was a breeding ground for nightmares to surface.  I hadn’t realized I was crying until he was wiping my tears with his fingers. He asked if I needed to come home. Inside my mind, I was screaming yes, but instead said: “I could tough it out as long as my mother kept her promises and so far she has.” Dad said he was proud of me for at least trying to face my fears, but was disappointed that I had lied to him. I nodded that I did it because I didn’t want him to worry about me and blame my mother for putting me in that situation. Dad hugged me tight and forgave me, but next time he wanted the truth. I gave him my word.

He walked me back to my parent’s house with his arms around my shoulders. He didn’t like having to leave me, but he like me had given our word, and my mother so far has kept her’s. Neither of us trusted her, but there was very little anyone could do about it. He gave my mother a warning stating he doesn’t tolerate liars. That she should have told him about me having an episode and what caused it. Mom nodded and we watched him drive off.

It was nearly three by the time Mom called Officer Kenly to tell him we were ready to go down to the church so I could practice. Knowing my father wouldn’t be there, but we didn’t want to take any chances; that he came back early from working at the school. When we arrived, we parked in front of the building. Mom and I knew parking in the back of the church would be a very bad idea. Mom doubled checked to make sure she had a tranquilizer in case I had an episode.

I cringed seeing my father coming closer. I quickly closed my eyes and kept walking, holding tight to Mom’s hand. Mom growled and I knew it was real. My father stared at us and began walking quickly towards us, his hand reached for his belt then stopped in his tracks seeing two police cars coming around the corner. Yelled at us asking what the hell we were doing here? Calling us foul names that would curl my grandmother’s toes. I heard Officer Kenly voice. Telling my father to step away from us or he would be sorry.

My father stood his ground, but he stopped coming towards us watching Officer Kenly and his partner and two more officers surround Mom and I. My father growled cursing us, but Mom and I kept walking keeping our eyes forward. When we reached the top of the stairs Officer Kenly unlocked the door and allowing us to enter the building.

We knew my father was breaking the rules, but as long as he stayed his distance from me. Mom wasn’t going to order him off the property. After all, it was her lively hood and my father had as much right to be here than any of us. Officer Kenly asked if Mom felt he needed to enforce the law according to the agreement. Mom shook her head stating as long he kept away from me, she would tolerate it.

Officer Kenly had the two Officers remain near my father and he and his partner would take posts at the doors of the chapel to prevent my father from coming near me. The chapel didn’t have as many ghosts of my father, mostly because it had been remodeled enough that it didn’t look the same as it did all those years ago. Plus my father never once abused me in here; even though I had washed, dusted and vacuumed every part of the chapel. Work was work regardless if it was slave labor with my father as my taskmaster. It was the other areas of the church where I had problems with.

Mom placed a chair near the piano, it was bigger then I was used to for practice, but it would be the same kind when I gave my recital. I was a little nervous considering it would be the first time I had played for my mother and my brother. Mom didn’t say anything just smiled watching me remove my shoes and socks. I had learned that I could feel the vibrations which helped me feel the music. It also relaxed me feeling the carpet on the soles of my feet.  In some ways, I was walking on holy ground and made me feel closer to the spirit. Aaron had taken his off as well as if it was a special treat to do it in church, setting them next to mine and I patted the seat for him to sit next to me giving him the job to turn the pages.

Mom was on pins and needles taking pictures of us from every angle calling me little Mozart. I began by opening my backpack pulling out my warm-up books, taking a deep breath and touched the keys. In my mind I envisioned me playing the piano at home. I pictured the white walls in the living room and Mom in the kitchen baking my favorite cookies. Shane and Jody seating comfortable on the couch listening to me play, I could smell the cookies that were waiting for me. Mom always baked them the day before my recitals.

Even though it was only exercised to limber me up and relax me. Mom clapped after each one even though that wasn’t allowed in the chapel, but I knew God would understand. I reached opened the sheet music that I would be playing at the recital; covered with handwritten notes from my teacher, where I needed to pay close attention too. I didn’t really need the sheet music, considering I had most of it memorized. I would get extra points if it was which could make a difference when you are being judged sometimes breaking a tie vote.

Mom was crying by the time I had reached the halfway point, the music echoed off the walls making it sound as if I was in a large concert hall. I only messed up twice, but Mom thought that I had done it perfectly. It surprised me when I heard someone clap from below when I finished the piece. When I turned it was the Bishop making his way up to us. Asking me to play it again, taking a seat on the other side of me having to move mine and Aaron shoes to make room. I quickly apologized for going barefoot in the chapel only for him to say I was more than welcome too and thanked us for respecting the fact I and my brother were walking on hallowed ground.

I was beginning to think Bishop Earl and Bishop Lanwall were cut from the same cloth even more so when he took his off setting his next to mine. I blushed seeing my hands shake, I didn’t dare look into his eyes or shake his hand, afraid I would lose my nerve. When he was comfortable he asked me to play it again. So I obliged feeling the goosebumps go up and down my body. When I was done Mom and he clapped. Telling us it was the most beautiful music he had heard played in this chapel. It was so beautiful it made him seek the source, unable to work as it drew him in while it filled the church with a strong spirit.

I thanked him for saying it wasn’t quite perfect yet, he didn’t believe me. Asking me to play something else, like most of my concert friends, I was always practicing new pieces and had several.  I had played every piece that I had in my repertoire, including half the hymn book and primary book.

Time went quickly as I kept impressing my audience. It was nearly five and I had practiced for nearly two and a half hours. I normally don’t play that long, unless it was two days before my performance. Sometimes longer if I was struggling, having Mom (Rothwell) telling me to take a break. Not that she was tired of me banging away, but because I push myself hard so it could be perfect.

Mom and the Bishop were impressed when he took out his hand for me to shake, I hesitated for a moment. I didn’t want to be rude so I shook his hand. I still felt overcome by the spirit the second we shook hands. I stood there looking into his eyes seeing the same bright light. But this time I could hear music surround me as we stood in a bright room. I couldn’t help but feel the music as it vibrated in me. I didn’t know how long I stood there listening.