Trying To Fit In part 1

Chapter 65

Trying To Fit In

Part 1

 

It was past 9 by the time I had climbed in the tub with Aaron, Mom couldn’t resist the temptation to snap pictures of me him taking a bath together, in fact, I knew she planned it. Aaron simply obliged by taking his seat in front of me. When Mom was done she gave us both a bath as if we were still small children. I knew I didn’t need any help and was past the age requiring my mother to bathe me, even Aaron was old enough not requiring either of us to help. I simply took it in stride handing her the soap and the washrag and let her do it.

With my father out of the house, it was easier to trust my mother not to harm me, and my sisters were severally punished had both been spanked for causing the mess earlier. They should have considered themselves lucky they hadn’t been punished by the Rothwell’s by grounding to their rooms or have had gone without supper or worse. Mom simply kept a good eye on them warning them if they so much as came near me she would give her consent to let me beat the crap out of them. Mom knew I would never do it, but they didn’t know that and neither of us was going to tell them differently. Apparently, the warning was going to be enough as they nodded as they both gave me an apology, but I also knew it wouldn’t be the last time we tangled.

Even though I was invited to watch TV with the rest of them I declined the offer by pulling out my school books. It didn’t matter that I wouldn’t have to go to school until the following Monday. The assignments would still be due and I didn’t want to fall behind nor did I want my grades to slip.

Dad said he would have one of my friends pick up my homework for the week and have Shane drop it off Sunday night and my typewriter. It to was a gift from Dad for going beyond his requirements of taking all three typing classes. I was still in the second class for at least another four weeks, but I had signed up for the third one a week ago. Mom and Dad purchased it as a gift so I could have one that I wouldn’t have to share, besides all my teachers preferred all my assignments typed than handwritten and I got extra credit for it as well.

For now, I simply had handwritten my notes, which included pages numbers with footnotes. Mom and I had purchased the biggest share of my books, so I could write and underline to my heart's content. The idea came from Dad when he was required to attend school for his new job and seemed to make a difference on my test and assignment scores. Not only by reading the material and handwriting them I had the chance to ingrain the information once again by typing it. It also put me at the top of the class in all my classes. So spending extra time here with my mother; wouldn’t really be such a big deal when came to missing a little school.

Mom would check on me from time to time, by kissing me on the head or drape her arms down my front giving me a little hug asking me if I needed anything. Telling me over and over how good it felt to have me home. I still didn’t say anything or indicate that I felt the same, but neither did she push it. I knew it hurt her not having me says it, but I couldn’t give her what she wanted when I didn’t feel it.

Too me it would be a lie and I didn’t like lying to anyone. So I just grinned up to her telling her I was just about finished for the night and asked if was alright if I went outside to practice on the back lawn before I turned in. Mom stating I didn’t need permission to go outside or call the Rothwell’s, telling me this my house and I didn’t need to be asked to do anything. I still asked to go to the bathroom out of habit. Mom having to tell me time and time again if I needed to go to the bathroom I didn’t have to ask. I think it was getting on her nerves to having to repeat it over and over, but still, I asked.

When I reached the backyard dressed in my special suit that Dad and purchased so I could practice my moves for gymnastic outdoors other than doing them in my boxers, which sometimes fell off when I did flips and would sometimes trip me. Even though doing them in the nude at home wouldn’t matter to anyone at home and had done so on many occasions. Mom and Dad bought them for convince and they were required during a meet. Most the time the boys on my team just wore trunks during practice and wore the suit only during the meet. Since I was doing flips and somersaults I thought best to wear them instead of my trunks.

Mom and Aaron became my audience as they watched me make several flips and different somersaults that I had time to music setup for my routine for my competition. I heard my mother gasp when I did a standard flip ending it to aerial corkscrew somersault landing perfectly on the balls of my feet and back flipped into spiral spread cartwheel; ending to high twist flip jackknife, something that had taken me months to learn and had earned several sprains and bruises.

When I was done everyone clapped and my audience had grown, my two sisters were absolutely stunned. The threat my mother gave them became real at that moment. Even more so when I practiced without music a simple routine regimen of kickboxing that we had combined with some of my gymnastic moves. Most of them my mother recognized seeing her wince remembering the pain it caused when being on the receiving end.

If there was a doubt in my sister's mind or my mother's mind when came to me defending myself it soon was obliterated. My sisters didn’t dare come near me out of fear that I would, or could kill them with my bare hands with a simple kick or punch to the throat. They’d be dead before they even hit the ground.

Aaron was jumping up and down whistling trying to copy one of my kicks falling flat on his face. Mom and I laughed watching him spit grass out of his mouth as he stood back up. Grinning ear to ear, my sisters had more than enough, had left long before I had finished my routine. Mom asked how often I practiced. I told her every day at home and twice a week at the gym and more right before a competition.

I asked if was alright if I took a quick shower before I went to bed said normally I would have waited to after I had practiced, but I grinned rubbing Aaron's' head said I couldn’t resist the temptation to take a bath with my favorite brother. Mom once again stating I didn’t need to ask and gave me her permission.

When I was done Aaron was already in my bed waiting for me. I smiled and drank my tonic by emptying the glass right down to the last drop and crawled in next to him, bring him closer so he could lay his head on my bare chest and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. I was almost asleep by the time Mom came in to tuck us in with each a kiss on the cheek. I barely saw the flash of the camera before I was off to dreamland. Mom told me she would keep her door open in case I needed anything; I yawned and nodded let the drugs take over. It was one of the best night sleeps I had gotten in a long time being in the same house of my enemy being so close to me.

Grandma was true to her word as she was ringing the doorbell and knocking on the door before the rooster was even up. She had come alone, having Don drop her off at the curb. Mom quickly answered the door informing her we are all still asleep standing in a robe at the door. I could hear making her way down the hall to my room. I had always been a light sleeper, but I didn’t want to get out of bed even though the tonic had worn off. It felt good having my brother with me as he laid dozing on my chest with his arm over me. I liked being the protecting brother instead of the one being protected.

Shane and I still slept in the same bed often enough that Dad had given us a bigger bed that used to be Kerry’s. To accommodate both of us considering him I had both outgrown the beds we had and it was to save room and money. Shane was my brother as much as Aaron, Robert, and Will are. Even Jody would sleep with me from time to time or Mom or Dad and sometimes Kerry when she was home or whenever I was home sick or after a bad episode at night.

It felt crowded having one sister and brother on either side of you, but it also felt wonderful and loved, knowing they truly cared about you. I know some people would consider it creepy considering non of them were not related to me by blood, but blood or genes had nothing to do with being loved enough that they are just as real when came to being your family then your own.

Once grandma was satisfied that I was perfectly safe she left me and Aaron alone by closing the door and after several kisses on the cheek for both of us, telling us to go back to sleep. We did just that until the smell of pancakes and freshly cooked beacon became too un-resistible.

We quickly jumped out of bed and made our way to the kitchen; our eyes savoring the large stacks of pancakes on the table waiting for us to devour them. Grandma simply laughed as each of us took our seats beating our sisters, taking their time to dress, unlike us seating at the table in nothing but our boxers. They had chosen to least put on jeans and a tee-shirt. Mom kissed me and Aaron on the head and set down another stack and a large plate piled high with the beacon. Mom had given up her ideas of Aaron and I being immodest, I didn’t dare ask her why being afraid the dream would shatter but was a whole different matter when it came to my sisters and my father.

Normally we have prayer before we ate, but I wasn’t home with the Rothwell’s simply dived in like it was a competition between all of us who could eat the most pancakes. Aaron won by three giving him a high five and began to clear the table. Mom reminded my sister they had dishes for the month hearing them groan about it. I simply grabbed a dry towel and helped dry the dishes without saying a word. Grandma smiled at me, Mom trying to intervene, but finally, let it go realizing I had done most of it already and was too late to stop me. Aaron went to the living room and turned on the TV to watch cartoons. While Grandma visited with my mother.

When they came back I had just finished sweeping the floor and the kitchen was cleaned near to perfection and my sisters had long since gone to get ready for church. Aaron was almost dressed lacking his shoes and socks while I remand in my boxers making my last sweep around the kitchen. Mom was about to ask why but was interrupted by a knock at the door finding my caseworker and Officer Kenly standing at the door. Mom quickly understood letting them in. Grandma smiled knowing that apparently, the same rules applied to my mother.

Officer Kenly smiled having me take a seat in the living room with my caseworker why he did a search of the property and making sure the basement was secure and checked the lock box on the wall. Noting everything is as it should be. Grandma followed us down to my room so they look at the prized side of beef in private; I started to remove boxers until my caseworker stopped me asking me if it was necessary. Grandma, on the other hand, said it was for her own piece of mind. So I did what I was told. Mom saying “doesn’t my son have the nicest tan butt you have ever seen?”

Grandma had me turn completely around slowly in two complete circles. Patted it gently confirming it said. “It’s the first time I had actually noticed how even the tan was.” Patting it again and having me turn around again.

Something way she said it, said we were about to have a long talk, but Mom said I had gotten it from running laps around the Rothwell’s field. It took her a moment before it registered the conditions of those laps. She growled angrily cursing the Rothwell’s. I quickly dressed. Telling Grandma that it really was no big deal and told her all the boys have the same tan as I do.

Grandma asked Officer Kenly if that was against the law. He took a moment asking if the field was private or was near houses. I said private indicating there is the road towards the top, but it was a rarity that cars or people used it. He said if that’s the case it not considered illegal for sunbathing in the nude on private land. My caseworker noted it on my file to caution the Rothwell’s regarding it. But other words even though neither liked the idea, its nothing more than parents bathing their own children.

I asked her not to bring it up telling her it really is no big deal considering all the boys in my family do it on regular bases and to me and them it really wasn’t anything to be concerned about. Stating Mom and Dad had bathed me many times and we rarely wear any more then what I am wearing now on hot and warm days. She sighed with relief stating even her own boys spend more time in just their boxers then being clothed. Giggling sometimes they would go without that if she let them. Mom and Grandma laughed, even more, admitting the same thing. Mom noting the time said if there is nothing more we needed to get ready for church.

Officer Kenly said he too needed to get home to change and would see me there also informing me that he was my priesthood and Sunday, school teacher, and if I wouldn’t mind blessing the sacrament saying I would make number three when it comes to how many priests or in our ward and would be glad to turn the duty over to me instead of him filling in.

Also saying they have four teachers and three deacons including Aaron. I said I would be happy to. Mom and Grandma each gave me a quick squeeze and told me to get ready for church. I asked if I could use the bathroom first. Mom sighed repeating once again I didn’t need permission, but let it go with a simple kiss on the cheek. Grandma stating she too had to give me permission before I would do anything. Mom nodded closing the door telling grandma it’s going to be a long week. Forgetting grandma hadn’t been told when she said: “I thought he was going back tomorrow?” Mom slowly gave her the details of our new arrangement.

Grandma closed my parent's bedroom door so my mother and she could dress for church, but it didn’t stop me hearing my grandma and her going into a heated debate when came to my father. Through the walls I heard my mother state that my father would be released in the morning. Saying the law could only hold him for 72 hours stating the fact he never laid a hand on me so they had nothing to hold him on.

My hands trembled as I buttoned my shirt, the very thought of my father walking the streets free scared the living delights out of me. Even more so without my special wristwatch, I was already starting to feel naked without it. I trusted my mother not to harm me, well I hoped she wouldn’t, but when it came to my father there wasn’t a glimmer of trust. Somehow he would find a way to finish where we left off.

I searched deep inside for that connection that Jeff and I have held over the years. Putting everything in it I could, but it was still cold and empty. Grandma came in as I was putting my shoes and socks on closing the door. Her hands shaking as she straightened my tie. I knew she was just as scared as I was, but she only asked me one question. Did I trust my mother to keep her promise? I paused for the longest moment said. “No I don’t, but I am going to have to or one of us going to die.”

Grandma hugged me adding that every day while I am here she wanted me to call her and if I don’t, she is here with the law to either take me away or my parent's bodies. Promising that if it came to that not to hesitate. I promised her I would only kill them if there was no other way. She knew I could do it; she had been too enough of my competition to know that I could.

We both prayed that it would never come to that. She had wiped both our tears by the time my mother came into the room. She wanted a family picture before we left one that didn’t include my father. Grandma too took her own picture of all her grand-kids all together in our Sunday best. Even though cameras really weren’t allowed in the chapel she wanted one of me and Aaron performing our duties.