Taking A Different Path part 1

Chapter 62

Taking A Different Path

Part 1

I knew sooner or later I was going to have to face my parents, but it would be on my terms, not theirs, and I prayed that it wouldn’t be soon.  Like most things in life you never get what you wish for in regards to things staying the same for it doesn’t. You always got older every year regardless if you don’t want to or not, yet I could never remain the little boy forever. Like most kids when growing up they couldn’t wait to be 16 so they could learn to drive a car and really enter the dating scene; or the magical age of 18 where you are considered an adult which allows you so many freedoms, well the freedoms you think that you wanted, not realizing the responsibilities that came with it.

Yet for me reaching the age of 16 was neither magical nor was I allowed the same freedoms as other boys and girls at that age. Dad and Mom drew the line when it came to me or any foster kid that had been or reached that age and given them the freedom to obtain their license, it simply was not allowed. So for me, it just meant I was year older nothing more to the outside world. In some ways, I was disappointed, but I also realized the reasons why I had listed them over and over and had argued with them regarding those reasons.

The number one reason was it would be easier for me to run away and find the Downing’s before anyone could stop me. It didn’t matter that I hadn’t tried to run away or the fact it had been several years since I had. Mom and Dad simply didn’t trust me not to, and they were right I would have done that very thing, especially with my parents breathing down my neck requesting home visits.

No one had a set path when the world and you changed from one year to the next; like they say life goes on regardless of your hardships, which were many in my case. I still had my boyhood friends; Ron, Steve and Charlie and had made several other school friends as well. Yet this was a year for change, starting with my two closest adult friends Brother Nile's and Bishop Lanwall, I know it been a while since I had mentioned any of them, but I had only chosen to write the most important things that happened in my life, not the mundane normal life of that happens from day to day.

Brother Nile's was released or better word retired from scouts at about the same time Bishop Lanwall was released as our Bishop their final duty was to ordain me to a calling of a priest; which was another historical event in the Rothwell home, considering no other foster kid had this opportunity or was granted permission.  All it really means was I allowed to bless the sacrament with Shane, and Mom and Dad couldn’t be prouder. However, Mom and Dad were disappointed in Shawn having been held back from this opportunity because of his past actions nor was he allowed to pass the sacrament. He like Danny and Arthur would most likely never get the opportunity

Even though it was a sad day to see another Bishop take Bishop Lanwall place. It was a moment to remember as Dad placed his hands on my head and confirmed me a priest, with the help of Bishop Lanwall, Brother Nile's, Brother Sakes and Shane. Something my father would never get the opportunity to do; having missed out on all stages of my LDS life from the time I was born to the time I have ordained an Elder later on in life. My father had not participated nor wanted the opportunity. I, however, can not speak for my brother for I don’t know for certain if my father missed or declined the opportunities. I would have to ask him or do some research to find out. It might be safe to say he declined the opportunities.

You could say it was a big day in the Rothwell home; it was like celebrating your birthday. Grandma was certainly proud of me and couldn’t stop hugging me the seconded I had returned to our seats. Things had changed over the years regarding when and how you were ordained to a new calling. At that time they were all done during sacrament meeting and on fast Sunday. Then it changed to any Sunday and then it changed to during priesthood with your peers and family. Personally, I liked it better when it was during Sacrament meeting because it made it seem that it was on a much grander scale. Plus everyone likes the spotlight.

As I had mentioned before, my parents never celebrated my and Aaron's birthday nor any major event in our lives. Those days were reserved for Susan and Becky, we simply didn’t exist. Mom and Dad did invite them to attend and as they had done before declined giving excuses. Personally, I preferred them not to participate considering they always made me feel that I wasn’t worth the effort. Yet when it came to my sisters no matter how small the event was they were there for them.

Instead of a car when I turned 16, I was given my first 10 speed bicycle with bright green metallic paint that glistened in the sun. Plus I was given new responsibilities and to give them a promise that I wouldn’t use it to run away. Mom and Dad trusted me only to a certain point placing boundaries where I could ride and how far outlined on a map. Stating if I went beyond those boundaries without their permission their trust in me would be broken and the bike would be forever gone.

I had learned from Shane that this was an opportunity not to take for granted, meaning I am the first foster kid to demonstrate that I had earned this trust. Dad and I shook hands on it sealing the deal. It had taken months for me to be able to trust Mom and Dad again. I wondered deep inside if this is what it was like to actually live in most homes for most children. Somehow I doubted it when it came to punishments going too far. I am not saying that I had never been punished or discipline when I lived with the Frys, Steeds or the Downing’s and other homes not worth the time and effort to mention them being so many.

Besides they never made a real impact on my life, except for the last four. I will note here that I had received numerous spankings and groundings like most kids growing up, firmly believe in this type of discipline, but only to a certain point when it hinges on child abuse. That is where I draw the line.

I am simply stating that when it came to the Rothwell’s Mom and Dad went too far in my opinion when it comes to prison mentality; hot boxes, laps in the raw and in chores exposed, use of a cattail whip, bathing with a coarse brush and the lack of privacy, age does not matter, and lets not forget the turn-table. Sorry being in a locked room regardless if it was soundproof doesn’t count, nor does being chained to your bed to prevent you from running away, sometimes it is necessary for your own good.

When it came to the Rothwell’s I hated them, I loved, them and I feared them when it came to living in their home. Yet I would have given almost anything to have stayed there if given the choice of living there for the rest of my life rather than going home to live with my parents. If it came to the Downing’s the decision would be the easiest thing and I would have chosen them hands down.

I loved my new bike and the freedom it gave me. Like going to the pool on my own and to the gym to workout with my friends and riding around town, but most of all I liked riding my bike to and from school with my three best friends Stan, Charlie, and Ron. We were inseparable and spent nearly every waking moment together.

There was a limit when it came to trusting with Mom and Dad. I still was required to wear my special wristwatch that could tell them if I was in trouble in regards to my parents and the fact they knew they could locate me just by picking up the phone. Having my own bike didn’t mean they trusted me. It was given me permission not to be watched every second of the day. It was also another sore point when came to Arthur, Danny, and Shawn, it seems I am always pissing them off.

Like everything else, change comes with age when I finally turned 16. Dad no longer required me to run laps in the raw or do chores that way; nor was it no longer necessary for someone to be there while I bathed or showered. Personally, I didn’t think that day would come and had gotten used to having an audience, but it didn’t stop Mom, Dad, and Shane or Kerry to walk in on me either while I was doing it.

Like life it was something you just got used to, being naked was nothing new when you lived in the Rothwell home, and I had nothing to be ashamed about. Not even Shane was excluded when it came to Mom opening the shower door wanting to know something. Mom would be Mom no matter how old you got, and I was good with that.

Yet when it came to Shawn, Danny and Arthur the privilege was never given, Mom and Dad required someone to be present, but in most cases, Shawn wasn’t included only when he was being severally punished did this happened. Danny and Arthur would be forever under this rule while under this roof, and I say that because things are about to change and not for the better in many cases and it was their downfall that made life hard on everyone. (Spoiler I know, but we are reaching the threshold of said events)

Lehi High School was about 15 miles from home as the crow flies and took about 30 to 45 minutes to an hour when taking your time on the way home. I loved the freedom, and I loved going to school riding my bike with my friends. I loved it, even more, going to school because it was mostly downhill compared to going mostly uphill on the way back. I loved the wind blowing through my hair and the hot sun on my bare back when it the temperatures were nice what some call an Indian summer; when one day you would be cold and the next hot as if it was summer, but most of all I liked not having to ride the bus with Arthur and Danny.

Dad still required me to play sports and signed me up for the wrestling team since I finally was able to make the weight. I was too small for the high school basketball team to make a difference, but I did play church ball and the sophomore league baseball team. Football was never an option because of my size.

Mom to had her requirements when it came to the choir and was quite proud when I made the Show Choir after having auditioned for my spot and still kept at my piano lessons. I was also given the chance to be in cooking classes that were only offered to Jr. and seniors and being a sophomore made it a rare opportunity. The reason why it was different from a regular class was you competed with other schools in regards of cooking and skills and it allowed you to be on the fast track when obtaining jobs in the field, it also gave you a chance to run a real live restaurant at the end of term

For four hours a day, you would waiter tables selling meals you prepared and run the cash register. That helped pay for the food sold and a portion of it went to the program. Which was one of the reasons it was only available to Jr.’ and seniors? The other was you had to be invited after competing against other high school students winning your spot. Or the teacher had a soft spot for you. 

I had met all the requirements and then some. Not to mention I was in most cases the only boy in the class. Yes, I was teased, but they got over it with free food like cookies, cakes, and homemade pies. Kids love to eat what can I say and I was very good at both. Besides, I was a ladies man and the girls loved having me all to themselves. For me I was a rare opportunity for any boy, some were quite jealous because of it.

Mom knew my secrets and my dreams when it came to what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wanted to be a Chef more than anything in spite if Dad thought it was girlish or a woman’s job, but Dad had little say about it considering I had done everything he had asked of me and more when it came to sports and manly chores. I had over 6 thousand dollars sitting in my saving account I had earned from my summer jobs. I used it to help with my school clothes and fees for my sporting activities and other miscellanies items.

Being manly was never an issue. Even Shane had picked up the habit after a long discussion in church when missionary presidents stated. Cooking, sewing, shopping and washing their own clothes should be on the list of what should be required before going on an LDS mission, not something you learn not when you first arrived. Dad admitted that perhaps he was wrong and implemented it, but as a career goal that’s where he drew the line.

Things changed over the years as more boys than girls started to sign up for cooking and sewing classes. Typing to seen an increase, by then I had taken all three courses when Dad had only required for one. I saw the befits early on and I never did anything halfway. Aaron, Susan, and Becky never saw the befit until my mother stopped typing their school papers. To my sisters it was a sore point but didn’t stop them from asking me to do it for them, I always did Aaron's for free. Sometimes having an edge that let me have more freedom makes the difference and that was just one of them, all thanks to my foster parents over the years.

Grandma and I kept the secret regarding the other monies I had tucked away in another saving account considering it would require mine and her signature to access it until I turned 18 and was to be used for college. In some ways, I felt rich compared to Arthur and Danny not being allowed the same opportunities as me. Which was another sore point, to them; I was nothing more than a mule boy. Personally, I felt they should be grateful that Mom and Dad or anyone else didn’t see them as mule boys any longer and didn’t treat them as such. It was their actions that caused them to be disciplined not mine, but in some ways, they had a point.

Mom and Dad did treat me more like one of their sons unlike them, but that was because I had chosen a different path. I wasn’t mentally handicapped, nor was I bad kid that had problems with drugs and alcohol or had a nasty habit of smoking and other problems like most boys that had come to the Rothwell home.

School was the only thing we had in common when became to being held back, but even that had its own reasons. All it really meant was more was expected of me when it came to getting good grades. Danny like Arthur were poor students for their own reasons. It also went without saying when it came to church activities and other sports that Dad didn’t require them to be in and a lot of it had to do with trust.

Mom and Dad could trust me not to get into trouble and trusted me to come home when I was told to. Danny couldn’t and had been given the chance several times to prove that he could be trying to run away. He was always in trouble in school; he wasn’t really a member of the LDS faith and had a hard time staying away from cigarettes, drugs, and alcohol. Making it impossible to hold a church calling which required you to stay away from such vices. Shawn to was having the same problems and was still doing the unspeakable things down in the basement. Mom and Dad simply would turn a blind eye and would refuse to discuss it. It didn’t matter if they locked him in the room at night to prevent it from happening. It still went on regardless.

Even with school going on and I was still having episodes, my mother kept partitioning Family Courts to reinstate home visits. It was becoming annoying having to get updates with my doctors stating it would be a very bad idea. Even more so with the progress, I have made in the Rothwell home. Several times they had been simply declined because they weren’t willing to participate when came to my events when I competed.

Nor was my mother willing to come without my father. No was the reply because of their actions. The fact I was still terrified of basements and had severe problems when it came to bad storms made it even more impossibility, but I had made considerable progress making them a rarity, it helped by being distant from my parents. Restating home visits would bring them back and losing all that progress.

Yet change was coming as the laws were being made regarding child abuse; which made it harder for my parents to get away with it. In some ways, it was good news and in others, it was bad news. Meaning it would be easier for my mother to reinstate visitation rights. The State stating they would be requiring the said parents too be at events when required to do so, such a simple thing to ask when you actually did it out of love wanting to be involved in your children’s lives, harder when you had really no love for that child.

After speaking to my grandmother it was mostly my mother that had a change of heart, realizing that she had missed the opportunity of raising one of her own children in the home. Feeling jealous, watching other people sons and parents celebrating the lives they share with all their children. It was those same people that looked down on her and my father for failing to raise me being exiled out of the home while she raised her other three under a watchful guard.

To the point, Aaron was doing well in school, church and had been given freedom within and out of the home. It had nearly been two years since my father or my mother had marked him. No one said anything of change of heart regarding my father or my sisters. And so finally the Family Courts overruled the Rothwell’s, visitation was reinstated.