Returned Among The Living part 1

Chapter 34

Returned Among The Living

Part 1

It was Monday afternoon and the sixth day that I had lived in the Rothwell house. I had woken once more on my own, feeling the warm sun on my bare back. Someone had dressed me as I felt the tight bulge of cloth across my waist of unturned elastic. I couldn’t move without the pain making me dizzy as I looked around the empty room seeing Jeff sitting in the corner. With his head bowed as if he was praying or sleeping. I tried to link my mind with his, but my mind felt clouded as if I had been drugged for too long. I looked toward the door finding it opened, but the house was still and quiet; leaving the impression that nobody was home except me.

I groaned softly trying to move my stiff and hurt body, shifting slowly letting the cool sheet slide off the bed onto the floor. Jeff raised his head and sighed with relief as if he doubted I would have lived through the night. Coming quickly to his feet gliding softly across the carpet towards me; he reached out with his mind, stating he was glad to see me, more glad that my spirit was still in this world. I tried to disagree by groaning, as he smiled wishing he could help me up or take away the pain. Instead, I whispered. “Was this part of his surprise?” As if it was a cruel joke; watching him shake his head no. For the first time I thought he was lying to me; the dreams and the nightmares still strong in my mind as they shifted from one to the other.

It wasn’t long as I laid there trying to decide whether to just lie there, or try to move my body into sitting positions. But the decision was made for me as Mrs. Rothwell came into the room, tears still fresh in her eyes. Telling me not to move unless I had to; I shook my head no and said. “I needed to use the bathroom;” feeling my bladder about to burst and surprised it hadn’t already. She understood and helped me move my feet onto the floor and leaned me against her shoulder. I groaned with each movement as I stood; then fell back on the bed. Nearly falling as my legs went limp from underneath me. She waited for me to try again, but I couldn’t gain any purchase without them leaving me high and dry.

I was informed that Dad had gone to work and wouldn’t be home for a few more hours. I nodded that I understood as she called for Shane from down the hall. Hopping between the two of them I could reach to and from my destination.  I sighed as I watched him with Shawn beside him answering the call for help. I didn’t like him much after the last time he and his father humiliated me doing a prison strip search, but it was either that or peeing on the carpet. Somehow I felt that wouldn’t be such a good idea, seeing the brown stains of my dried blood mixed in. I knew without a doubt that it would be me or Arthur scrubbing it clean to its pristine color.

Mrs. Rothwell carefully helped me up trying not to touch my sore back. I knew it was bad; I didn’t need to see it. I could see it in their eyes and faces. Shane was careful also as he leaned in taking my arm and placing it over his shoulder. If he was any taller it would have been nearly impossible, but I managed the best I could let them take my weight as we walked slowly to the bathroom. I didn’t care if the whole world saw me helpless and in pain. I didn’t care as she lowered my boxers while she and Shane lowered me onto the seat having Shawn as my audience watched me from the door. I didn’t care as I felt the rush of relief as my balder slowly emptied as they stood on either side of me to prevent me from falling over.

I could feel the wounds crack open as warm blood flowed slowly down my back. I thanked them for their help despite it was their fault in the first place. She asked if felt like coming to the table for some lunch and nodded it would be fine. It didn’t seem important to anyone that all I had on was my boxers, as she slowly and carefully helped me pull them up; or seeing a trail of small drops of my blood on the floor and round the toilet seat.

Instead, they helped me to the sink letting her wash my hands as Shane held me by the waist to keep me from falling over. I turned seeing the tub as it reminds me that she tried to kill me the falling night. I couldn’t help, but stop as the memory washed over me; all most falling as the world caught up with me, bringing me back to reality. They silently helped me down the hall and let me fall firmly on a nearby kitchen chair. I could see from the window that everyone else was outside playing tag with Jared and Jason. Once again Arthur wasn’t among them. Personally, I hoped he was worse off than me, after all, it was his fault that Dad whipped us both as he fled for safety, leaving me to feel the full wrath that should have been his.

Just seeing them so happy made me think of Sam, Ted and my little brother Aaron. I didn’t feel the soft tears run down my face until one landed on the table in front of me. I slowly wiped them away, feeling the scabs break open every time I raised my arms. I knew that this was a bad idea as the blood dripped even more following the curves of my legs as if it was a waterfall, but I was already here and I was hungry; so I stopped wiping them letting them fall.

To everyone else, it would look like the pain was causing them. I didn’t care one way or the other. In a way it felt good to cry, letting the weight of my loneliness rack against the pain inside and out. Nobody said a word as I sat there sobbing uncontrollably. As my head fell against my arms fold in front me as I leaned against the table, the deeper I cried the better I felt.

My body shudders as the tears came in more force. The feeling of loneliness was unbearable as I cried into my arms. Letting the memories wash over me. I screamed feeling a cold wet towel touch the open wounds, hearing Mrs. Rothwell choked voice as she tried to comfort me. Her words seemed hollow, but genuine as she knelled before me and feeling my head and cheeks, cussing that she didn’t check me earlier. I didn’t care if died right there if it stopped the pain. I doubted anything would stop it, as I heard someone say. “He really needs a doctor Mom.” 

Her saying; “if he went there, there would be too many questions.” Picking up the phone to call Dad then changing her mind as she set it back on the hook. Telling everyone in the room; “he will be fine until Dad comes home; we have been through worse than this.” Yet she didn’t sound convinced checking my head with her hand, said. “We will just put him back to bed until then.”

I could feel Jeff’s concerned; I didn’t need to see his face. One minute he was angry and worried because he was so helpless. The next I felt his warm embrace as he tied to take some of the pain away. He linked with me telling me he was going to get me some help instead of watching me die in front of him. I begged him to bring Ma saying she would know what to do, but I got no reply as he left me alone bleeding out in stranger’s house.

I considered I had been through the worst. Thinking about dying out in the middle of the road bleeding until the Downing’s found me. I slowly raised my head and closed my eyes to prevent the room from spinning. I could feel eyes on the back of my head as if they were watching a dead man come back to life. Slowly wiped my tears wincing as the towel fell behind the seat and feeling someone put back around my shoulders.

I felt the cold goosebumps as I started to shiver and my teeth began to chatter even though it was warm in the house, it felt like I was freezing. Mrs. Rothwell set down my lunch hoping I would eat it. Setting down something clear that tasted like horse dung nearly spitting it back into the cup. Telling me it should help with the pain a mixture of Cumin and Willow bark herbs I never heard of and wheat germ. I wanted to laugh instead I cried as my teeth chattered preventing me to do either successfully. I slowly ate the sandwich and gulped down the drink and asked if it was alright if I went back to my room before I passed out onto the floor.

For a brief moment, I thought someone laughed that sounded like mouse squeaking as if was caught in a trap. But was just the back door opening as the kids and their sisters came into the room. Seeing me seating at the table; Kerry quickly ushered them out and closed the family room door. I could hear the TV turn on and her saying. “I’ll bring your lunch in here in a bit; after I see if Mom needs any help with the boy.”

I could hear Sesame Street playing in the background. Kerry asked if she needs help, but she said; “we managed to get him this far. Shane and I can help him back to his room. Then you guys can bring Arthur up, I have a list of chores he can do. Staring with the bathroom; it’s only fair that he cleans up his blood, after all, it was his fault that Eric was punished instead of him. I have very little doubt that he will be any use to us for at least a couple of days.” I hated the idea of someone scrubbing floors as it refreshed the memory of me scrubbing floors with a toothbrush. But to say I felt sorry for him was a whole different matter.

Jody smiled at me as she took my plate and glass and set them in the sink. I could see the blush in her cheeks as she looked at me. I told her “thank you for saving my life, last night, “while my teeth chattered. She nodded. Whispering she would check on me later that is if I wasn’t asleep; while she placed the falling towel back over my shoulders leaving me alone to start some lunch for her brothers. I waited as Mrs. Rothwell and Shane took me by the arm helping me up. Placing my arm around his neck, but instead of walking me back to my room she asked Jody if she could change my bed while she and Shane put me in the shower, so they could clean me up before setting me back on the bed. I wanted to scream no, but my teeth wouldn’t stop chattering long enough.

Just the thought of her drowning me set me on edge, but she did have a point seeing the red lines where the blood had dripped down my legs and chest. Besides I never heard of someone drowning in the shower. Even though I didn’t really like Shane, I didn’t think he would allow her to kill me. So I nodded it was fine, not that I had a choice really. I was wondering what was taking Jeff so long more than anything. It hurt as Mrs. Rothwell and Shane leaned me against them.

I screamed as the towel fell scraping my skin taking scabs with it; as it dragged itself down falling between my feet. Shane kicked it to the side and we walked slowly as Mrs. Rothwell opened the door and turned on the shower then help lean me against the wall. Telling him that he was going to have to climb in with me; “I know Mom, I have done it before with Arthur remember.” Reminding her wasn’t Arthur.

Shane removed his clothes except for his boxer shorts before jumping in I don’t know why it mattered the water made them practically see through anyway. Then carefully removed mine kicking them out of the way holding me up the best he could. My legs shook as I leaned against the wall; feeling Shane’s warm skin and lean body rub against mine as he held me up. I never felt so embarrassed, as two of us showered so closely together as our bodies touched.

It gave me the most uncomfortable feeling. While his mother handed him the soap and shampoo as he washed me. Saying over and over how sorry he was, as he quickly and carefully washed me. I groaned as he dabbed my back as gently as he could without tearing the skin more and told me. “If he got a chance, Arthur was going to pay dearly for this.” I nodded saying as my teeth chatter, begged him not to be too hard on him.

He stood there pausing as if I struck a nerve and then quickly turned off the water. Taking my arm and placed it around his neck as his mother dried me and him off the best she could. Wrapping the towel around my waist, but it wouldn’t stay. I said “leave it be, it doesn’t matter anymore. “ She nodded letting Shane dry himself off while she set me down on the toilet seat so she could dry my hair. Shane said to her; “it would best if the girls were out of the way Mom. I don’t feel like exposing my self in front of them.” 

She giggled replied; “you do have point, dry yourself off while I get you something dry to wear while I see if Jody is finished with his bed;” picking up the wet clothes on the floor stopping long enough to say thank you. Before opening the door leaving us to our privacy or what was left of it.

Shane again apologized for the other day saying he had no choice, but to obey his father. Asked me not say anything to anyone or he would take it out on me. I nodded hugging myself as I froze to death. Waiting trying to ignore the fact that I had just showered with another person that wasn’t my brother, but a stranger, and wondered if this is how Arthur felt considering Shane having to bathe him as well. I didn’t have long to contemplate as the door on the other side opened. For once it didn’t bother me that I was naked, as I sat there freezing to death even though my skin felt hot. I knew that I had a fever, it was a bad one. I also knew without the proper medication it was only going too get worse, so I prayed that Jeff would return with help before then.

Mrs. Rothwell handed Shane a clean pair of boxers and said she would wait outside this door until he was ready. I was relieved that we were taking a short cut then going out through the dining room. Shane said. “He was sorry, that sometimes Mom forgets that not all foster boys are not like Arthur.” 

I nodded and said “I had been through worse,” his eyebrow roses, but I didn’t elaborate.

Some secrets are best untold. I didn’t trust him to keep quiet so I stayed silent and turned my head while he dressed. He laughed at me; “were guys, it’s not like you haven’t seen other boys showering in the locker room.” But still, I couldn’t face him as I looked everywhere else but him. Only my other foster families knew I had a hard time showering with the other boys, and mostly it was because I was ashamed of my own body. Shane put a towel around my shoulders, letting it hang down against the front of my chest, and another tucked in around my waist asking me if I was ready. I nodded as he took my arm and helped me to my feet; leaning me against him and said. “This doesn’t mean we are going steady, just two guys helping the other one out.” Which made me smile; as I tried to hold my teeth from chattering and he opened the door to his parent’s bedroom.

I didn’t need as much help as I tried to hurry, which was a mistake as the towel fell down around my ankles before I made it to inside my bedroom door just in time seeing Jody leaving my room with my dirty bedding. Seeing her face blush and watched her quick turn around. Mrs. Rothwell telling her; “it’s not like you haven’t it seen it all before girl. Give the poor boy a break he didn’t do it on purpose.” 

Hearing Jody saying; “Mom I know all boys are the same.”

Shane quickly kicked the towel out of my way as he hurried me inside my room closing the door behind him with his foot while his mother dealt with his sister nearly busting a gut; “I am surprised after yesterday that she didn’t say you had a very nice butt.” I blushed and he laughed even louder; “I bet if Dad was here he would have agreed. Then again that’s between us.” And winked at me helping me back on the bed and draped the sheet over my waist and finished drying my hair with the towel around my shoulders.

As we waited for Mom to come back with the first aid kit I had to ask why everyone calls us mule boy. Shane said; “Again that started with Arthur because of he sometimes as dumb as a mule and you haven’t proved yourself yet, that you’re not just another stupid kid we get from time to time. But I would suggest you keep that to yourself and play long until he has said that you are not. But I would also advise that you don’t anger him or you will end up dead.” Grimacing; “or wish you were.” I nodded that I understood hugging myself as my teeth chattered.  He offered to hug me, to keep me warm, but we both knew he was kidding, but he did wink at me in a strange way that made want to slide over just a bit.

Which made him laugh as Mom entered the room telling us. “She was sorry keeping us waiting, but Arthur needed instructions again how I wanted him to clean the bathroom. Something he has done a million times before. I swear sometimes he gets dumber as he gets older.” Shaking her head; “anyway, go ahead and get dressed Shane I got it from here. And be sure to bring up the laundry from downstairs, you know how I feel about going down there.”

He said; “yes Mom, when I come back up I will check on Arthur and make sure he is doing what he was told.” Somehow I didn’t think he meant it in a nice way as he winked back at me closing the door behind him. I had a feeling that some things were best left unsaid. Mom helped me lay back onto my stomach draping the clean sheets and blankets across my waist leaving my back and part of my butt exposed. Told me it would best if I didn’t were my boxers until the wounds closed completely on my lower back at least.”

I nodded as my teeth chattered against the pillow as I turned my head to breathe. For a brief moment, reality set in that I was completely alone with her and the door was closed. I felt the pillow brush against my cheek as she removed it from under me so I could lay completely flat and came to a start, thinking she was going to suffocate me. Since she wasn’t able to drown me; instead she calmly placed the pillow on the other side of the bed. I breathed with a sigh of relief.

While she dabbed the wounds dry adding homemade herb lotion mixture made out of; Calendula, Chickweed, Cinnamon, Cloves, Geranium oil, and Comfrey root oil. That stung as I screamed against the bed. It smelled like mustard and mint leaves leaving a burning and cooling sensation. Telling me these herbs will help with the pain and heal the wounds more quickly. Leaning close to my ear saying she was sorry for last night, she didn’t know what came over her. Promising she would never try it again.

I didn’t; answer right away, trying to think what to say. It was very hard to trust someone when they try to kill you and then apologize when the words sound so hallow. But remembering what Shane said I quickly said.” If you don’t mind Mom, I would feel much better if I stuck to showering from now on.” I waited as if I might have hurt her feelings. But she said she understood, but wanted to make sure I could do it on my own first, sighing that when school starts it would certainly make her job easier, and she was busy enough as it was. Having to bath the two smaller boys and still have breakfast ready before everyone went to school.

She finished putting the ointment away and covered the rest of my waist with the blanket, leaving me my back exposed and told me it would be no use covering such a large area and the air would do a better job keeping it dry and from infection. I remained flat on the bed as she got up and said; “I will bring in something to help you sleep and even though I am against pain pills, I’ll see what I can find until I am able to go to the store tomorrow, and we will see about if your Dad will let me bring you in a tray instead of sitting you at the table; only in your boxers. But he will insist that you are least present for family home evening and family prayer. And when I come back you and I will pray to ask God to heal your wounds and making sure that you ask forgiveness for all your sins as few as they might be, but I want the stop the path you were heading by living with those sinful heathens.”

I nodded as I tried to close my eyes keeping my teeth from chattering as the warm blanket and the sun from the window warmed me enough as my teeth didn’t chatter as much. Then reached down and felt my cheek and my forehead, shaking her head as the fever burned through me. And thumbed through my scriptures smiling, seeing that I was indeed reading them, and slowly lifted my prepared report; asking me if it was alright that she read it. I said, “Yes Mom, I would like it, but I warn you; I am not very good at speech writing so it may be a little rough and my handwriting sucks.”  

She told me she was happy it was done in the first place and let her be the judge of that” Saying “it certainly couldn’t be any worse than Arthur’s.” Leaving the room and turning out the lights, leaving the door opened.