The Basin

Finally wrote something! It's been so long...

Twilight in the basin

a tangerine and cotton candy sky

it’s the chemicals that made it so

beautiful and gasping for life

asthmatic children wake up and play

 

It’s night in the basin

stars appear in vertical columns

shadows pass; flicker and dance

below people are in tin boxes and rubber soles

bouncing on the cold granite ground

 

Within this basin

in the tangerine clouds and star towers

there is a city of angels

wearing flip-flops and drinking coke

singing dreams and coughing up nightmares

until the city ignites into a cleansing flame

 

 

 

Author's Note

Critiques and comments are welcomed and appreciated!

Reviews

[Stella]

Beautifully written. You did a great job of describing everything and I could picture everything that you described in your poem. I also liked the part about drinking coke and wearing flip flops because anyone can relate to that and picture themselves. My favorite lines were the first : "Twilight in the basin
a tangerine and cotton candy sky" mainly because I never thought of describing the twilight as cotton candy but it works really well. Well Done!