My Greatest Fear

My Greatest Fear

 

 

 

 

_{My fear  isnt about}

 _{Being a lonely old hag nobody wants to be around}

 _{Getting into a crash and not being able to walk}

 _{Dying and being the devils little torture doll}

_{Spiders crawling all over my body}

_{Tight dark spaces that will crush me}

 

_{Oh no}

 

_{My fear is greater than that}

_{It’s the fear of having my family judge my writing}

_{Just think of what would be going through their minds}

 

       _{That goes through her head?}

        _{Is she really thinking about doing that?}

              _{She really needs to see a therapist!}

 

_{I don’t mind having the whole world}

_{judge my writing}

_{But when my family is reviewing it}

_{I get tight knots in my stomach} 

My Greatest Fear is..

_{If they think I’m going crazy..}

Reviews

[WeekendWriter]

The good and the bad.... I'm not very good at sugar-coating and I don't believe it helps.... I'll start with the bad.... Grammar is important, as is spelling. 'Toture', 'then' should be than and 'hole' should be 'whole' to name a couple. Little things really, but if you aspire to be published, those things could make the difference.

Okay, now the good, and there is good in it!! =) I think you give great insight into your inner thoughts and feelings. I really like the first paragraph. You portray yourself as being afraid, without being fearful.

Keep writing.... you've got something going on here =)

[Jacqueline Lopez]

I like this one, I can so relate to it.

[Christopher Todd Dallas]

I decided not to worry about the content that I was writing; a sizable fear when concerning, "What would my mother say if she saw this?"
She did see 1/2 of my collection. And I survived, without comment or derision.
After all, my mother reads those "romance novels." The ones that aren't exactly appropriate for the Cartoon Network.
You might be surprised at the reaction and the support.
I like your format here; it's perfect for this instance.

You might chop it down a bit though. There is some repetition and unnecessary prepositions.

[Dittobug]

If it helps, I can totally relate to this. Online in a community with writers who understand that you're not insane, you feel safe, but with family and friends it's... different. I fear the same.

Thank you for sharing.

[Havatara]

I loved it, but for some reason it felt like it needed to have some punctuation. Like an apostrophe after the n in isn't. And periods and commas. Stuff like that, you know? Otherwise it just feels all jumbled together with no pauses in any of the right places. Besides that, I loved what you were expressing in this poem. Very well done.

[Ramble On]

indeed.......brave girl!
im using an alias!

[Weaza]

Really descriptive. You could feel the emotion just shooting out of the poem. I love this work a lot it really got the reader to connect with the writing. I love the way you put it making it seem like everything was doubting things. Very very good read!
From,
~Weaza~

[Trish Farrell]

Wonderfully insightful. I love the way you used the different fonts to add emphasis. It's almost like a mini novel in a poem... Never stop writing Shelby.

[LSS]

I've read a few of your works and have liked them all. I don't always comment as I feel its more important to encourage you to improve your writers soul than to focus on the mechanics of writing. I read some who 'ain got no since atal' and found what they 'rote' to be either humorous or enlightening, depending on their purpose in writing. Your poem here is a good example of a good example. You have a passion to make a point, and have allowed your expression to flow in words and phrases. Your art will develop. By the way, I've found the greatest fear for a writer, is to have to stand in front of other writers and describe and defend your methods and work. Family and Peers - both serious critics.
LSS

[Taymour]

LOL
i feel that sometimes here, although i dont care that much, maybe cause i dont show them my work...
recently i decided to show them, and they said well...not bad writings..like they dont care or its normal to think about those thoughts and write them down!!
they dont know that im unique..looool

let them think what they want, it doesnt matter and it wont hold u back from reaching ur goals as a writer, and if it holds u back then the mistake is urs ;)

[Charles]

For this one: 'devil's,' is 'oh no' purposely struck through (?), in the lalst line change 'if' to 'that'. Hope your family judges you fairly.