Help Me Tonight

 

 

Hello there
 your my friend tonight aint cha?
Already taken some shots of you
Feeling my spirits heighten
memory puzzled a little like old age
Nice flame burning in my stomach
but my heart still squeezes
I thought you help with drowning
pain and sorrow
That's what I've heard
Why aint you helping me?
Please help me
I don't want to feel pain anymore
Please help me..
Jack Daniels..
please..help me..

 

Reviews

[Kevin Chelsea]

It's kind of weird to feel like I'm only one of a rare few that don't know what this feels like. Funny thing is, I know all about it since I see a lot of people doing it. Drinking to get their mind off other troubles. It's like seeing people bungee jumping without the bungee. They spin the cap off and dive right in, I go to the edge and watch them fall into a bunch of bushes. Then the next day, they're laying there, covered in scratches and bruises and mad at me for not helping them get back up.

Yep, in this world there's a lot of damned if you do and damned if you don't going around.
Good poem, gets me thinking.

[West of Everyone]

Very good, takes me back to a place I didn't want to be. Reminds me of my struggles, of my pains. Trying to let go, but never forgetting. On the brighter side, those memories that were stirred by reading this also stirred memories of leaving that place and struggling to stand on my own 2 feet.

[Lilbubba]

I like this it pushed me to the core. It is weird for this is the posion that i have used to kill my pain. I give this a gut wreching thumbs up.

[Crazy Cat Man]

Oh yes I felt like this many times. When things were really bad.....like the death my cousin and friends. I drank myself heavily to deal with the pain. I numb myself until i fall asleep. Then I wake up feeling disorianted. And I am actually not ashamed of it. Many people can relate to this piece. I love it great job

[Theresa]

I love this something I can unfortunately relate to. It's funny how you think a drink can help, but once you sober up the problems are still there topped off with a hangover to make it even worse. I love the first two lines:
"Hello there
your my friend tonight aint cha"
It's like you want it to be your friend to comfort you. I think this captures the true essence of turning to the bottle to forget. Nicely done.

[Sarah]

I liked this piece alot. I thought it was really good. I dont drink and i never have so i dont really understand how the alcohol helps but this piece made me understand more. very nice very nice. :D

[AK]

Old Jack has lots of friends I'm afraid. This piece reminds me of a couple of folks I've known over the years. It feels dark and sad, almost hopeless. But I do believe that is exactly what you were going for. Well done.

[George Love]

You hit this one square on the head, very painful as the mind of the alcoholic must personify the alcohol as the only friend that is willing or able to help them. Captured well in emotiona nd well expressed here on paper.

[Gabi Celaya]

The second line is genius, the personification of alcohol and the mispellings emphasising your wasted state of mind.
It's such a vicious circle, getting depressed and drinking to relieve that depression, but falling even further into the cycle.
I don't know what to suggest in terms of improvement, the only thing that occurs to me is changing the fourth line to "feeling the spirit heightening" which gives you a pun, but I'm not that sure if it's an improvement.
Great work : )

[Mononoke]

To drink or not to drink -that is the question. Whether tis noblier in the mind to suffer the hangovers of outraged Jack or to take something better against the sea of troubles and by mixing it with coke prevent them? :))
Kick Jacks s a*s and dance!