What Used To Be

 

 

Every time i hear your name

it shakes me to the core

shivers run up and down my spine

shaking me out of my 'alright' bubble

reminding me everyday

                                                          what used to be..

The memory's  twists my insides

like a salty  twisted Pretzel

expect pretzels are good

the twisting i feel hurts

Feels like a hammer slamming down

 on my ankle shattering  it into pieces

thats what my heart feels like

                                                          What used to be...

Sometimes i got to take a minute before i can

Go on with my life and tell myself

how meaningless you are.

                                                            Now Today..

A tight rope slowly crawls around my heart

looping its self around and around

before squeezing the very warmth out

Killing any compassion i had for you at one time

It feels like the top of my head is sliced open

with a razor allowing the butterfly's of memory's to  fly free

 What used to be 
                             is

                                   forever gone

        just like yesterday.

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Woot got out of my writers block :)

Reviews

[Havatara]

My favorite part was: The memory's twists my insides
like a salty twisted Pretzel

I just really enjoyed how you compared your feelings to pretzels.
My only problem with the poem was you didn't capitalize the I's, and I don't know if it was intentional or not, but other than that the poem was written beautifully.

[Arthur Crow]

This piece packs a mighty punch and stings sharply... rightfully so! I think you have expressed a journey that many find themselves in the midsts of. Excellent writing!

[melissa]

i loved it, yes i know writers block sucks. i just started writing again a few days ago before that i didnt write for a yr

[Patches I'm not so new..]

A poem of anguish and it seems regret for what was but no longer is but it is true that "time heals all wounds" and believe it or not you will, in time, get over this. I have suffered through three past love affairs
and am currently in a fourth the thee past I will not forget, but the one I'm in now-----

[Julio Angel Ortiz]

Congrats on overcoming the writer's block. Some spelling / grammar issues; line 9 has an error, I believe (did you mean to say "except pretzels are good..."?). A good poem, I just think it needs some revision. You're good at expressing yourself but I feel the poem is missing something. Maybe some different word choice in spots? I don't know, maybe I'm just crazy. ;-)

[�Alexa�]

Great loved it.

[The Elder]

Nicely written and very expressive of your very real feelings.
There are a few minor spelling errors that can be easily corrected with a bit of editing.
Overall a great read!

[Tate Morgan]

Beauty more than bitter tears will make the soft heart break

[Stacey Watts]

I like this the imagery the expression. Very well written. Congrats on coming out of your block. This was a great piece to come back with.

[Belthizor]

Very well written. A few minor spelling errors here and there that you would do well to correct. The rhythm started off promising

("Every time i hear your name


it shakes me to the core


shivers run up and down my spin[e]"), but it soon abandons its onward momentum, and yet, it doesn't lose it's feeling and meanings.

The final stanza (beginning "Now Today..") displays immense emotion and speaks right from the heart. Good Job.