What Used To Be

 

 

Every time i hear your name

it shakes me to the core

shivers run up and down my spine

shaking me out of my 'alright' bubble

reminding me everyday

                                                          what used to be..

The memory's  twists my insides

like a salty  twisted Pretzel

expect pretzels are good

the twisting i feel hurts

Feels like a hammer slamming down

 on my ankle shattering  it into pieces

thats what my heart feels like

                                                          What used to be...

Sometimes i got to take a minute before i can

Go on with my life and tell myself

how meaningless you are.

                                                            Now Today..

A tight rope slowly crawls around my heart

looping its self around and around

before squeezing the very warmth out

Killing any compassion i had for you at one time

It feels like the top of my head is sliced open

with a razor allowing the butterfly's of memory's to  fly free

 What used to be 
                             is

                                   forever gone

        just like yesterday.

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Woot got out of my writers block :)

Reviews

[Havatara]

My favorite part was: The memory's twists my insides
like a salty twisted Pretzel

I just really enjoyed how you compared your feelings to pretzels.
My only problem with the poem was you didn't capitalize the I's, and I don't know if it was intentional or not, but other than that the poem was written beautifully.

[sudeshna]

VERY WELL WRITTEN ... I CAN RELATE TO IT... I LOVED THE BEGINNING...

[MarkGMelvin]

wow you go girl
peace
wm melvin

[turtlegirlluver]

Wow, this is a very well written piece. The emotions are so raw and very relatable. I love the strong story that is being played out through your memories and new emotions with this person. Wonderful job!

[Sarah]

wow this is really really amazing. i can totay relate to it. i feel the same way lol. amazing job


:D

[ace]

very well written nice job good emotion

[Warrick]

As others have said; this is a very expressive piece. ... We all feel the constrictions of old feelings. And we can never truly progress forward until we're able to untie the knots and let go.

And writers block can just go bugger off! Noose should be around its neck... nyeh. ;)

[Fallen Angel]

i can really relate to this. very well written

[Jola]

expressive poem ... words in this poem talk about feelings ... maybe not met ... interesting form thoughts .. good work.

[PaiteAuthor]

Wow! This is really well written! You are a very talented writer and this was great! There were a few minor spelling errors (trust me, my spelling errors are worse though. haha.) but besides that this was absolutely amazing. Really. Great! Keep writing!


~MEL

[Lee E. Powell]

I'm not that great at giving reviews, especially with poetry but i did notice a couple of things that I'll suggest on...

-- Killing any compassion i had for you at one time
Would this flow better if it was written something like this?..
-- Killing any compassion i once had for you.

I find that the fewer words used the better. Just have to make the few words count.
I liked this poem.