What Used To Be

 

 

Every time i hear your name

it shakes me to the core

shivers run up and down my spine

shaking me out of my 'alright' bubble

reminding me everyday

                                                          what used to be..

The memory's  twists my insides

like a salty  twisted Pretzel

expect pretzels are good

the twisting i feel hurts

Feels like a hammer slamming down

 on my ankle shattering  it into pieces

thats what my heart feels like

                                                          What used to be...

Sometimes i got to take a minute before i can

Go on with my life and tell myself

how meaningless you are.

                                                            Now Today..

A tight rope slowly crawls around my heart

looping its self around and around

before squeezing the very warmth out

Killing any compassion i had for you at one time

It feels like the top of my head is sliced open

with a razor allowing the butterfly's of memory's to  fly free

 What used to be 
                             is

                                   forever gone

        just like yesterday.

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Woot got out of my writers block :)

Reviews

[Havatara]

My favorite part was: The memory's twists my insides
like a salty twisted Pretzel

I just really enjoyed how you compared your feelings to pretzels.
My only problem with the poem was you didn't capitalize the I's, and I don't know if it was intentional or not, but other than that the poem was written beautifully.

Wow...i'm at a loss for words. I love the imagery of the rope coiling around the heart, immediately made me want to draw it out. And the ending...that's powerful. Sorry that this isn't really constructive.

Hope to get around to throwing my story into chapters today so it will be easier to read.

[Christina May Shanaberg]

An enjoyable poem to read and a wonderful ending. Great writing!

[Demetria.Ro$e.Hathaway]

beautiful poem :-)

[Coyote Poetry]

A excellent poem. One of my favorite lines in writing. What used to be. Description and your story in the poem made this a powerful poem. Thank you.

[Huggy Bear]

That is some mighty powerful mojo you be writing:) I like how you creating an interesting structure for your poem. You are really creative.

[Matt]

i love the line about your alright bubble..
we all have these.
and we feel so,, insecure when those bubbles burst.
stunning write.

[Athena Suleiman]

Man oh man I know exactly how you feel. All too well. Carzy how one person can infiltrate your mind to that extent. Sometimes you don't want to lose them, but usually it's for the better.

[Eternally Elemental]

Eek!

The slicing of the head made me 'eek'. But interesting contrast with butterflies coming out. That had to be my favourite stanza. Because what used to be is finally free from the mind. Sure you had to slice it out, but the recovery can happen beautifully.

Angsty, but hopeful and liberating. Refreshing ending. Nice.

[Krazy On The Outside]

I love it!
I like the imagery you used!