Tonight [Another Version]

Another Version of my other poem 'tonight'

Tonight

Tonight I will spill blood

Tonight I await evil

Tonight I will kill evil

Tonight there will be blood on my hands

Tonight evil will never return

Tonight I will be haunted forever

Tonight the love will die

Tonight I will kill my husband

Tonight is the end



 

Author's Note

This is another Version of my other poem 'Tonight' Just a little bit of changes here and there.
Like this one better or the other?

I also dont know if i have it in the right Genre.
please help on that
thank you

Reviews

[Blue Lynel]

I think they are both pretty good, but if you have an original, I'd be predisposed to that one because that's just how I am. I make a poem once and stick with that. This one isn't too bad but the other one seems to be more descriptive, given that it is 12 lines long and this one only 10. Having read the other one first gives me more an image than this one has, but I believe that ultimately it is up to you which one you like better. Viel Gl�ck! (good luck)

[Kgosi]

your scaring me.... is this just poetry or is this for real?.... anyways, creepy, but graet poem...

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I would have done this differently.
I dislike all the repetition of "Tonight"
I think once or twice is plenty.
My version would be something like...





Tonight

I make the kill
Blood will spill
I lay in ambush
For evil

Murderous intentions
Scarlet hands
Dying love
Dead man

Haunted forever
Never to return
Husband slain
Hatred burns

Tonight

.......................Hmmm, husband killer huh? Uh huh. lol