Tonight.

About Abuse, revenge, & ending being abused

Tonight

Tonight the love will die

Tonight I will spill blood

Tonight I hunt a man

Tonight I will kill that man

Tonight I will kill evil

Tonight I will be hunted forever

Tonight my blood will spill

Tonight there will be blood on my hands

Tonight evil will never return

Tonight I will kill my husband

Tonight is the end

 

Author's Note

I wrote this when i was small
I've never been abused.
i shocked my parents and the female i was in the writing group with this writing.
but hey it got published in the newspaper
tell me what you guys think.

I also dont know if i have it in the right Genre.
please help on that
thank you

Reviews

[Martin See]

I think context is very important with writing...i think what you wrote was brilliant if it was a dialogue, say to someone like the SOS on the phone or the cops...sometimes the best writing is straight forward and simple like yours, however if to add more punch you might like to contextualise this as a phone call dialogue/monologue...the impact then would have been a lot greater...imagine hearing those simple phrases but from someone in real life...it would be powerful...thanks for sharing your poem with us...

[[untitled]]

ouch...its a dark write.. but i like how you wrote it...straight to the point...well writen...

[Blue Lynel]

In my comprehension of this poem, there is a progression of events taking place, and I am a very big fan of those, as I have a few poems myself which utilize that tactic. I like this quite a bit as it is very nice, with just a splash of morbidness. Lass dich viel begl�ckw�nschen! (Many congratulations) :)

[kewlbluetiger]

The repitition of the word tonight is very interesting and adds intensity. It works for a short poem like this, but if it was any longer it could be annoying, your timing was just right. It's very abstract and dark, which works. Grats on getting it published (and shocking your family)! I look forward to reading more.

[We are young.]

This is was quite amazing, I think a little more of it would have been nice, but for being little this was wrote quite well.

[RainbowFlames]

i liked it but i think you could have wrote it a little better, for instance, when you wrote "tonight i will spill blood" and then five lines later wrote "tonight my blood will spill." in my opinion the "tonight my blood will spill" should have came right after "tonight i will spill blood." it would flow better and wouldn't be as sloppy or unorganized. otherwise, it was okay.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Ah, you were a kid when you wrote this? Pretty advanced thinking for a kid.

[Josh]

anger is a strong emotion, and for you to be able to be flexible enough to understand what it's like to have that much anger is a gift in itself. You'd be good for writing evil/deranged characters in novels or something. :)

[Call Me Cash]

WOW!
Bloody awesome! I love darker poetry well, darker anything really, so I LOVED THIS!