Tonight.

About Abuse, revenge, & ending being abused

Tonight

Tonight the love will die

Tonight I will spill blood

Tonight I hunt a man

Tonight I will kill that man

Tonight I will kill evil

Tonight I will be hunted forever

Tonight my blood will spill

Tonight there will be blood on my hands

Tonight evil will never return

Tonight I will kill my husband

Tonight is the end

 

Author's Note

I wrote this when i was small
I've never been abused.
i shocked my parents and the female i was in the writing group with this writing.
but hey it got published in the newspaper
tell me what you guys think.

I also dont know if i have it in the right Genre.
please help on that
thank you

Reviews

[Martin See]

I think context is very important with writing...i think what you wrote was brilliant if it was a dialogue, say to someone like the SOS on the phone or the cops...sometimes the best writing is straight forward and simple like yours, however if to add more punch you might like to contextualise this as a phone call dialogue/monologue...the impact then would have been a lot greater...imagine hearing those simple phrases but from someone in real life...it would be powerful...thanks for sharing your poem with us...

[Robotic Assistance]

I enjoyed it! Very brutal! And creepy but enough to make you want to read the next line! You're awesome ^^

[Tori]

Wow..amazing. It's creepy, but I love creepy stuff. BLood...glorious. When first reading it, I thought of werewolves and vampires...mostly werewolves. But after the last line, it's true meaning became clear. Awesome job and keep it up!

[Alexis]

this poem is pretty intense
it gave details but not too much
which just kept me guessing. you
Defiantly did a good job:)

[Vesa Lee]

Chilling.
My eyes grew wider and wider with each line, the last few especially.
Upfront and brutal.
No flourishes or flowy language used here, and I really think that's what makes it good.
Congratulations on it's being published. ^-^
It's a great piece.

[Sean M. Addams]

like this one also but the second one is pretty with imagery and detail but overall both version are good....

[Rosemary]

woah! i LOVED it! Its really great i thought at the beginning it was gonna be like a werewolf or something. :D
Would you mind reveiwing my poem "I Dont Wanna Die"

[Crowley]

Tough subject to write on, definitely like the first version better a little less direct, lets me draw my own conclusions a little more. Good job...keep writing, keep posting. Thanks.

[Starting Over]

Wow this was powerful! I liked it... it doesnt have a lot of words but its good!

[V]

I think the second one was better. This didn't seem to flow as well, and I didn't get the same impact from it. But that's just me. Sometimes when revising a poem it can get better, other times it just doesn't work. I think it worked for you.
Great poem for a kid, though. Well Done.
V.