Tonight.

About Abuse, revenge, & ending being abused

Tonight

Tonight the love will die

Tonight I will spill blood

Tonight I hunt a man

Tonight I will kill that man

Tonight I will kill evil

Tonight I will be hunted forever

Tonight my blood will spill

Tonight there will be blood on my hands

Tonight evil will never return

Tonight I will kill my husband

Tonight is the end

 

Author's Note

I wrote this when i was small
I've never been abused.
i shocked my parents and the female i was in the writing group with this writing.
but hey it got published in the newspaper
tell me what you guys think.

I also dont know if i have it in the right Genre.
please help on that
thank you

Reviews

[Martin See]

I think context is very important with writing...i think what you wrote was brilliant if it was a dialogue, say to someone like the SOS on the phone or the cops...sometimes the best writing is straight forward and simple like yours, however if to add more punch you might like to contextualise this as a phone call dialogue/monologue...the impact then would have been a lot greater...imagine hearing those simple phrases but from someone in real life...it would be powerful...thanks for sharing your poem with us...

[H-Jonesy]

Very powerful piece, it shows what someone might be thinking right before they get their revenge. Nice work.

[Lilly]

A simple but very strong and powerful piece of writing.

[Coyote Poetry]

You had me worry. I read your Author note and felt better. A woman anger can be dangerous. You had talent as a child. Poem is very strong and to the point.
Coyote

[Surrealstorm]

This is a very strong piece of work and I love the simplicity of it. The last line is my favorite "Tonight is the end." The finality of that statement really makes the poem echo in the soul of the reader. Great write!

[BelowABridge]

really strong topic and I felt that the lines

"Tonight I will be hunted forever

Tonight my blood will spill

Tonight there will be blood on my hands"

connect to the uncertainty repugnance that humans feel about killing/ harming others and moral feelings about revenge, but in the end the task is still fulfilled. also the repitition of different lines and connecting the actions to "you" and "me" by using both in very similar statements makes it seem like she is saying that all the things he has done to her is just going to be turned around.

Very eerie and simple but still strong.

[Odrah]

Abuse is a terrible thing for anyone to have to suffer through and, unfortunately, things like this do eventually happen... when finally the abused have had enough. This is very powerful for people who have experienced the pain that comes from any form of abuse from a person that is supposed to love and care for them. You've found the voice of determination that comes with losing your mind to hurt.

Well done.

[Lee E. Powell]

Good job. Like I said before, I'm not great at giving reviews and if i had to actually write a poem myself, I'd probably just start bleeding out LOL. But I liked this and I liked that you wrote about something important.

[Elvina CZq]

well... if I were your parents, I would definitely be shocked having to know that my little girl could write such poem at such young age. haha. Anyway, what I think about this is that, this is quite creepy. I'd picture a woman was saying this while breathing furiously but in silence. And of course, this is pure revenge. If for an adult to think and write such writing, thousands of thoughts would just filled in his/her mind, and this adult might not come to the point. But this one, is just pure, straight to point, and wanting to just accomplish her 'mission'.

Not bad for a writing. haha..

[lawrence bear]

dark and a bit scary, i wouldn't want to piss you off. lol
or my blood will be on your hands, lol.
good piece, I loved it

[Bare trees]

Well it certainly is a powerful piece of poetry isn't it. However, I wouldn't want to be your husband. LOL
Good and scary job Shelby.