The Last Stop

A cops last stop.

 

Laying on my back

I stare up at the dark sky

Pain rushing around my body

This was supposed to be a normal stop

Nothing more and nothing less

Hand out a ticket and be on your way.

But no, you had to grab that gun

And Fire it as if I wasn’t human

I’m not an animal nor a beast.

How could you be so cruel?

Now I lay on my back wondering if

I’ll see another day.

See my children and wife…

Watch them smile when I walk through that door

I wonder if I’ll make it.

To you it was just another fight

I wonder if you care

How would you feel if you were me?

So you have a cold heart?

Do you even care that you just shot a human?

It seems like you don’t. Your speeding off

Probably thanking god your not going to have to pay

A 50 dollar ticket.

I can feel my life draining and wonder if anybody would care

Of course my wife and children would

But would those who I served and protected care?

Those who made fun of us getting a coffee when they where behind us also getting one?

Shockingly we’re just like you. But instead of jumping in our cars and

going to our office’s

With out a care in the world

We pin a badge to our shirt... carry a gun and meet dangerous people all the time

Now with my final thoughts wondering if you care I close my eyes and bid you goodbye.

 

Author's Note

Something i wrote awhile back

Reviews

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

Oh what a moving tale. Those last moments captured with such elegance. This reminds me of a song by the Bare Naked Ladies in which they say 'You are the last thing on my mind.' Which means to me not that I am not thinking about you but like the person in this poem that you are the last thing I am thinking about in those final moments - children and wife. Nicely penned. Very thoughtful.
Light,
Siddartha

[Dante Yurei]

Ohh very nice. I like the way it's writen. This is something that happens all the time, but almost no one stops to think about it. Liked it, well done!

[Voice]

So sad and so true. It is horrible to think about the dangers police men and women face every day trying to keep us safe. My Spanish teacher's husband is a cop and it reminds me to say a little prayer every night to keep our officers safe. This poem really makes a person think. Great write!!!

Voice

[Trish Farrell]

As you know, probably my favorite poem of yours. It is one that does make you stop and think of people who put their lives on the line daily for people. Even more interesting is the fact that you wrote this heartfelt poem on this subject without even being related to anyone in law enforcement. Bravo

[Charles]

OK, I've looked at a few of your poems with the idea that I'd fulfill your request about help with spelling and grammar. Let me tell you first of all that you're no weaker in this area than a lot of folks who post here (more on this later). In this poem the disconsorting thing is the change in subject, characterized by saying 'your' in line 6 when I think you meant 'my' and the total shift in lines 27-32 (now it's we and us and our instead of the I and me who started the poem). So, for the editing: lying in line 1, weren't in line 8, lie in line 11, you're in line 22, offices in line 29, and without in line 30. Haaving pointed out those things, I'm still left wondering about the line (16) 'to you it was just another fight.' I don't see where the fight comes in - earlier it was a 'stop.' Form works well for this topic (short lines early fading into longer lines later). language is clear and appropriate for thr topic. Good work. I think I'll not 'edit' any more of your work (unless it ties into reviewing somehow) since you're up to par with many writers here and since the editing seems so trivial in comparison to reviewing. I'll keep reading your work, though, and will probably comment from time to time.

[Juan]

We tend to forget about the people and focus on the uniform. A story very well written,even if it brought on a sad face :( lol

[MattWheatus]

Really interesting to see support for the law officers point of view, when so much modern writing on crime glamourises the criminal - good job

[Gabi Celaya]

"Laying on my back" should be "Lying on my back"
"And Fire it as if I wasn’t human" Fire is as a verb here, not a noun, so it shouldn't be capitalised. Even if it was a noun, then it probably wouldn't need to be capitalised.
"Now I lay on my back wondering if" Same as line one, should be "lie"
"It seems like you don’t. Your speeding off" Again, should be "You're" not "Your".
"Probably thanking god your not going to have to pay" See above.
"But would those who I served and protected care?" I'd drop the word "care" here. The repetition of the rhyme from two lines ago makes it seem slightly monotonous and the meaning of the sentence is still the same even without it.
"Those who made fun of us getting a coffee when they where behind us also getting one?" "were" not "where" and I think you meant "for getting a coffee"
"going to our office’s" No apostrophe need.
"With out a care in the world" "Without" is one word.

[Hollywood]

Very interesting poem. :]

[LostInThought ♥]

This is great! A lot of people take police officers for granted, not even realizing they are keeping us safe, and things like this do happen.... I loved it great write!

[Allegra Pescatore]

great poem. You chose a very moving moment to capture. I think it could be made even more effective and dramatic with a little editing. There are places where it gets a little wordy, which takes form the flow of the poem, and places where a line break might be appropriate. However, it is a great piece and I truly enjoyed reading it.