Untamed and wild

About Fire

Untamed and wild.

 

I stare at it.

Watching it grow

Slowly making it’s way up the hallway

Flames eating up the wooden floors

Its growing more wild and untamed

By the minute the hallway turns into a fiery hell

Flashing of flames dance in the window frames

The song of hissing and popping sounds

As it eats its way through the house

The crowd comes and gathers to watch

as the fire  violently tears  its way through the house

EARLY in the morning the remains from the flames show in the morning light.

Making a grim reminder that fire has a mind of its on.

Untamed and wild.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A excellent poem. Fire is very dangerous and had it own will. Description was very good. Ending was perfect. Untamed and wild.
Coyote

[D. Pesek]

solid piece, a spreading fire is a metphor for so many other things in life...one main one being gossip. I like how the poem is open enough to be anything the reader wants it to be. well written, nice job.

[Pat M]

I'm nowhere near enough skilled in poetry to give an educated critique, however I find this as hypnotic as the fire it describes. Love the rhythm and I've always been a sucker for evocative alliteration...

"...Flashing of flames dance in the window frames..."

...best line of the lot.
(Slight typo in line 11. Just thought I'd mention it.)

[Eric Cox]

A very good poem. I love your referring to fire as "untamed and wild."

[Jarrai]

This poem isn't half bad. I think however, you could revise and make this much better. The first two lines are unnecessary. I think it would sound better to rewrite the third line as your first line, maybe add the first and second line after that, for more impact. Also, my 11th grade English teacher had always taught us to make poems essential words only, cutting away the unnecessary (although that only works for classic type poems, where as slam poems are the opposite in a way) in your case, if I were you, I would not use any word twice, like house... you could always look up another word for house so that it's essentially the same... Overall I like it, and I might go write a poem in similar a fashion now lol

[Alex Caine]

So, this was a VERY descriptive write, i like it a lot. Your imagery is so potent, and so real. I like the line "Flashing of flames dance in the window frames." Very rhythmic.
Just to point out to very minor things: "its" should be "it's" and "teras" should be "tears". Minor typos :)
All in all, this is a great piece. Fantastic job!

[Kelley]

Ok I hope your not a Pyro ......lol
I like your description of how a fire
can get way out of control.
You seam to be able to make anything
sound beautiful, even the destruction of fire.

Great write thanks for sharing.

Kelley

[Kevin Andros]

The fire sure is untamed. Lovely piece of work. One should be very careful while handling fire.

[Don Coorough]

Excellent writing! This expresses something everyone can relate to in an extremely concrete and open way. Beautiful evocation.

[Eagle Cruagh]

We write from the same perspective.
I refer you to , Hell Fire and The Saga of
Mickey and Bob.

Your writing is sharp, specific and intense.
You create a situation that readers can see,
taste and smell.

Great work, well done.

-----=- Eagle Cruagh