Truth

There are no words anymore.
There are no thoughts.
How strange it is to be standing on the ruins of once great dreams.
How in a single day,
in a single hour,
so many things can go haywire.
It seems they all knew before I did.
As if at the age of nine, my life would be defined.
I lie facing the wall.
It will not betray me.
It will not tell me I am trash.
It will not tell me it never wanted me.
It will not look at me with cold eyes.
The wall has no secrets.
Take a drag from my cigarette.
It will not lie to me.
I know it intends to kill me.
I know it has no pity.
I know it doesn't care.
Wrap my arms around myself.
They will comfort me.
They will touch me without obligation.
They will cradle me when I am weak.
They will break my fall.
Curl up into a ball.
I am safe.
I am quiet.
I am within myself.
The tears fall.
They run cold.
They visit every night.
They are there.
They know me.
They release me.
They put me to sleep.
Screams into the night.
They release me.
They break me.
They rebuild me.
Dream away.
They fulfill me.
They give to me.
They take from me.
A fall.