Young Love

Young love

 Like volcanoes

Tornadoes

Creation, destruction

And you and I

Are in love.

Snow falling slowly

Hail pounding pavement

You and I touch

And explosions

Erosions

Erupting, falling away

And we control it all.

Hearts beat

Bombs fall

Lips brush

Fires rage

You and I make waves.

Clothes fly away

Bodies come together

The sky falls in

And avalanches cascade.

So why, when you shut the door,

Was there only air

And the drip of the sink?

Reviews

[.shalynn.009.]

Nicely done. I like the contrasting lines following each other "Snow falling softly/Hail pounding pavement" as well as the alliteration. I just love alliteration. Ending the poem on a question emphasized well how abrupt and confusing the break-up was. And I like how the structure of the poem kind of looked like falling, the way you set it up. Adds a nice touch to the idea that the relationship is coming to an end.

[J.M. Walsh]

I really liked the start especially. It set the poem up really well and the imagery throughout is fabulous. Its a qunique poem and I haven't read anything like it before.

[Cassie Meno]

LOVE it! This gave me chills, Shelby! I love the rhythm and how it's so succinct. It really captures the emotion (as best as possible, anyway) of a first real romance and how it feels like everything around is exploding