Stairway to life

A poem I had written 2 years ago. Read it after so long and felt like posting it

She entered the world,

in her mother's lap,safe and curled

As she grew, she became a mature young lady,

never was her life, dull and shady

Then came the dreaded part,

where all her problems took a start

Came the Angel of Death one day

she lent her hand and said "I've heard you pray,

come with me

and from all these problems,I'll set you free."

Thoughtfully,the girl said,"No, I'm fine

I'll handle these problems for they are mine."

Left the Angel of Death upset,

the meaning of her precious life,the girl did get.

She took a stairway to life,

took HER stairway to life.

Author's Note

Please read and review! Thank you!

Reviews

[KarMarBar]

It's rare that when someone is going through tough times that they refuse the devil's invitation. I'm glad she chose the other path. Great write!

[rhymeaway]

Thank you for reading!

[Bohrium Guy]

Very inspirational and unique. Thanks for sharing this piece.

~Rob~

[rhymeaway]

Thank you for reading!

[annalysiar]

Lovely and positive great write

[rhymeaway]

I'm glad you liked it :)

[Willard Wells]

and in the end a stairway to heaven. A very lovely piece held for the ages until the moment was right. Thanks for sharing.

[rhymeaway]

Thank you for reading!

[wordman]

so she chose life,and she worked on her problems

[Bear]

Critique: (In her mother's laps) lap, she only has one
(never was her life, dull and shady) dull of shady
(And as she lent her hand "I've heard you pray, come with me and from all these problems, I'll set you free.") As an author, it is up to you to leave little of the detail up to your readers and here you left out the detail of who is speaking, consider this:
And as she lent her hand
Death said, "I've heard you pray
You need only come with me
and from all these problems, I'll set you free."

Review: Love the story line and the strong moral at the end and you have a nice rhyme scheme. The last two lines is a great idea but using the same word messes up you rhyme scheme. Maybe if you added two more lines you would be able to stay with your scheme. An example: She took a stairway to life, enduring all the strife. Then took her stairway to live, enjoying all it had to give. These are just suggestions.
Very creative and imaginative concept, it was a pleasure to read. Clap! Clap! Clap!

[rhymeaway]

Thank you so much! I'll surely keep it in mind. Oh and the example is amazing! It's great to hear from talented poets such as yourself :)

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good tale in the poetry.
"She took a stairway to life,
took HER stairway to life."
The young girl made the right decision. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[rhymeaway]

Thank you for taking the time to read it! :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Was my pleasure and you are welcome.

[Southern_Writes]

Goosebumps.

Sometimes we think it would be so much easier to just end this life, no more pain, nor more hurt and struggle. Truth is that it would be so easy for us, but what about those we leave behind? I think life is worth the struggle, because without out it, this life would be meaningless.

Loved this piece

[rhymeaway]

Thank you so much! It's scary when people give up and you can't help because you don't know what they're going through

[Southern_Writes]

they are scared to say anything, because they fear judgement.

[McBear]

Very deep. Full of meaning. What I got from it was she wanted to tackle her own problems?

[rhymeaway]

yes. Thank you!