Coming to America (Part 1) Poetic Story

A young man comes to America with nothing.... Becomes homeless.... then makes it big.

I came to america with a dollar and a dream
I worked honestly didn't try to scheme
I soon realized this was not the american way
I should get what I want nomatter what it takes
I sat on a street corner cause noone would hire me
And if they did it was for one day then they fired me
So I sat on that street corner holding that sign
"Will work for food" sacrificing pride
A quarter here a quarter there it really adds up
Till in 1968 I had fifty thousands bucks
There was only one thing I knew fully how to do
My country was known here for their "Amazing" food
For six months I had sat outside this vacant store front
Keeping others from looking with how bad I stunk
Finally one day I packed up my cardboard tent
And in search of a better life I went

I wandered into a store the name I won't tell
But they wouldn't sell to me because of my unusual smell
So I wandered futher till I found a shop that didn't care
And to this day I still shop there
I bought some new clothes the cashier was so sweet
To think I'd never met her if I'd shopped down the street
She ignored my awful smell and kept me talking
As through isle after isle we kept walking
I told her my days of being homless and a street corner setter
Were over I was going to make my life better
She rang up my sale and asked if I'd sit
For five more minutes while she finished her shift...

Author's Note

This is still a rough draft at this point so please don't rate based on grammar but instead story and content such as that. Thanks!

Reviews

[Tomás Ó C..]

Is this your true life story, or just a poem? Either way, it has got good flow and reads well

[Gabrielle E. M. T.]

For a rough draft this is very good.
I loved the ryhming in this piece.
Very nice rythme.
Great flow of words.
Very very interesting.
Nice story within this poem.
Wonderfully written.
Great Job!
^_^