This was written because of a very good friend of mine and me getting together by the end of it we were having cops called on us when we used to be great friends... p.s.....A. this is an acrostic....
I hate the way you look at me, like you're looking at a toad.
Hate you never having answers for questions you SHOULD know.
Abhor the constant criticism of everything I do,
Taking a backseat to perfect, shiny you.
Everything about you now makes me cringe.
Leave every word at the door, if I hear one more, I'll come unhinged.
Outcomes haven't looked good, in this love affair of ours.
Very, very bad in fact, my heart carries the scars.
Everything has reached its end; it makes me quite blue.
Quite well done! It feels like you put yourself into your work... which is what I really liked about it. It was cute, despite the hatred. H, L, and E feel a bit awkward though. They seem to throw the flow of just a bit.
Your poem is structured in a way where there are four points of emphasis per line:
I HATE the way
you LOOK at me
like you're LOOKING
at a TOAD
(Caps being the emphasized words)
All other sections of your poem follow that same format.
example:
abHOR the constant CRITisism of EVerything I DO (the emphasis doesn't have to be on an entire word)
H, L, and E, however, break the format. H and E both have 5 points, and L's four points seem like you've tried to cram just a bit too much in. I'm not sure if you meant to do that, since H & E are the opening and closing to the acrostic body, and although I like the idea, I personally don't feel as it if much helps the flow.
Either way, you still did well, and overall the structure doesn't take away to your message. Keep up the good work!
A very creative acrostic that was enjoyable to read. I have never explored this form so I am not in a position to critique. It conveyed well your message to your reader. I read the featured review and since I don't know the "point system" I give it a 10. LOL
Quite well done! It feels like you put yourself into your work... which is what I really liked about it. It was cute, despite the hatred. H, L, and E feel a bit awkward though. They seem to throw the flow of just a bit.
Your poem is structured in a way where there are four points of emphasis per line:
I HATE the way
you LOOK at me
like you're LOOKING
at a TOAD
(Caps being the emphasized words)
All other sections of your poem follow that same format.
example:
abHOR the constant CRITisism of EVerything I DO (the emphasis doesn't have to be on an entire word)
H, L, and E, however, break the format. H and E both have 5 points, and L's four points seem like you've tried to cram just a bit too much in. I'm not sure if you meant to do that, since H & E are the opening and closing to the acrostic body, and although I like the idea, I personally don't feel as it if much helps the flow.
Either way, you still did well, and overall the structure doesn't take away to your message. Keep up the good work!
That is awesome! Perfect flow, nothing I would change about it. Short and powerful message. Funny how you can use hate to let someone know how much you loved them. I absolutely love this piece, it's one of my favorites of yours. Now this is a Frances piece, well done love, well done!
hate is such a strong word...but the emotion it puts ou in your words rings true...love is a very strong power tht can either rip or mend...I feel sorry for your loss of both a friend and a love....may in the future you find your true happiness
I am an International Bestselling Author of romance, but on here mainly publish poetry I write when the mood strikes. I started this account long before publishing my first book and am finding many th.. more..