The need.

Just like in say my name, imagine the scenery and enjoy.

I see you across the room, 

I see the people around you, 

all laughing, spilling their drinks, 

your self esteem likes the attention, doesn't it? 

Well, you surely have mine, handsome. 

I see the chocolate in your eyes

not the milky one of your iris, 

I'm focused on the other one. 

on the dark, bitter, arabian one. 

The one you keep in your mouth, 

delicately rolling, tasting

with eyes slightly closed, 

zoning away from the crowd. 

I see your lips, curled in a friendly smile, 

and I also see the smirk hiding. 

That half smile, the twist. 

I raise my left eyebrow at you. 

My friend sees the one 

saying you're hilarious, 

but you manage to focus on facts, 

and it surely is a fact 

that I'm challenging you. 

Your eyelids lower as I walk closer. 

Reviews

[Gaurav]

In a jiffy, the perplexed attraction fly and become an instant urge to touch. Nice work here.

[PoeticSorcery]

well that was certainly vibrant!

[WordKnurd]

I really enjoyed this poem! It showed well the immediate tension which can exist between two people on opposite sides of a room. I particularly loved stanzas two and three since they are so beautiful and descriptive. I have a small problem with stanza one which is that it almost sums up the rest of the poem for me. Instead of telling me that he he is surrounded by people and enjoys the attention, SHOW me. Describe a throng of adoring gold diggers. Describe a man basking in the attentions of beautiful women. Also, I think you may want to rething the use of the words "half smile" and "smirk." I think, especially in a context like this, those words are a little cliche. That being said, you've done something pretty great here. I loved the ending as well. I love that it leaves the story open to all kinds of possibilities as to where this relationship between the man and the speaker is going. Keep up the good work, and if you get a chance please review one of mine.

[WordKnurd]

P.S. This sound like it was written by a native English speaker. Well done!

[T. Edana Talbott]

This was really really good haha. Very sensual and descriptive. Get him, girl! xD

[Davidgeo]

Ha... drugs. Most poems about drugs on this site are written by people who clearly don't do any drug of any kind.

Anyway, I like drugs too. Hedonistic people are usually the best people.

[sheandherself]

I don't really remember ever saying this was about drugs, but ok I can live with that. And I have to agree w that statement, lol.
Well, thanks.

[Davidgeo]

I confuse a lot of things with drugs... I'll get the next one right. Especially if it's about drugs.

[Chris]

An "interesting" look at ...attraction

[sheandherself]

Thanks for your review

[sinNsincerity]

Nice imagery here, I could see it all.

[sheandherself]

That was just my goal, thanks

[iamshadowine]

"I see your lips, curled in a friendly smile,
and I also see the smirk hiding.
That half smile, the twist. "

The eye catcher of this poem! excellent one! :D
keep writing :D

[sheandherself]

Yea I wasn't really confident about that, so Thanks for picking it!)

[james miles]

'I see your lips, curled in a friendly smile,
and I also see the smirk hiding.
That half smile, the twist'...Love this!

[sheandherself]

Thank you!)

[😂]

I wish I experienced what you depict with this writing in person. I wish I was in a place full of folks, partying, feeding my envious ego, and either knowing/not knowing a girl is eyeing me from afar. I love how you bring up the ego minded guy. I also really like your ending line...

"your eyelids lower as I walk closer."

I don't know if English is a language you've used for a long time, but you pull it off very well. Great work!

[sheandherself]

Well yeah, this stuff is usually kinda fun, but can get boring after time.
Thank you! xx

[😂]

Thank you too! ^^