Take My Breath Away

Something I wrote recently, just as a means to express myself. Hope you enjoy.

Take My Breath Away
© 2012 by SheaRyhai

Who we were or how we met
All the things I didn’t let
Stop me - from falling in love with you.
All those things I didn’t see
Now appear so suddenly
But too late - as I’m swallowed by regret.

How was I fooled every time?
This game you played, it crossed the line,
But you still think the victim here was you?

Nothing kills me quite as well as you
When you take my breath away
When you take my breath away…

Nothing kills me quite as bad as you
Please just make it go away
God just take it all away…

Who are you to justify
Every choice that made me cry.
It’s your life - and I don’t matter now.
Who am I to cross your mind
I’m just the trash you left behind
And someday - you’ll sit back and wonder how.

Who was right and Who was wrong
Who was weak and Who was strong
Who gave up everything
Who lost it all
Who broke my heart
Who let me fall??

Nothing kills me quite as well as you
When you take my breath away
When you take my breath away…

Nothing kills me quite as bad as you
Please just make it go away
God just take it all away…

Until there’s nothing left-
Not a memory or a name-
Not this slowly fading pain-
I don’t even want to think of him again.

Who am I, to reflect on the past-
What we had just couldn’t last-
And just between you and me
I’m better off because…

Nothing kills me quite as well as you
When you take my breath away
When you take my breath away…

Author's Note

I broke from my usual formatting for this, since it came to me as a song in my head I just went with it.

Reviews

[Just Jayren]

The 1st thing I noticed about this was your ability to make this piece seem like an elaborate speech...

'Nothing kills me quite as well as you
When you take my breath away
When you take my breath away…'

That part defo stood out for me, such a clever twist on the phrase and the reapted line just helps entrench the emotion... Good work

[Sarah]

Its realy good and very emotional

[Gabrielle Travis]

After I finished and read your A/N it made more sense with the metering. I like how the poem invoked the age old emotions of heart break, rejection, and self empowerment. No matter how toxic relationships can be or how much it benefits from their severing, the pain and almost addictiveness towards the detriment, is what we're left with. Realizing this is never helpful of course, as in my opinion the heart and head are very rarely friends. I liked it and reread again to a tune, something Taylor Swift (which is funny since she's not my cup of tea), and it was great. Thanks for sharing! Poetry is very personal and more exposing of our inner selfs than fiction :-)

[WenD]

really enjoyed this, felt the pain and regret and frustration. Enjoyed it much, must be because I can identify

[blondecat84]

Wowie! That is a fantastic one. On the trajectory of this, I hope you are making music with this as well! Such bold and daring work, you are a paragon!

[Adalynn]

Very touching and wonderful read. I can't wait to read more of your work.

Adalynn

[A!ex]

I'm really impressed by the simplicity and flow of your poem (or song, but who cares?). I like how you formatted the first stanza. The verses are so bitter and good that it pains me to read them... especially when you say
"Who am I to cross your mind
I’m just the trash you left behind"
Here's a smile as a payoff :)

[Starr]

I love the way this piece flows, but doesn't compensate (sp?) rhyme for meaning. I believe almost everyone could relate to this in some way.
Also, I agree with JustARandomGirl. This does feel sort of like the lyrics of a song.

[Bare trees]

The repetition of the phrases makes it suitable as a refrain whether in song or poem. You've drawn up feelings from your past that left you cold and you've used your words as a good outlet.

It's usually not till after we've experienced the course of separation that we look back and see things from a different point of view. Nevertheless, the pain can linger long after.

Watch the line:I don’t even want to think of him again. It should be think of you again. Remember you're talking TO him, not about him.

[Jaslin K]

'Nothing kills me quite as well as you' is a powerful sentence. It wraps up the whole poem in a good way.. And it shows the power someone can have over another being.. Very nice