Hear The Cries Of Wolves (Trijan Refrain)

Hear the cries of wolves from the past

Distant lands, long ago

Howls go unheard as death does last

Homeless nowhere to go

Many hunters in their homes roam

Thus land they steal as land to own

Many hunters

Many hunters

Come and kill for sport, this is known.

 

Hear the cries of wolves from the past

Skeletons which remain

That crows scavenged, they ate so fast

Feel their sorrows and pain

Lands of our fathers before us

These hunters a wolf must not trust

Lands of our fathers

Lands of our fathers

Needs to carry one, are a must.

 

Hear the cries of wolves from the past

They weep, for the future

Their wish is not to be harassed

To be free from torture

From death, hunters inflict on them

The pain within, grows like a stem

From death hunters

From death hunters

To kill these wolves, is to condemn.

Reviews

[Scott Thompson]

At least someone GETS IT! Good job

[Alexis]

wow! I love the pattern of the poem. and i personally love the subject. everyone should stand up against wolf killing and hunting.

[A. Amos]

I really like the start and twist of poem was masterly done, what pleasure people get while hunting i can never understand...depth of message is felt and you penned very well..

[SheWolfNLust]

awe thank you so much for stopping by, I am very compassionate about wolves and what they must survive out there, I am so glad you enjoyed the poem xoxo

[A. Amos]

It's not about only Wolves I believe hunting any form or shape is evil and killing any living animal or bird just for fun is sickness... you're most welcome

[A.A.]

Mm. I like this. It might benefit from a bit of work, but it's forceful, quite haunting.

I think what you've done with the rhymes here is excellent; the way you've separated the thick, whole rhymes of 'own/known' and 'stem/condemn' with two lines, like a mantra, brings a more urgent, darker voice into the poem, very deftly. Having said this, 'needs to carry one, are a must', doesn't quite have the same resonance, to my ears. Maybe it's that the meter gets slightly disrupted, and the stazna doesn't round off so well?

Other than that, I think the 'homes/roam' internal rhyme in line 5 is maybe a little clustered. Or maybe it's that the alliteration of 'hunters' and 'homes' blurs the sense a little. I felt, before I thought about it, that hunters were roaming in their own homes, rather than the homes of the wolves. It is probably just me, however.

I hope you take the time to work the kinks out of this one, anyway. It's definately worth the time.

Antony.


Ps. Props for holding to your stanza form throughout. It looks like quite a difficult one, and you never let it get in the way of your writing.