You Melt Me Within My Soul (Pantoum)

Oh so passionately you melt me within my soul
Here to you I succumb my every inner desires
As we  leave behind all inhibitions, our fire burns
In every sweet caress this warmth within us yearns

Here to you I succumb my every inner desires
full of emotions, inviting your each soft whisper
As we leave behind all inhibitions, our fires burns
You've left me powerless, within your each kiss

Full of emotions, inviting your each soft whisper
Oh baby let me seduce you, mind and soul
you've left me powerless within your each kiss
In your loving arms, making love until the dawn.

Oh baby let me seduce you mind and soul
as we leave behind all inhibitions, our fire burns
in your loving arms, making love until the dawn
Oh so passionately you melt me within my soul!

Reviews

[Trigorin]

Not bad, but I've always hated that old technique of having the first line be the same as the last line. It just feels so old-fashioned and horribly, horribly forced. That's just my opinion. As for the actual content of this piece, it's rather nice, and definitely well-done.