With Every Breath (Sestina Sonnet)

I love you with every breath that’s in me,

the softness of your lips sensually tease.

This aim to please, a future we’ll foresee

Inhibitions melt between us with ease.

 

Your each caress leaving me feel at ease

This magic between us all will foresee

As we blend, heart and soul we become we

Within each passion such flirtations tease

 

An entanglement between us, eyes tease

As there gaze says love that you see in me

Thus our romance comes together in ease

My heart you claimed as our futures foresee.

 

Thus we foresee playfulness as eyes tease

To love with ease in each breath that’s in me.

Reviews

[Mark]

Is this a form you created? I have not previously seen a fourteen-line Sestina! I can see the parallelism you were shooting for, but regrettably it breaks down in the second stanza, as your third endword is "we", not "me". The sestina can be a daunting challenge, as I know twoo well; I did not discover until eleven years after I composed my two that I had omitted the final, three-line envoy, and had to rework them both! So much for "form notes"!
As to your content, though, that is without flaw! A very tender and moving paean to love, both physical and spiritual. Nice work!
May I recommend to you "Paysage Moralise" by W.H. Auden, "The Ballad of the Tramp Royale", by Rudyard Kipling, as well as my own two, "Labile" and "A
Foreboding Drum" for some examples?

[SheWolfNLust]

The Sestina Sonnet is written in ten-syllable lines(usually iambic pentameter) and is structured with three stanzas; three quatrains(four-line stanzas) and a concluding couplet(a two-line stanza). The interesting thing about the Sestina Sonnet is that it actually doesn't rhyme. It retains the Sestina qualities by repeating the end-words of lines throughout the piece.

The four words that end the lines of the first stanza, end the lines of the other two stanzas, in a different order each time. The last stanza, uses two of those words per line, with one in the middle and one at the end of the line. I'm going to use capital letters to indicate the last word in a line. So when I write the structure of the poem, each line that is labeled “A” ends with the same word, each line that's labeled “B” ends with the same word, etc.. Note; for the lines with two-required words in them, I'll label them (XY), showing which to words to use in that line and which one goes in the middle and at the end.

Structure;

First Stanza, a quatrain that sets the end-words for the rest of the poem;

Line 1; A.
Line 2; B.
Line 3; C.
Line 4; D.


Second Stanza, a quatrain;

Line 5; D.
Line 6; C.
Line 7; A.
Line 8; B.

Third Stanza, a quatrain;

Line 9; B.
Line 10; A.
Line 11; D.
Line 12; C.

Fourth Stanza, the concluding couplet;

Line 13; (CB)
Line 14; (DA)

I'm sure there are many accepted ways to write this form. This is just a general guide.


Structure;

First Stanza, a quatrain that sets the end-words for the rest of the poem;

Line 1; A.
Line 2; B.
Line 3; C.
Line 4; D.


Second Stanza, a quatrain;

Line 5; D.
Line 6; C.
Line 7; A.
Line 8; B.

Third Stanza, a quatrain;

Line 9; B.
Line 10; A.
Line 11; D.
Line 12; C.

Fourth Stanza, the concluding couplet;

Line 13; (CB)
Line 14; (DA)

[SheWolfNLust]

its similar to a sestina only in a sonnet form and is a form I learned on this site I am in called all poetry, here is a link you might like to check out also as mine might not be perfect but I hope it is, smiles as I did give it my best

http://everysonnet.blogspot.com/2012/11/sestina-sonnet-sestina-sonnet-is.html

[Shannen Forrester]

I love the line "Thus our romance comes together in ease, My heart you claimed as our futures foresee" the whole thing has a good flow and reads well, the rhymes seem a little forced at times, but overall I enjoyed it.