Imminent - Edited 2

I stand here,

Hands on my hips,

Gazing up at the clouds,

The bright blue sky,

The dazzling sun,

I listen to the birds,

Their quiet song merging

With the rushing wind,

Dandelions at my feet,

Swaying in the harsh breeze,

A chill runs up my spine,

The air around me cools,

As more clouds enter the scene,

Blocking out the sun's light,

Darkening the valley

And everything inside it,

The wind blows stronger,

Sending dandelion fluff

Spinning uncontrollably through the air,

The birds' song stops,

And they take to their wings,

Struggling to free themselves

Of the tangled tree branches,

I watch a plume of smoke,

Rise from the ground on the horizon,

It levels out and begins to move,

Tumbling over itself at a slow crawl,

Eating up everything

That dares cross its path,

Becoming larger,

Thicker,

Faster

With every jagged movement,

Across the uneven ground,

It's a thick mass of agony,

A spiraling whirlwind of desperation,

A whispered torment,

I flick the wisps of hair from my face,

Spinning around with my arms spread wide,

Balancing in the wind,

And I run

I run from the ever disappearing valley,

From the darkening smog,

But it catches up;

An overwhelming sense of despair,

I crash to the ground,

Clawing at loose rocks,

Grabbing at dry earth,

I take hold of a patch of grass,

Clench it tight in my fist,

A sliver of hope,

Makes its way into the dread

The despair,

The anguish,

I pull on the grass,

Try to get to my feet,

And these single green blades,

That I clasp in my hands,

Turn to a liquid,

Seep through my hands,

And hit the ground

With a sizzling hiss,

Now I'm completely engulfed,

Overwhelmed by the unearthly substance,

As dirt is kicked up,

Strewn around,

Controlled by an impetuous,

Contaminated fog,

All hope vanishes,

Fading into the smog

Like a tiny flame

Flickering from existence

The darkness surrounds me,

Creeps into my soul,

Slicing through my very being,

Coursing through my veins

Filling every nook,

Every cranny,

Of my mind -

Darkness

Author's Note

Okay, I'll probably edit more later, but a special episode of Phineas and Ferb is on. :P

Reviews

[DA]

So much imagination. I actually felt all that! Great poem... Tell me when you edit it again :)

[SheActsLikeSummer]

Ha ha, thanks. I was hoping I didn't have to, but because it's for school, I'm going to look over it one more time before I submit it. If I do make any changes I'll post it.

[Distant horizons]

Powerful read. Like an out of control dream where nothing goes your way. Gripping words.

[Chip]

Well done! I can feel fear in this one. Whatever the situation is based on it sounds fearful and hard.

I congratulate you, this time I have no criticisms.