It rains

Last night I had a dream

You called to wish me

And told me our fight was just a lie

To surprise me

 

There you told me everything was alright

While we walked the lake of dreams

Bruno Mars sang to us

And we were at last at ease

 

I woke up to see rain

And pinches of bitter cold

They seemed to affect me

Now that I was wide awake

 

I thought we had each other’s back

You obviously don’t have mine

Frosty bits seemed to pierce me

Since you took away that love

 

Did you notice?

It rains everyday

Like we always thought

That it would when things would be over between us

Author's Note

Well I had a fight with my best friend around my birthday,so I was feeling a bit down and came up with this.

Reviews

[David Scott]

I like the images here and I really can connect with the last stanza. Briliant idea here. I did not feel the meter and without rhym either I found it hard to get any feel for how to read this. Maybe it is me, but for my taste, I would like to see the same idea with some more work to make it "sing" the sad lament off the page.
Very nice emotional exposure here.
Be well.

[Infinite hexes]

yeah I'm sorry, I'm kindof new at writing poems. And also I tried to stick to the truth,its dedicated to me best friend,and we are having a fight,so yeah

[David Scott]

Keep writing! It is a gift to yourself and others.

[Mark]

I love this work.. it's sincere, emotional, and without any triteness

[Infinite hexes]

Thank you for reviewing :D

[Wórdsmíth]

well, it's a piece, but where's the restof piece, i wanna read more ...that's a lovely wwrite, i think fonts are much goood n influencin' the reader with powerful words...liked your workin' way.
i'll be readin' more if i get time.
well written

[Infinite hexes]

More as in more of my poems? And you for a wonderful review :)

[Amazed]

This write is filled with great emotion. Great write.

[Infinite hexes]

Thank you

[Death Heather]

I like this poem its good, I had to read it a few times to try and get a feel on how t is to be read. Overall I liked the poem.

[RavenDelcor]

It rains everyday, so true to the heart pierced with frosty stabs. The truth of this poem comes through the telling of it and how it can reach across time and space to those who can say: That is what I felt at one time. Stay true to your experience, and your writing will always shine with brilliance. If there are technical flaws found in the eyes of readers, as a poet, you need not apologize for only a poet has license to write what the poet feels. Broken meter and rhyme fit with a broken relationship and heart.

[Infinite hexes]

Thank you :)

[Fabian G. Franklin]

"Just let it rain" Hootie and the Blowfish

Very expressive, nicely penned.

[MOON]

Lovely imagery , the heavens cry!

[Rose of Gondor]

I'm so sorry this happened to you! A beautiful poem to express such sad feelings...:( I hope the rain stops soon!

[Blue Ivory]

Awww I truly am sorry
And yes I have noticed. I actually used to sing It Will Rain when it rained.
This is beautiful. Your best work.
Going to my favorites!

[Blue Ivory]

Oh and I'm so proud of you! You got amazing reviews! This is why you shouldn't give up on things.

[Infinite hexes]

yeah i figured that out

[Mark]

Wow, a softly sad lament. I love the use of rain and cold in your words. I'm touched and see myself here. Well done!