Divorced

2 years

of watching you

trying to kill yourself

watching you dying 

a little bit more each day

you said you'd love me forever

you said you'd live till

200

and I believed you

most people thought it was strokes

others thought it was heart attacks

no one really knew

pills found under the mattresses

pills found in your pockets

you were getting sicker by the day

yet things managed to go the same

almost everyday

you'd go to the hospital

and i'd come home

to a torn apart house

with no one home

is daddy okay?!

is all i could think

mommy knew about your plan

she said she'd leave you

if you kept doing this

but still it never stopped you

the last time you went to the hospital

mommy  filed for divorce

I didn't see you

for what seemed like

another 2 years

2 years of my life

lost without you

I blamed mommy

for tearing our family apart

fighting with everyone

never making them want to come here

sissy moved to Alaska

because she didn't feel accepted

mommy always kicked

brother out of the house

eventually one day

she pulled us all into the living room

saying she felt

no one cared about her

honestly I didn't

she started saying

mean things about you

brother went downstairs

he hated this

I yelled at her to stop

but she never listens

I tried walking away

but she forced me to stay

I wish that I had 

runaway'd 

that day

she said you cheated on her

you tried electrocuting yourself

she said

that sense you tried

killing yourself 

you'd eventually try to 

kill us too

I yelled

I screamed

I did everything I could 

to deny it

why was I born into this

is all i could think

I told her I wouldn't believe her

but she kept telling me its true 

is it true daddy?

who should I believe?

your'e gonna tell me to believe you

shes gonna tell me to believe her

she could be lying

jealousy might be taking over her

sense we worship the path you walk on daddy

I wouldn't be in this mess

if she tried to make you feel accepted

and you didn't try to kill yourself

how can I face you tomorrow?

whose telling the truth?

were am I gonna find all the answers?

why does it have to be so hard?

whens the truth gonna come out? 

who broke our family?

who do I believe?

I don't know who or what 

to believe anymore

 

Author's Note

This is the actual story of my parents divorce so its like a story/poem sorry if it doesn't make sense it was written in a form of kinda like a letter written to my dad as if i was a 5yr old girl kinda look at it any way you want

Reviews

[PyroKitty24]

How terribly sad, and I'm sorry to hear this is a true story. My parents have been divorced and married multiple times, and I thought that played a toll on a child's mental capabilities. This is so much worse

[WynterPhoenix]

This is an amazing piece. It took me back to my own parents divorce, though it seems the result of your parents divorce was far different than man and the years after. Thank you for sharing this with us. You are a strong person.

[Helpless]

this brought me to tears for sure.... omg.... so sad... :( but amazing piece of poetry

[☯]

A beautifully and saddening poem to read. I feel that you were so young to go through so much at such an age. It's amazing you still remember, but then again, it would be a hard memory to forget. You've written a heartbreaking poem, and the nature of a five year old really did come out into this. Amazing job. :)

[Alicia Hirshey]

There is a lot of pain in this. I hate that you had to go through it. when my parents divorced it took from the time i was a toddler until I was 13 and she sent me to live with him to understand why she left in the first place. My mom tried to protect us and I can see why, The man that we had worshiped was a drug abusing monster, a person that I claim to this day is dead. But in a sense he is dead. To me at least. There are times when you have to stop and think about what you saw and what your mom did to protect you. Often times parents love each other very much but their love isn't enough when it comes to their children. In a way your mom was trying to protect you, she may have gone the wrong way about it, but in the end it's what she was doing.
Don't worry to much about it. The truth will come out sooner or later. I love you little one, And I am here if you need.