love lost and a life destroyed

yeah well I was really upset after a break up so yeah I just wrote how I felt and plus my life has pretty much sucked for like the past three years but it's looking better now

I want to cry but the tears will not come.

I want to hide but my feet will not run.

I feel a pain inside my soul.

It’s as if I’m never meant to reach my goals.

I thought I’d found love.

But in the end I was hurt just see above.

I wanted a companion someone to have and to hold.

But the feelings I showed, were better left untold.

So I’ve chased away the only one who cared.

And so my feelings shall never again be shared.

I feel so helpless like I’m meant to be in pain.

I feel like a man without a home finding no shelter from the rain.

I keep on this mask that everyone sees.

And they all think that’s the real me.

While actually I’m like a child alone in the dark,

Curled up in the corner and unable to talk.

The tears come down my face so I hide them behind a mask.

That way my heart might have suffered its last.

I see now I’m destined to be alone,

NO one to love me or give me a home.

I seek only an escape but can see only darkness,

I feel so alone, so afraid, and so helpless.

I want only comfort and someone to love,

But I find only pain. Does it come from above?

Have I done something in my past that causes this pain?

Have I done something that causes someone pain?

I just want to know why do I suffer so?

I think it’s so that others might know.

That God is our refuge and in him we find hope,

But I feel like I should just give up my hope.

I don’t know how or why things happen.

But I certainly know that I’ve suffered them.

I don’t know if I should die, or simply lie,

About how I feel should I ever show what’s going on inside?

Or should I keep  it bottled up and just live life’s ride?