Oceans Flow in Falling Rain

Funny how watching something seemingly innocent, fun, beautiful... something designed to lift the spirits and raise a smile, can bring your inner truths crashing down around you;

And you realise (for the zillionth time) that you will never know that beautiful fun innocent old-aged comfort of dancing around the house with a life partner.

And now, as 60 fast approaches, I feel a soul consuming solitariness I have never felt before, even though much of my life has been lived in a solitary manner.

This may be too much truth, for some, too much realness... but it is what it is... and I feel myself fading away as a woman.


A matter of days until
     I turn sixty... and I'm good with that,proud to be, but
Once upon a long  time ago I thought he would be by my side
... celebrating 60 with me... but that was not to be
Destiny... the angels... god needed him before then;
... before fifty... before forty... even before thirty-five -
And there was no one brave enough to fill the space
left behind... no one bold enough to take a chance
-- with me...

And so I... well
I grow old alone
with my field of memories and a heart too weary to weep...
*
SharonleeGoodhand Imageweaver
2021



Oceans Flow in Falling Rain


Time flows... in ever-widening ripples on a pond...
... I am now as old as my elders were back then, and my friend
the babies who we nursed
are now as old we, when we thought that we were young...

And what have we done
With all that time...?
Laughed a lot, and drank some wine
Cried some times
And picked ourselves up off the floor...

Why is it so hard to ignore
the passing years... now age interferes
but I remember when we were young...

When oceans echoed in the summer rain
falling upon the earth in musical waves;
And an endless flow of questions met beside the river... a flood of whys
spilling from a billion silent lips;

And still time flows... in ever-widening ripples on a pond...
... I am now as old as my elders were back then, and my friend
the babies who ran at our sides in the sun
are now as old we, when we thought that we were young...

Old memories rejoice amongst the shadows - linger there not over-long
- their company nothing but lyrics
for a half remembered song.

Unforgiving pains whisper beneath the surface
fluctuating lights of discord join hands in crowded streets
old wounds from the past breathe in forgotten dreams
consuming nightshadows ... defying sleep.

Why is it so hard to ignore
the passing years... now age interferes
But so clearly I remember ...when we were young...

Defining moments mingle with divine clarity... ride the wave of
oceans echoing within the fall of rain
... could it be the new crazy is simply another normal
and there's no such thing as madness or even sane
Just oceans echoing in the summer rain.
*
Sharonlee Goodhand Imageweaver

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This is divine writing. As I've said before, your self-honesty is stunningly refreshing. Normally I don't get into regrets & looking back at life in a melancholy way. I'm too set on just working with whatever we're given. At an early age it was bashed out of me, the tendency to have hopes & dreams. So I never had a picture of what old age would look like or who might accompany me there. I've always been alone. I love being alone. So, despite my own perspective, I found myself enchanted by the way you express your feelings, even tho it's quite different than the way I look at growing older & being alone. The poetry part of this posting is written in super-fresh imagery, conjuring a million visions of living life spontaneously & bravely (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[sharonlee]

Hello Margie and thank you for stopping by, so lovely to see you...
... a lot of things were bashed out of me at a young age as well, I was often told that I was stubborn, but I think I just refused to be squashed, and wouldn't let go of my dreams... I just disguised them in poetry until I could make (some of) them come true.
Thank you so much for your delightful comment...

Peace and Hugs, Sharonlee

[Coyote Poetry]

Wonderful thoughts shared dear Sharon. I am 62 years old. I appreciate things more now than my young days. We learn to appreciate the good days with old age near. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote

[sharonlee]

Lovely to see you Coyote, and thank you reading...
I don't mind the growing older part... even with all the age related wear and tear I seem to be dealing with... I just didn't think that I would be doing it alone... but that's life... not often as we expect it to be.

[Coyote Poetry]

You can find people with similar dreams and goal. I use to go to writers groups before the coronavirus. We had common goals. Never too late to find more happiness dear Sharon. Hello from Michigan my friend.,

[sharonlee]

Australia doesn’t really have non-internet writers groups any more ... hasn't for many years.
read moreAustralia doesn’t really have non-internet writers groups any more ... hasn't for many years.

I tried to interest a few cafes in the idea of a weekly writers night or afternoon meet, however none of the cafes were willing to give it a try.

[Coyote Poetry]

That is sad. We use the library. Sometime 20 plus people come to share their work. Maybe you can begin a useful place for the writers?

[sharonlee]

Maybe I could... although here most places are being exceptionally cautious about gatherings and groups, due to the strict requirements of Covid related cleaning of such places after groups have used them.
I'll keep it mind though.

[emmajoy]

How tragic it is when eyes stay dry but the heart bleeds for the past and. thoughts of how the future might have been. Your poem is so emotional yet with raw expression. Time can and does mock and there'sno stopping it. The final stanza says it far better than i ever could..

' Defining moments mingle with divine clarity... ride the wave of oceans echoing within the fall of rain ~ could it be the new crazy is simply another normal ~ and there's no such thing as madness or even sane ~ Just oceans echoing in the summer rain.

Stay safe, please. Hugs, thoughts, hugs.

[sharonlee]

Hello dear friend... I do hope you are well.
It's always a delight to see you and I often pause to think of you...
I'm still waiting for eye surgery... I would visit WC more often if I could make the page easier to see like I can on MeWe (another social networking site with writer groups)

Many thanks for your thoughts and kindnesses... be well my friend xox

[sharonlee]

Hello dear friend... I do hope you are well.
It's always a delight to see you and I often pause to think of you...
I'm still waiting for eye surgery... I would visit WC more often if I could make the page easier to see like I can on MeWe (another social networking site with writer groups)

Many thanks for your thoughts and kindnesses... be well my friend xox