To Cry

One of my most distinct memories that I had been meaning to write a poem about for a long time. Finally got around to it.

I feel as though

I have been

turned to stone.

 

Around me

tears fall,

people hold each other tight.

 

In the middle of a storm of emotions

I stand

cold and hard.

 

Finally I turn and leave

unnoticed

to where I can be alone.

 

I throw myself on my bed

trying to cry,

but no tears will come to my eyes.

 

Then I remember

the only real comfort.

My tried and true.

 

I reach for my Bible

and read,

nothing in particular.

 

Through every page

I can see

God's love and faithfulness speak.

 

I slowly

drop to my knees,

and give it all to Him.

 

And I know

that it's alright,

I don't have to cry.

Reviews

[Scott Free]

Wow this is a really touching piece. I love the Christian overtones.
The first line really caught me;
I feel as though | I have been | turned to stone.
I read it really quick, said something to my brother and then was like, wait, what? And i looked back and read it through. And read it again. Really good piece of writing, your skill as a poet really shines through!
My only qualm was that I would have liked you to describe the Bible as she picks it up. That would've been nice.
But that was all--good job, Renae!

Scott

[The handsome stranger]

I love the realization in the end of the poem, that it is alright to be different. I does not mean that you do not feel the same, but simply that you do not act the same. It takes a lot of courage to stand up and accept the differences between you and other rather than trying to change them. I am impressed. It is a wonderfully noble poem, and beautifully written as well.

[[untitled]]

Not quite what I was expecting, I have to say, given the title of the piece.

My biggest concern about this poem is the sharp change in direction. For the first five stanzas of this poem, you focus on this emptiness, this sadness and this sense of neglect caused by something out in the external world, or this idea that the speaker felt like she was supposed to show her sorrow but couldn't. It was this that I feel this poem is focusing on, and then to have the last three verses cap off the piece in such a way, it just left me feeling dissatisfied. I have nothing against the bible and its comforts, you understand, it's just that I felt like you were leading me in one direction and then spurred me towards a dead end where my curiosity of what caused this predicament was ended abruptly. I felt as if the rug was pulled out from under my feet.

As it is, I applaud the simplicity of this piece in its form and language, I just think that the piece overall is incomplete. Or rather, I think that you have two ideas going on in this piece that are incomplete. You have the predicament, and then you have the comforting sanctuary of the bible. The cause of the predicament is unclear, and the taking comfort in the bible seemed too quick. It seems like you were hurrying to finish the poem.

May I make a suggestion? Expand on the last three stanzas. Perhaps make mention of a particular bible passage or gospel of the new testament where Christ is faced with a situation that 'mirrors' the situation in the speaker's life that is causing the predicament. By doing that, you wrap up both ideas and make them complete because you make it understood what the speaker is feeling and the cause of that feeling, and you make it understood how comfort can be taken from reading the bible.

It's good, I just feel like it needs a little bit more.

Anyhow, there's my two cents. Take it as you will have it.

[Céce]

I thought this was really touching, Renae. I love how you use three-lined verses in your poetry. Makes it uniquely yours. It's nice that you were finally able to put this on paper (or a computer screen!)

Great job, sis, this is really lovely.

Jane