Along

It could be the momentary flashes of orange,

that makes this night seem so like a dream to me.

Coming closer, yet already gone;

my eyes fixate upon the distant streetlights. 

Silence is battled by the engine hums,  

constant dilation and miosis, 

and so continue the streetlights.

Snowflakes fall in the silence;

I watch over so many but lose sight, 

as both time and place distract me.

A small group gathers as a constant,

constantly clinging together.

I travel at the right speed;

I feel I play apart in their maintaining. 

The night has my mind tired,

and waiting for rest. 

This grey morning calls my eyes 

out the window once more.

The grey skies meet

 the grey road in front of me.

This moment waits for change,

but I find myself waiting.

I travel on with my tiered mind,

I wait for rest.

Reviews

[Daffy]

Hi Shane, critically, 'engines hums' would be better as 'engine hums' or 'engines hum'; perhaps I'm wrong though. Do you mean tiered mind or tired mind?
However, again it is a beautiful poem that speaks and describes the topic clearly. I enjoyed it very much and needed to read it a few times to really see the depth.

[Shane Hogan Poetry]

I was thinking along the same lines! I meant Tiered mind, its there to make you think of the definition of the two words and think of how they apply, which hopefully leaves you to review the poem and think of how it works consecutively! Thanks Daffy.

[Daffy]

Well, I was on the right lines. Definitely thought inducing this poem of yours. Thank you for sharing it.

[KWP]

I love the way your mind has woven this together ... I like the undertones very much ... you can see into the depths that's for sure ..

now ..how to make it more of a transient lullaby of words? How to make the reader read without having to punctuate for themselves .. how to find the flow ... within the lines, the flow .. so that each words connects without the other without sharpness or finality, how to make the words themselves love each other ?


:)

[BlackHeart]

This poem makes me remember the reasons I like poems so much I enjoy the thought into the poem and I believe that you did a great job writing this piece. Keep up the good work.

[Shane Hogan Poetry]

Thank you, that's a Major complement! Thanks for putting in the time!

[Coyote Poetry]

I understand the thoughts in the poem. Life can become cold and the same.
"This moment waits for change,
but I find myself waiting."
I believe all of us need change. Need things to keep out heart and mind alive. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Shane Hogan Poetry]

Thanks Coyote, its always helpful to hear your words! A true man with a poets Gait on life

[Travis Gibson (poetic h..]

"I wait for rest" I know these words all to well... Great write.

[Shane Hogan Poetry]

Thank you!

[Tina Louise UK]

Great descriptive read...enjoyed this piece :) x

[Shane Hogan Poetry]

Thank you Tia!

[Julie Spade]

Great piece of art! Keep going !

[Vampaslick]

I can't quite describe in words how this made me feel. It took me to a different place, a place I was formally scared of. But your words showed me the way, and that it was okay, and that, in itself, is okay.

[Shane Hogan Poetry]

Thank you...I'm a sort of speechless!

[Karci Clest]

Very thoughtful and thought provoking. Its a great poem. Good work

[Shane Hogan Poetry]

Thank you, I hope it took you away from this world for a while!

[redzone]

the mind does tier while travelling.. think of many things almost at once sometimes... yes, perhaps interrupted by streetlights or the patterns of falling snow... tiering on or about where you are going or where you just came from... with the references to gray and night, these thoughts do not seem to be real happy ones... or not.. in either case it is an enjoyable read for me.. ~~redzone

[Shane Hogan Poetry]

I'm glad you made a connection :)

[Lyn Anderson]

A thoughtful insightful write. I am assuming tiered is intentional, because it fits.