Disfigurement

I have known this girl since youth;
she walked with me through fields
picking berries with a smile.
She always once claimed 
"the world is more beautiful 
than we will ever know";
in the early days I believed her.

We started to drift in our teenage years.
She did not speak her thoughts anymore,
just idle words to which her friends laughed.
She grew un-content, and became a gallery
of changing faces;
Each one layering her
until she was happy labeling herself,
as someone else.

The last time I seen her,
peroxide made capable her forgotten halo.
Her body starved, and upon looking in her eyes,
clearly her mind . 
She helps her stumbling husband into her car.
Now after so many years, I whisper back,
"The world is more treacherous than we will ever know".

Reviews

[Odysseus Wanders]

Your poem espys to me the journey as seen from the outside, ones descent into the underworld. I do not mean this in a bad way. For it is a different place, where a different learning is trying to occur, one that could not be gotten 'above ground'. Her words in the beginning... mean, the world is more beautiful than I'll ever know. Other words... she was saying she was in a place 'un-beautiful'... so to me, it is no wonder that she stumbled onto the path she did... you see it well. Its sad to see. But hopefully we learn from others, never know when will be there.
Good poem. I like the care taken towards to topic. Good story too.
Thanks for this.

[Julie Spade]

:O I did not except that to be the conclusion. It was shocking and eye opening for me ; drifting me back to my past and of my childhood friends repeating the idea of being forever idealistic or innocent. That's what i look for when i read poems...i want to think of my future , past or whatever, that takes me to several memories and times in one sitting . Thank You so much for your gifts and for your talent!

[Shane Hogan Poetry]

Thank you! Your full of honest praise for my work, and to hear it makes all my work worth it!

[Alicia Huntley]

I like this poem. To be honest when I started reading it I did not expect it to end like that. I am pleased you wrote it this way. The ending hits me a little harder and makes me stop and think. Thanks for sharing.

[Shane Hogan Poetry]

I'm glad! I'm always here to talk as well!

[Sami Khalil]

A splendid read and write . You have bestowed your talent upon us...:)..................

[Shane Hogan Poetry]

Thank you!

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)......................

[KWP]

Hey Shane - i like very much the theme behind your poem and besides some grammar - which I shall not correct you on (grammar is my one of my many failings) I will say this instead ... I see you are from Ireland, I have worked very closely with many Irish people and I know they love a good story, leading in with 'What's the Craic' has always amused me ... in saying this i read your poem and I can see the outline as the 'bare bones' there are many more layers here in which you could tackle... ask yourself how you can go deeper into the story, how can you make it raw and ready to grab each reader by the throat begging them to listen ... you have chosen a great story to exploit your words and imagery, I believe though if you revisit this piece you can make it even better.

[Lyn Anderson]

This is a very powerful piece. Sometimes we see someone we used to know and cannot believe our eyes -- especially if that person has turned to drugs or has changed for the bad in some way. I just have one question -- is it berries, rather than berry's?

[Tina Louise UK]

Life is never what we think it changes often, there is still such beauty to be found though. Really enjoyed your write Shane :) x

[Shane Hogan Poetry]

Thanks :) I really enjoy your reviews!

[Tina Louise UK]

ur welcome hun :) x

[s y e]

I loved the changing in views... from like a child's perspective into an adults ~ very maturely written too.

[Shane Hogan Poetry]

Thank you very much :)

[Madalyn Beck]

I love how this changes from a child's perspective to an adults. Very unique!

[Shane Hogan Poetry]

Thank you madalyn :)

[Baby Ricochet]

Good poem bro. Raises thoughts about perception and what reality is. Cool

[Shane Hogan Poetry]

Thanks for reading man!