Jessica's mistake

Ideas for Fiction, Writing Exercise #3 from Writing Fiction Step by Step by Josip Novakovich

I had only meant to come out for dinner.  My friend Sadie invited me and two of her obnoxious friends from work.  However, I felt bad for her since most of our friends are under 21 and would not be able to come to the bar.  We've been friends since middle school. Albeit not the closest in the group.

As soon as I arrived to dinner I felt that I had made a mistake.  The girls Sadie was with were the type of girls we would have bitterly made fun of in the school yard.  It was a defense mechanism from the misery that girls like this would inflict upon us.  

Being out of school for a while allowed me to forget how much I hate myself.  I had been able to choose the people I surrounded myself with and I no longer felt that terrible emptiness from not fitting in.  These girls made me realize those feelings were still there.  They brought it out in me.  

I pretended as best I could to be interested in the silly things they were talking about.  Hair, boys, all the different bars they would go to and the new s****y romantic comedy that came out.  I even added my own end of the conversation but whenever I did, quiet would settle in.  I resolved to get drunk.

Once dinner was over I was relieved.  I decided I would go to the bar across the street with them but I would call my parents to pick me up soon after.  I already was beginning to work on my feigned sickness.

Sadie was completely oblivious to my discomfort.  She seemed to be slightly ignoring me and spending most of her energy trying to impress her cool work friends.  The things her and I usually talk about never made it into the conversation.  Video games, books, our lack of self-worth and crippling guilt.  I guess that wouldn't have made for a very exciting party.

I was beginning to feel very tipsy as Rita took my arm and we made our way to the crowded bar.  "Sorry if I make you uncomfortable.  I tend to be very grabby when I'm drunk"  She whispered into my ear in what she seemed to think was a seductive tone.

"Rita, get off of that poor girl, you're scaring her!"  Heather slurred.

"Hey, I can't help it!" Rita laughed excitedly as she ran to Heather and drunkenly embraced her.  The girls went into fits of laughter as they continued their trek to the bar.

"Are you having a good time."  Sadie looked at me earnestly.  She was wasted.  Was I the only one who could handle my liquor here?  

"I'm having a fine time Sadie, happy 21st"  I lied.  It is her birthday.

I'm not happy as we approach the bar but I will be leaving here soon.  I hold my cell phone in my hand.  If I call now I could leave in thirty minutes or so.  That's enough time.  I'll wait till I can get away from the group.  

We enter the club and the girls immediately run to the bar.  Rita brings me a shot glass filled with some bright blue concoction.

"To the birthday girl!"  Heather shouts and we all tip the glasses back.  The shot is sickeningly sweet with a terrible aftertaste.  I make a face that I'm sure is not attractive.

That's when I see him.  He seems to be laughing at me.  He looks different than most of the other guys at the bar.  He has a beard and seems a bit overweight.  He is with other guys that look like nerds.  What are they doing in a place that blares Lady Gaga music?

He notices me noticing him and his eyes immediately return to the conversation him and his friends seem to be deep in.  I want to go over there.  They look like they're having a good time.  I put my phone back in my purse.  

"I'm gonna go buy us another round of drinks"  I say to the girls as I make my way to the bar.  I guess the liquor has made me bold.  

I shift up next to the group of guys so that I can hear what they are talking about.  They are discussing Star Trek the Next Generation.  That's one of my all-time favorite shows and I want to join in but the bartender comes up and interrupts my train of thought.

"What do you want sweetheart."  He says with a smirk.  I probably shouldn't have worn a sweater to the club.  I stick out like a sore thumb.

"Oh..um..I'll take three..I mean..four rum and cokes"  He turns around and whips them up.  I throw money down on the bar and suddenly I am not aware of how I will take these drinks back to our table.  I begin an elaborate method of holding all the drinks at once when the bearded guy next to me steps in.

"Do you need some help."  He says barely meeting my eyes.

"Yes..that would be very nice of you.  If you wouldn't mind!  I don't want to hassle you."  I always over apologize.  Get a hold of yourself Jessica!  He wouldn't have offered if he didn't want to.  

"No, it's fine"  He seems to lighten up a bit when he witnesses that I'm an awkward person too.  He grabs two of the drinks and I grab two and we head to the table.  I really start to feel the shot I just took kicking in.

We make it back to the table and set the drinks down.  I suddenly feel compelled to hug the man that just helped me.  So, I do it.  This drink business has eroded my filter. 

He seems shocked by my hug.  I separate from him.  "Thank you for the help!"  I say enthusiastically and I give him a kiss on the cheek.  

The table of girls is amused and they begin to whoop a few times.  Usually I hate when people do that, but right now I am glowing.  

"No..problem."  he says shyly as he makes his way back to his group of friends.  One of which saw everything and seems to be in shock.

"What was that!" Rita shouts over the music.

"I don't know, I think he's kind of cute.  Like a teddy bear!"  I say giggling and blushing.  Who is this drunk version of me?

"Whatever floats your boat."  Rita says raising an eyebrow.  She clearly questions my taste in men.  

I've always been attracted to guys that other girls find desperate or creepy.  I feel like I have a kindred spirit in men like that.  

"I love you Jessica!" Sadie says drunkenly as she sloppily swigs her rum and coke.  I decide I won't be buying her anymore drinks.

The night wears on and I drink a bit more.  At one point I'm on the dance floor with the girls and Rita is grinding up on Sadie.  I have to admit.  This is kind of fun.  As I'm laughing at the absurdity of the moment, I catch the eye of the bearded guy at the bar.  I'm going to do something I'll regret in the morning.  I shout that I have to go to the bathroom.

I saunter over to this guy and I pull him away from his friends toward the entrance of the bar.  I drag him outside so that we can have some quiet.

"Um..are you okay?"  The bearded guy says.  I can tell he's drunk too.

"Yeah, I'm fine and dandy.  What is a guy like you doing here?"  I say to him drinking in the cool evening air.  I can't believe I am doing this.

"Well, we're here supporting one of my friends.  He wants to meet chicks.  It's pretty ridiculous.  What are you doing here?"  He says.  He's so much more easy to talk to than he was an hour ago.

"I'm here for my friend's 21st birthday party.  I had to get drunk because I totally don't fit in here." I say laughing.

"Me neither!"  He looks at me.  "My name is Bryan"

"I'm Jessica."  I say as I reach out my hand for a handshake.  He takes it and we do an over exaggerated hand shake.  

"Do you want to make this night a bit more interesting?"  I say with a boldness that I've never known before.

"It depends what you have in mind" he's suddenly some sort of Casanova.

I go in for the kill.  My lips meet his.  Our lips move sloppily together until we finally find our rhythm.  I'm making out with some random guy at the bar and I've never been so excited.  I recall faintly that there's a law in California that states if you have sex with someone while they are drunk it's considered rape.  Does it count if we're both drunk?  I don't care.

Our kiss becomes deeper.  He pushes me up against the stucco wall of the bar and begins kissing my ear.  I can hear his ragged breath and it sends a shiver down my spine.

"Whoo!"  Some drunken couple ruins our moment by shouting as they leave the bar.  Bryan looks embarrassed as he separates from me and looks me in the eye.  I smile and take his hand and we head to the back of the bar.  We begin to make out again by the dumpster.  I am a classy lady I think as I giggle.

He stops and looks at me, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, this is absurd though.  I would never do this in a million years!"  

"Yeah, me neither."  He says and we resume our passionate kissing.  I feel tingly all over.

I wrap my arms around his neck and jump up wrapping my legs around his pelvis as he pushes me harder into the wall.  I can feel his excitement pushing up against me and I shiver.  He moves his hands up and down my waist.

"I want you."  I whisper in his ear as he kisses my neck.  "Do you have protection?"

He stops abruptly. "No."  He puts me down.  "I never thought I'd be in a situation like this in a million years.  Look at me."

"I am looking.  I like what I see."  I say laughing.

"I feel like I'm sobering up and suddenly this isn't the best idea."  He says.  "You are so beautiful, do you want to go out some time?"  

"Yes, I do."  He kisses me deeply again.  I can feel the shift in his mood.  We are both elated.

"I need to calm down before I go back in there. Here.." he says as he fishes out a pen.  He takes my hand, "this is my number." he begins to write a number that is barely legible.  

"I'll give you mine too.  Just in case I smear yours"  I write my number on his hand.  "Can I help you calm down?"  I say with a raised eyebrow.

"You most definitely cannot.  You're beyond drunk right now.  I'm only a little drunk and I would feel bad if I took advantage."  He says with some effort.

"You're no fun!" I say pushing him playfully.  We make out for another few minutes until he finally pushes me away.  

"Go! This is too much"

I smile as I head back towards the front of the bar.  I see one of his friends at the front of the bar dialing a number on his cell phone.  "If you're looking for your friend he is in the back!"  The friend looks a bit confused as I make my way back through the door.

I find the girls still at the same spot on the dance floor.  Their dancing has become progressively worse.  "I just got a number!"  I shout and the girls surround me in excitement.  I called a cab soon after.  I don't think that I could've looked my father in the eye after what I just did. 

Bryan never came back in.  He must have gone home with the friend I saw outside.  I smudged the number he gave me and was never able to call.  For some reason he never called me either.  Maybe sobriety made the nervousness kick back in.  I can't say that I would have called even if the number hadn't smudged.  My awkwardness would have gotten in the way.

I didn't go to the bars much after that.  I was afraid of the person that liquor turned me into.  As much as I enjoyed that night, I don't plan on ever doing it again.  

 

Author's Note

This is the exercise this writing is based on:
"3. Start with the same nonevent as in the previous exercise, an evolve another story line that takes off on a tangent. Suppose there was a temptation to do something outrageous, make a pass at the host, walk out of the bathroom naked, something that did not happen. Now make believe it did happen. Go beyond yourself and invent a character who could do something like this. Here, you'll be transforming a mundane event from your experience into a somewhat strange one." (Novakovich, p. 13).

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