To a better place?

It's a sonnet i wrote when i was 13. People should never underestimate how difficult a sonnet is to write,(14 lines, short-long, 10 syllables per line) anyway here it is!

She gazed into the gloom, the men drew near,
The toll of war resounded from the hill,
She sensed the awful, anxious atmosphere,
Ferocious men cam picking who to kill.

She stood beneath the trees with tear-stained face,
She watched her mum as she was dragged away,
She stood and saw the tribes destroy her race,
She stood and heard her mothers screams that day.

Small children begging for their parents back,
The coos of babies, little do they know,
She'll shield them from the blows of each attack,
Together they will stand against their foe.

She died a slow and painful death but then,
She knew she'd see her family again.

Reviews

[Fontane Wong]

This is really a beautiful written poem. I love it so much. I think the forth line is a bit confusing. But overall, it's still a great poem.

[Sam Severn]

Dark n' dreamy n' deathly-well-told! You used your words like a camera, n' made the whole story as easy to picture as a movie! Humungously cool stuff! ㋡

[Shannen]

Thank you Yukki and Alicia, sorry about the line, it was a mistake, going to change it now!

[Yuuki]

I really like it, it is well written... the fourth line from the bottom "She'll them from the blows of each attack," is a little confusing, though I get what you are trying to say, and I think it is just a typo.

[Alicia™]

This is beautifully written; great job!