Heart Ardency

         Heart Ardency

              You stay with behind

              Outside of the invisible wall

              Do hide-and-seek with deep of heart

              You caught by asleep heart

                  Heart stay with swing

                  And attach with dreadful Sea

                  Its lost every time

                  That's adjust with endless world

            Run with paceful air

            In very far with paradise

            As like glowing Star

            With clamour gather fair

                  I feel many expectation in heart

                 That's adjust with heart elegance

                  Lighting with Lamp of love

                  In your closed heart.

Reviews

[gombeggar]

very good poem...think some of it is confused in translation though...but i can still grasp the imagery

[Shamsuddin Mazed]

ok.thank u..........

[Chris]

I read this poem aloud... I found that my mind recognized your thoughts and put words in place that I feel you would have used to more readily match the emotions you were touching.

Writing in a second (non-native) language - especially English - is really difficult. The stumbles are usually reader caused BECAUSE we as readers expect a familiar flow and transisition. I listened carefully to what I believe you were saying.

[de_maruf]

in last chorus, first line "u" may be "you"
and it would better "words" instead of "speak"
good work, keep writing

[Shamsuddin Mazed]

Yah.......