It keeps us coming back

A collective voice piece

We can tell who are the rookies and who are the vets. Usually depending on who gets hurt determines what side people fall into. We as vets uphold the rules, make sure everyone plays fair and minimize the number of unnecessary casualties. Sure, some of us are high, some of us have been day drinking but we’re all brothers and sisters when we’re in this group together. Punches are thrown, body slams happen, people are pushed down and people are lifted up. A decision has to be made. If we stand at the edges, we keep an eye on what’s happening in the center, ready to jump in if necessary. If we stand in the center we’re on the front lines. Inside, it’s our job to protect the rookies that got sucked in from the edges. Once we’re in, there’s one goal. Stay on your feet. If someone hits the ground they’re as good as dead. It’s a dangerous place but we love the excitement and we protect each other the best that we can. All around us, people are jumping, people are screaming, people are running and people are fighting. Fighting the demons that no one can see. Screaming the words of a battle cry that only the other outcasts can recognize. Our chests feel like we’re suffocating, but that’s because we are. We’re drowning in the heat and the sea of people surrounding us. We feel every hit our bodies take and every gasping breath that leaves our lungs with no promise of return. When we get to the barricade, we know we’re safe. The bright yellow shirts of the security guards are a beacon of hope that we can rest and they’ll watch our backs. Finally, we can scream the pain and frustration from our lungs and let it get lost in the noise. The noise of talking, the laughing, and the screaming. We can feel the beat of the music and the beat of our heart pulsate throughout our bodies as if every heart in the group beats in sync with the movement. This is the movement. As we feel like we’re dying, from suffocation, from the heat, from the pain and frustration. This is the moment we feel alive. This feeling is like a drug to us and it keeps us coming back.