Chapter 25

Carry the seed of peace in your heart, let it illuminate the inner body with purity, light and wisdom. Never stop shining. Practice every day isn't always glorious. Sometimes you're stiff, tired, lazy, bored and everything else. Sometimes you fall, fail and flop around. Sometimes you fly, reach ecstatic highs and feel amazing. It can seem like the life of a yogi is all highs and no lows. It can seem like a handstand is effortless. But the truth is that yoga is a sustained consistent daily discipline. It is humble and humbling. I believe in sharing the real, unedited highs and lows of my practice through social platforms. Not just the awesome moments but also my work, my projects, my failures. Because I believe we are all on this path, that none of us is perfect or better than the other, that we are all just students, practicing the best we can, changing our world to a more peaceful place. What do you do when something really bothers you? Shut down or fight back? Implode or explode? Neither is really the best course of action. Emotional intelligence requires maturity of the spirit and experience in action. Sometimes I think it would be really cool to have a mandatory class in empathy and effective communication in school. I mean, not to say that geometry and history haven't been wildly useful, but imagine if we all learned and studied our emotions, behaviors and thought patterns from an early age. I know it would have helped me. If you read my last post you know yesterday was a tough day for me. I went into a mild state of shock after a difficult business meeting where I left feeling belittled, disrespected and bullied. Instead of effectively communicating all I said was “ok”. Now I sit with the remnants of feeing like I did a bad job sticking up for myself. All the old victimhood came right back and lead me into a downward spiral all the way to a panic attack. I haven’t had one of those in awhile, so I guess you could say it’s been a good streak. In retrospect I found the right words. Looking back I can see where I failed to draw the line. The lesson for me here is about boundaries and self-respect. While I can tolerate a lot, when it does bother me it really does hit me right to the core. Rather than waiting for someone else to change it’s important that you set your own standards for what you will accept. Take responsibility for your own actions and avoid blaming others. Rewrite the story and learn from your mistakes. Today started off amazingly, but midway through the day an off-the-cuff comment from a colleague left me in a mild state of shock. It took me hours to process the level of aggression and belittling that took place. I felt frazzled, dropped my phone, and faced some emotional demons. It was like I intellectually knew what was said wasn't ok but couldn't find an appropriate response in the moment because I was stunned. Until I lost it and cried a few hours later, when the residual tension invaded too many other areas. What is it about a violation of decorum and mutual respect that makes it hard to stomach? So I ask myself, what is strength? It means being steady and calm in the face of adversity. It means admitting when you make a mistake. It means standing your ground.Yoga has taught me to pick up the pieces and start again, to stand my ground to bullies yet to choose my battles, to lift it up higher even when it feels like you're getting pulled down. It's one day and it was a lot, but I'm strong enough now to never let it get me down for too long. 

We live in a world of immense beauty and immense pain. There are highs and lows, love and loss. Yoga is a practice of profound depth that speaks to the soul, that asks you to dive down into the uncharted territory of the inner world. With a delicate, refined sensibility there is a path that leads through the heart to love, to light, to peace and to grace. Nothing good comes from violence, nothing but pain. When you cry the tears of a broken heart, when you realize the fragility of a smile, when it all finally makes sense, then you understand that it was never about the pose, it was never about the stretch, never about the size or shape of the body, it was about the love, nothing more. Everything good comes from love. It's that simple. What do you when you realize you've gone through such a big change that old ways of life, old images of yourself and old ways of being just no longer fit who your present is? It's not the size or shape of your body that matters. It's not whether your hips are open or closed. It's about who you are on the inside, how bright you allow your spirit to shine, how much peace is in your heart, how much love you're able to let in. I remember wanting to restart my life, like pressing the restart button on my computer, to get rid of the errors and wipe the slate clean. How I wanted to just clear the cache of my mind and empty the trash on my mental drive. In some ways it was that simple. And in other ways it was much harder, more humble, much more about surrender than I ever thought it was, and really just about being myself, loving myself, forgiving myself. And it's yoga, it's the practice, it leads you to discover the truth, the hidden truth that unlocks all the peace that's waiting for you deep down in your heart. And when you find it and feel it, you just can't help but live in love. Close your eyes. Tune in to the inner sanctuary. It's always there waiting for you to rediscover it. Changeless, eternal, stillness. You are more than your body, more than your things or list of accomplishments. There is a profound depth within your heart. You are love. You are light. .

​Tips for Good Boundaries:

1. Change Yourself�" Don’t wait for someone else to change before you feel better. Make the changes within yourself and realize that only you are responsible for your own mental well-being.

2. Respect Yourself�" Do not engage in actions, name-calling or other immature behavior that you will regret. In other words, take the high ground.

3. Don’t Settle�" Walk away from relationships, professional or personal, that don’t treat you or value you 4. Do Your Practice�"There is nothing like the empowering feeling of practice. 

We all have dreams. Some are big and some are small. Some will change the world and some will change one life. But everyone's dream matters. Everyone's dream adds a valuable and needed contribution to the world. If the seed of a dream is planted in your heart it is your responsibility to work for it and make it real. You have to nurture the dream with faith, patience, and perseverance. This Assignment is to work on your dreams. Today I am working on mine! After a series of setbacks, obstacles, and difficulties it feels so good to be moving forward. I'm so excited to share more about this when the time is right. It will be soon, but it's not ready just yet. 

Tips for Realizing Your Dreams:

1. Write it Down. Get clear on your vision and claim the space by writing it down. Share it with me in the comments. 

2. Feel your Way forward. Imagine that you're living the dream. How do you feel? 

3. Small steps. What action can you take for your deals today? The journey always starts with one small step forward. 

Every human being is endowed with the same qualities of intelligence, feeling, love and hurt. We are not a mass reducible to ratable, scalable, sellable, marketable features. We are people, individuals with likes and dislikes, with bodies that ache and hearts that break, with families and friends scattered far and circling close. Our difference is no difference at all. There is no "other" except that which we make in our mind. It takes courage to admit our shortcomings, courage to admit where we have been short-sighted, ego-driven, motivated by fear, and just plain wrong. It takes courage to speak up and stand together for a higher standard of treatment, to right the unspoken wrongs of unconscious behavior. But courage most of all comes down to love. To love not just from where we are comfortable, but to reach across the lines and love where it is uncomfortable, to love against all odds, to love those whom we are not expected to love. As Ta-neishi Coates says in Between the World and Me, one of the most socially important books I've read in awhile, "that love could be soft and understanding, that soft or hard, love was an act of heroism. And I could no longer predict where I would find my heroes." 

Points of Reflection:

1. What is the most heroic thing you have ever done? Why did you do it? What was your motivation? 

2. What is the most heroic thing someone has done for you? Why do you think they did it for you?

3. What defines an act of heroism? What makes a hero?