Chapter 22

Trust and Surrender. Trust that where you are is where you need to be. Surrender into the wisdom of a higher power that guides every action of your life with compassion and grace. You can either operate from this deep place of connection. Or you can try to do it all yourself, use force, apply pressure, compete with yourself and others, fight, claw, dramatize, react, antagonize and rant. In other words you either choose to operate in trust and surrender or you will find yourself caught by the snares of fear and control. So just for today, trust. Try it out. Heal past betrayals that have wounded your heart. Cast out unforgiveness and be brave enough to believe again. So just for today, surrender. Try it out. Feel the ease and flow that comes in when the burden of stress and anxiety lift off of your heart. Wait for it. Because the blessings of more peace and happiness that you ever thought possible are coming just for you. All you need to do is trust and surrender. ​

My family said that religion would have to be my choice when I was old enough to decide. It wasn't until I started practicing yoga that a door opened to a direct experience of the spiritual. Today I am a deeply spiritual, non-religious person. I believe that every single person has the potential to know and directly experience the deepest and most rarefied spiritual truths. I believe in faith born from that direct experience, incontrovertible faith that can never be shaken. I believe that the heart is the most sacred space and that when we lay down our arms, our weapons of emotional warfare, when we are stripped of all exterior forms of measurement like culture or class, that really, we are all the same. We all need love to thrive, we all need a hug sometimes, we all have goodness in our hearts and we all know somewhere inside that we are destined to shine. Amidst marshmallow bunnies and perfect tulip table arrangements, it's easy to lose sight of the amazing power of what this day actually celebrates. Resurrection. Rebirth. Renewal. You can be reborn in the eyes of spirit. You can rise again out of the ashes of the past and fly on wings of grace. You, right now, right here, in this moment can be free. The power to step boldly into that new direction in your life is available to you this very instant. You don't need any form, you don't need any dogmas, you just need an open heart ready to surrender.

Called Metta in Sanskrit, kindness is an attitude of love and friendliness, it is the yogi's desire that all sentient beings, including ourselves, be well. Take the challenge and be nice all day for one full day this week, be nice in speech, thought and action, be nice to yourself and to others. Give people the benefit of the doubt, be gentle with yourself and others, embody love in action, deed and word. We are how we treat each other and nothing more. To be humble, to be kind, this is what it means to be a yogi. Be strong, strong enough to believe in yourself and lift others up, strong enough to know that your power resides in yourself, strong enough to stand your ground and know exactly who you are. 

You've probably seen my YouTube videos. But you might not know that I've taken a lot of crap for them. Scroll through and you'll see tons of negative comments ranging from sexual to just plain mean. People I've never met and never will meet have told me that what I do isn't yoga, that what I wear isn't appropriate, that I speak too fast, that I'm just about selling sex. Behind the veil of social media I've been called a s**t, a w***e, and a whole series of other derogatory slurs aimed at my gender. Supposed "friends" of mine have gathered around my YouTube videos and made fun of my clothes, my speech, my body, and, well, just me. 

And I can tell you that it sucks. There is nothing nice about bullying and frenemies who show you one face only to stab you in the back when you turn away. There is nothing nice about being judged by people who will never bother to give you the benefit of the doubt or learn your full story before passing judgement. Constructive criticism coming from love is awesome, helpful and so necessary. But harsh mean-spirited words can crush someone's tender spark of inspiration and hope. The fear of being bullied keeps so many voices of inspiration locked inside. It's hard enough to face your own self-doubt let alone stand firm against a mountain of nasty comments.  That's the reason why I stopped posting yoga videos on my Youtube channel due to that. 

In the space between what you see and what you believe is faith. In order to do what you cannot do you must believe in the impossible, the illogical, and the unlikely. The seed of success is so much more about how much you're willing to let it in than it is about random luck. Let your broken heart heal, drop the old story of why you can't, and set your soul free to soar. Faith is the bridge to the magical world of miracles where the improbable becomes real. Called Sraddha in Sanskrit we each have a certain measure of faith in our hearts. Stand at the bottom of the mountain of doubt and climb it on wings of faith. Faith born from direct experience is unshakable. But even stronger is the faith in the unseen world of good things yet to come. Your belief is the spark of creation that makes the impossible possible. Sraddha is the faith that says, I know this to be true, I am willing to work tirelessly to make it so and I will never give up. Sraddha is faith that comes with the necessary counterparts of energy, enthusiasm, strength and peace. Against all signs of doubt and failure, faith is the quiet voice of the heart that simply says: I believe. 

When I started this practice I didn't believe in myself at all. But my teachers believed in me and asked me to do things I never dreamed I could. Because they had faith in me, and because I had faith in them, I believed in myself. Their faith was big enough to hold me in it. They believed in me for myself and gave me hope that one day I would be strong enough to believe in myself for myself. 

So... What about you? Ask yourself this: what do you have faith in? Do you believe you're worthy of a miracle? Do you believe you can be healed? Do you believe you're good enough to be loved? Do you believe that you deserve all the success you seek? 

Cultivate the seed of faith. Nurture it with patience and perseverance, sow the seeds in the firm ground of your heart. As you believe so shall you receive. By your faith alone watch the mountain of doubt crumble before your eyes. Stand and wait for your miracle and be filled with boldness of hope.

Inner peace doesn't have to be a big show and production. It's as simple as taking a moment out of your day to feel the sunlight on your face, or let a little bit of love into your heart. Every dewdrop of love that percolates down into the inner sanctuary of the heart waters the seeds of patience, kindness and lasting peace. Carry that seed with you in every breath and bear the heart of a yogi, like a light into the darkness. Inner peace is brilliant and compassionate, wise and humble. And it fills you up so that you glow with an unmistakable, unthinkable presence that transforms the world around you. The revolution always starts with the choice of one person, you, your choice to live a life of inner peace. 

Carry the light of inner peace like a torch and let it change your world.